Disasterology ✞Luke Hemmings✞

Chapter 55- Creep

I don't care if it hurts

I want to have control

I want a perfect body

I want a perfect soul

I want you to notice when I'm not around

You're so fucking special

I wish I was special

Brooklyn's P.O.V

I continued to knock on Luke's hotel door but he wasn't answering. Calum had come into our room ages ago but didn't say anything. I had been crying since Luke shut me out. I slammed my palm against the door one last time before I couldn't stand any longer. I turned against the door and slid down, bringing my knees to my chest as I continued to cry. I felt the burn run through my body and I started to scratch my scars then all over my body. I felt itchy and the burning sensation got more intense. I needed to shower so badly; I needed the itching to go away. I leant my head back against the door and took a shaky breath.

"Brooklyn..." I looked over to see a guilty looking Ashton standing just outside the door.

"Go away," I whispered then leant my head back again and closed my eyes.

"I'm sorry...I just"

"Please Ash," I whispered brokenly. "Just please leave me alone"

"Ok," he said. "I'll leave the door open so you can come in when you're ready," he muttered.

I gulped loudly before hauling my heavy body from the floor and using the wall to keep myself balanced. I opened the door slowly and walked to my suitcase. I pulled out my strapless, mint dress, A Tale Of New tights, my white cardigan and my mint, lace-up; crochet Oxfords then walked into the bathroom. I had my blade tucked into some of my clothes so they boys wouldn't see. After I'd stepped into the shower that's when everything crumbled. Not one inch of my skin, except for the top of my arms, was not covered in fresh, red, lines of demolition. I'd cut into my cheek a few times as well. After I padded myself dry and got dressed I got dressed, brushed my teeth, redid my make up and curled my air. I braided my fringe and pinned in under some hair to cover the bobby pins.

As I was about to open the bathroom door I saw something that quenched the burning in my body. I stared at the little orange container before taking it in my hands. I stared at it for what felt like eternity before I stumbled back and sat on the edge of the bathtub. I studied the label a few times.

May cause:

Changes in appetite

Difficulty keeping balance

Dizziness

Drowsiness

Dry mouth or throat

Headache

Impairment the next day

Uncontrollable shaking of a part of the body

Unusual dreams

Weakness

Warning- overdose may lead to

Loss of consciousness

Blurred vision

Nausea and vomiting

Dizziness

Shortness of breath

Drowsiness

Death

The last one sounded inviting. I mean I regretted everything. I'd ruined myself to no end just because he broke his promise. Isn't it funny how it hurts the most when someone promises you they'd never do something but do it anyway just to mess with you? That's what's got me perched on the edge of the white bathtub tossing the translucent orange bottle between my hands. It's just mistakes, mine and his just messed into one giant, unfixable ball of mistakes. I ran my short nails along the grip of the white cap keeping the pills contained. The only thing that ran through my mind was what I did to hurt him. That's why he's in his room and I'm in here, no one aware of my plan. It hurt too much to think so I just wrapped my palm around the cap and twisted.