Ease [Cashton/Muke]

Chapter forty one

A submissive's headspace can be altered by a multitude of things and different headspaces can then manifest into different outcomes. One example is earlier when Ashton felt lost and disconnected from Calum, so felt the need to be more overwhelmingly submissive -that's a common headspace and reaction.

"So... can I call you Sir if I want to?" Ashton asks after listening to Calum's long, thorough and very helpful, explanation of headspaces.
"Call me Cal or Calum, as you were, but you can use Sir if you feel you need to. If ever there's a time when you need me to be more dominant, or you need to be more submissive, then use Sir and I'll take that as an indication that we need to tighten the relationship temporarily. Then whenever you stop using Sir, I'll loosen again. How does that sound?"
"I like that." Ashton smiles softly. "S-Cal."
"Whatever you're most comfortable with in any given moment. How are you feeling right now?" Calum says gently.
"I think I like Sir. I- I know this is necessary but I'm feeling overwhelmed. I barely know anything about this." Ashton's voice is quiet as he somewhat subtly presses his body deeper into his dominant. Their half-laying/half-sitting position slightly shifts.
"That's perfectly okay Sweets. We'll keep taking this slow but stop me if you want more of an explanation for anything. Don't feel embarrassed, it's important that we get this right and I understand that it's not your fault you know less about relationships and conventions."

Ashton burrows his head further into Calum's chest and takes a breath, allowing him to take in the reassuring scent of his dom.
"I'll keep calling you Darling, Sweetheart and -my favourite- Sweets. Then of course Ash or Ashton."
"Um-" Ashton squeaks, unsure of how to get the words he wants to say out of his mouth. 
"When you use Sir, I won't use Ash or Ashton." Calum clarifies.
"Thank you." Ashton mumbles.
"Of course, this is about equality."

"Next order of business," Calum declares as he finishes typing about their names for one another. "Simple, what is your safe word?"
"Red." Ashton says it instantly, but not rushedly. He didn't even have to think about it. It just felt natural.
"Easy. You can use it anytime of day or night, anywhere. Whenever you don't feel comfortable and you want me to stop whatever it is I'm doing, just say the word and I stop instantly." Calum's voice is firm, he needs Ashton to be comfortable with the idea of his safeword.
"I can't imagine that. What do I do if I need you? What if someone else is making me uncomfortable and I need you?" Ashton's grip gets subconsciously a little tighter on his doms chest and arms. The thought of needing to safeword from Calum makes him sick.
"Do you want to make another safeword for everyone else?" Calum hums, Ashton nods and thinks about it for moment while Calum continues typing.

"Yellow? Then it's sort of the traffic light system? Yellow is when I'm colouring out from everyone else but you and red is when I'm colouring out from... everyone." Ashton's voice drops a few decibels at the end, the idea of colouring out because of something Calum did is still sickening.
"Okay, if that's what you want. What's important is that you decide this and I understand it." Calum affirms.
"And you-"
"I understand it." Calum pecks Ashton on the lips reassuringly.

"We need to come up with some clear rules, or rather expectations." Calum begins, starting a new section in the contract document.
"I like how we are now. Without them." Ashton says quietly, not lifting his head to meet Calum's eyes.
"Every relationship has rules Sweetheart. It's normal." Calum gently cards his fingers through Ashton's light brown hair as he speaks.
"I- yeah- but- I don't know." Ashton sighs defeatedly.
"We don't have to be too specific Darling. We can just write about how we expect the relationship to be about trust, honesty, commitment, respect and gratitude." Calum explains, making Ashton smile and nod.
"Okay."

"The final matter of business," Calum clears his throat, "is the sexual side of things." Ashton initially doesn't say anything, just blushes bright red and tries to bury himself in the leather of the armchair.
"I'm not ready." Ashton squeaks after Calum's prolonged silence tells him that the older will remain silent as long as Ashton does.
"I know. That's perfectly alright but we still need to mention it in the contract. How about we just say that we'll let the relationship progress and see when we're ready for sex? We can talk about it more whenever you're ready." Calum says soothingly.
"I like that." Ashton smiles.
"And when you're feeling more ready we can start trying some vanilla things, then talk, or we can talk about all the millions of possible things we could do in sex first. Have a clear list of what you think you'll like before we do anything. It's up to you which."
"Can I- can I decide that later?" Ashton asks, still nervous despite how many reassurances Calum has given him.
"Of course Sweets. We'll do this at your pace. I just want you to be happy, healthy, safe and comfortable." Calum presses a myriad of kisses all over his sub's face and the younger giggles in response.

"Do you... do you have a list of like, kinks and limits..." Ashton asks curiously.
"My answer to that question could pressure you and that's the last thing I want." Calum says firmly.
"It could also encourage me... in a good way." Ashton reasons.
"I'm not risking it." Calum shakes his head. "Please don't rush yourself."
"Okay." Ashton frowns.
"It'll be okay Sweets. We'll get there. The sex will only work if we're both ready." Calum kisses Ashton on the lips and hugs him a little tighter.

"Now we just say we review after one week, two weeks and then once a month for six months? Then review this section in six months?" Calum suggests.
"Yeah, that sounds standard." Ashton shrugs. "Then again, I wouldn't know." He adds with a roll of his eyes.
"Please stop being so hard on yourself. It's all okay Sweetheart. We learn off each other." Calum finishes by going in for another kiss. This time it's deeper, still no tongue but more movement and action nonetheless.

A/N: softies. I'm excited for the next chapter. Love y'all :)

-Grace Williams xo