Ease [Cashton/Muke]

Chapter thirty nine

The first thing to break the silence is the sound of an almighty sob that rips through Ashton's body. Not being able to take it anymore, the youngest runs up the stairs. He contemplates a moment before going into his room -where he doesn't usually sleep. He doesn't think he could bear being in Calum's bed right now. He thinks that the worst part is that he was stupid enough to believe them. That Calum would do that. He didn't every try and talk it out. That is the thing the cements to him that he actually is a bad sub.

Calum stands up as soon as the moment catches up with him, wanting nothing more than to just hold Ashton close right now. Give him all the reassurances in the world.
"Wait-" Maggie stops him, making him quickly spin on his heels to face her. "You need to think about what you're going the say."
"He's undoubtedly mad at himself for believing them. He's still going to want to endlessly please you." Carla continues.
"Ok-"
"The notes, Ashton made it out to me like there was only one. I'd say it's the main one he remembers. He quotes it as saying..." Carla gulps nervously, not sure if she can bring herself to repeat it. "You are a failure as a submissive ashton irwin -Calum Hood; lowercase a, lowercase i."

"This can't be happening. I'm going to kill whoever wrote those notes." Calum seethes, Maggie sending him a look of disbelief. "I'm going to kill Cory." He clarifies.
"As amazing as I am at my job, you cannot go prison-"
"I never said anything about getting caught." He mutters.
"As soon as you are over your anger, you will walk slowly and calmly upstairs to talk to Ashton." Maggie begins, leaving no room for argument. "You will not step foot inside our office building until you have a relationship contract. I will deal with the Cory side of things tomorrow, you need to promise me you won't contact the school or try and reach Cory. Trust me."
"I- I don't really have a choice I guess. Thank you Mags." Calum smiles softly.
"You're welcome, feel free to call anytime if you want help with a relationship contract but you should be okay. Trust your instincts."

Maggie and Carla stand, walking behind Calum up the stairs.
"Good luck." Maggie says finally, squeezing Calum in a tight hug.
"Give Ashton my number, tell him he can message me about sub things anytime." Carla makes sure to tell Calum as they step out the front door.
"I will, thank you Carla. You've been a big help. If it weren't for you we- well yeah." The two women just smile reassuringly as they walk back to their car. Calum takes a deep breath as he shuts the front door, trying to rehearse his words as he makes his way to the bedroom but realising there's a host of different ways Ashton could have reacted and he'll have to wait and see. 

Calum checks his bedroom first, being more shocked than he should be when he walks in to find Ashton kneeling on the floor at the foot of the bed.
"Sweetheart, we need to talk about this. We need to talk and develop a contract but most importantly, I need to reassure you forever and ever how perfect you are. How much you mean to me. How much I value you." Calum's voice is calm but Ashton doesn't look up.
"Sir," the younger's voice cracks, "I want you to punish me."

"What?" Calum wheezes, his mouth going dry. "You- Ashton I'm not punishing you for this. You did nothing wrong. And I can't punish you without a contract."
"I assumed you wrote those notes. I didn't even try and communicate with you. I didn't trust you. I need to be punished Sir." Ashton says, voice clearer and more determined.
"Do you believe trust to be one of the integral parts of people's relationships?" Calum asks, voice taking on a more authoritative tone because that seems to be what Ashton needs and wants right now.
"Yes Sir." Ashton replies without missing a beat.
"Then trust me right now."
"I-"
"I have told you and I will continue to tell you that you are the best submissive I could have ever wished for. You mean the world to me. As your dominant, I am the only person who gets to decide if you are a good submissive or not. I understand why you reacted the way you did this afternoon and I am not mad at you at all, nor do I consider you responsible. Trust that." Calum says the final sentence with more strength, striving to make it properly sink in.

Calum walks into his robe and bathroom to get ready for bed, leaving Ashton to think about everything. When he hops into bed ten minutes later, Ashton is still unmoved at the foot of his bed.
"Sir?" Ashton asks quietly, peaking through his eyelashes to where his dom his positioning himself against the headboard.
"What is it Darling?
"May I join you in bed?" Ashton is a lot more nervous than he has been, still worried he's fucking up everything.
"Of course Sweets. Go get in your pyjamas and brush your teeth, then I think we'll both be ready to talk."

Ashton isn't ready to talk and he doesn't know when he will be but he complies. He gets ready for bed as asked before wordlessly slipping into the sheets next to his dom.
"What do you wanna talk about?" Ashton asks quietly, voice timid.
"You've become so distant in one afternoon. Twelve hours ago everything was great between us." Calum says sadly.
"I just keep worrying that I'm fucking everything up. It was... kind of in the back of my mind constantly but you were being so reassuring that I relaxed about it a little." Ashton's voice is distant as he speaks. "Then the notes... maybe deep down I did know that you didn't write them, and that probably makes everything worse, but they were the straw that broke the camel's back. It just solidified in my head that I'm not good enough... so I came home and did everything I could think of."

A/N: cashton's relationship is still developing ahhhhh getting there. Hope you enjoyed and thanks of the support, lotsa love back to you :)

-Grace Williams xo