You know, it’s so important to be honest with people you like. Tell them what they mean to you today, because they might be gone tomorrow.
What makes me ache with grief is that Kade had stopped reading this blog, “I wanna read it when we’re through with all this, when we’re free of The Surgeon,” he said. Now, I kinda wish he had been reading it, as it would have given him a greater insight into me and my feelings.
I keep going over things in my head, like all the times I was snappy and scratchy with him – those times keep coming back to torment me.
……
Kelly is trying to communicate with me, flapping her arms and pointing, but I don’t have the energy to try and make sense of her.
Right now, I’m kinda numb.
……
Kelly jumps into the ambulance and removes the blade from Kade’s hand. I can’t watch, nor can I do anything.
What’s done is done.
I walk away on suddenly wobbly legs. Weakness takes over me and I rest myself against one of the vehicles.
I ache all over and feel suddenly nauseous.
I feel really heavy – my world is black…
……
A distant voice is calling out to me, “Tanya, are you OK?”
“What?” I feel fuzzy.
My shoulders are being shook.
“Who is it?”
My face is being slapped.
“Come on Tanya, we need to get you on your feet.”
A male voice calling me Tanya, my mind is trying to comprehend while my eyes flicker in an effort to stay open long enough to see who this is.
Water is thrown in my face, “What the fuck!”
“That’s it, come on Tan, you’re coming round.”
Tan, that’s what Kade called me. Snippets of info are coming back to me – Kade’s dead.
I sit up and see him – “KADE!”
He’s smiling. Is this some sick prank?
“I thought you killed yourself? You were in the ambulance with a scalpel in your hand,” I manage to say, while trying to stand up.
Kade helps me to my feet, “I fainted, and you went right ahead and did the same thing. I guess that’s what you call a sympathy faint,” he laughs, while checking me over for injuries.
I straighten up, it all comes back to me, “We couldn’t find you, what were you doing?" Why’d you faint?” My words slip out, all slurry.
Before he even has a chance to answer I look around and ask, “Where’s Kelly?”
He puts his arm around my shoulder and leads me toward the ambulance, “OK, I’ll start with your last question and work back. Kelly’s in the ambulance attending to Troy, one of the mute workers, he’s escaped…”
…“Is he injured?” I cut in.
“He is now; I was cutting out the GPS tracking device from his hand when I discovered something about myself.”
“What?”
“I don’t like blood. Man – I went down like I’d taken a bullet!”
I stop him, “Why didn’t you come and wake me, you know I can do minor surgeries like that?” I ask, my profound relief at him being here stops me from being pissed.
