You Light Up the Sky Like Lightning

Chapter Fifty Eight

You Light Up the Sky Like Lightning 58

A soft knock came from my door at noon the next day. 

"Landry? Justin's here," Carin said from the other side of the closed door. "He's waiting downstairs."

I quickly straightened my shirt, and made sure my hair was okay before opening my bedroom door and walking out. Carin was standing near the doorway.  

"Scooter and I will be back later," she said. "Okay?"

I nodded, and watched her turn around and go back down the stairs. I heard her say to Justin, "She's coming. Just give her a minute."

After that, I heard the garage door open, and then close a minute later. Yes, I was waiting for Scooter and Carin to leave. 

I took a deep breath, and started down the stairs. 

Justin was waiting by the front door- which was right next to where the bottom of the stairs were. 

When he saw me, a small smile spread across his face. "Hi," he said softly. 

Despite everything, I couldn't help but send a small smile back. "Hi."

By now I was down the stairs all the way, and standing in front of Justin about three feet away. It was silent for about twenty seconds before anything happened. 

But, it came as a surprise when he opened his arms, and asked in a small voice, "Can I, um, have a hug?"

I blinked, but stepped forward into him, surprising myself. He put his arms around my shoulders, and I put mine around his stomach. He held me tight- just like he used to. 

I laid my head on his chest, and I almost shivered at the familiar warmth, feel, and smell of him. And that made me pull away. I took a step backwards, and I wrapped my arms around myself. 

"Landry, can I say something really fast?" Justin asked, taking a step forward. I took a small step backwards- away from him. But I nodded.  

I didn't reply other than that, so he said, "I'd be lying if I said losing you was something I could handle. Because I can't lose you for good. I don't know what I'd do!"

"Justin..." I said, looking at the ground. "I have no problem with you. I have a problem with what you did."

"I know..." he whispered. "I'm so sorry."

"But," I started. "I do understand why you did it. I realize that you were trying to protect me. And I'm... grateful, I guess."

Justin smiled big. "So does that mean-"

"But I want to take things slow," I said, looking away. Justin fell silent, so I continued. "Even though I'm still mad, and I'm going to be, I just..." I trailed off. I didn't really know what to say, so I repeated, "I do understand why you did it. But I don't want to rush into things again."

"So, if we started by me asking you to come to Canada with me to see everyone up there, would you?" Justin was smiling big at me with a pleading look on his face. 

I thought for a minute. Should I? Would that be considered rushing into things? Or not because technically we have been together for almost five months?

But inside me, I knew my answer as soon as he asked the question.

"Of course," I said quietly. 

Justin got a really big smile on his face. 

"But you have to do me a favor," I said. 

"Okay, I'll do anything!"

I smirked. "I have you completely wrapped around my finger, don't I?"

Justin laughed lightly. "Pretty much."

I laughed a small laugh, and then fell silent. "Don't... don't try to pressure me into doing anything again... And also... there will be some times when I just need some space."

Justin nodded and looked at the floor. "I really tried not to put pressure on you. I really did try."

I smiled small. "I'm sure you did, but it doesn't matter now. What's done is done. What has caused hurt will stick for a while, but for now..." I didn't know if I could do this. I was a whole lot more mad at him than I was letting on. He really hurt me, and I don't know if he sees that. 

Scratch that. I knew he saw it. I knew he saw how much he hurt me. I knew he was trying to make everything better. I knew he still loved me. I knew that there were always going to be ups and downs. I knew that we would get through this. 

"So, um, when do we leave?" I asked, twiddling my fingers. 

"The day after tomorrow," Justin said. He was in a really good mood, even though I was still mad at him. 

"Oh, okay. Does Carin and Scooter know?"

Justin nodded, and his eyes found mine again. This time, I didn't look away. 

"Landry, I really am sorry," he whispered, still holding my gaze. 

"I know you are, but that doesn't really change anything. I was hurt, but I'll get over it. Maybe not right now, but eventually."

Justin nodded again. "Okay, well, I should probably go. I'll come by tomorrow if you want me to, and maybe I could help you pack."

I smiled. "Okay, see you then."

Justin smiled. He took a step forward, closer to me, but hesitated. He took a deep breath, which made me nervous. I didn't want to kiss him while I was upset with him. He seemed to realize this, and kissed my cheek. I had to think that he had guts to kiss me at all when I was mad at him. 

Justin turned around and opened the front door. He glanced behind himself at me once more before he shut the door behind him.  

Now that he was gone, I could think properly. Do I really want to go to Canada with him? How mad was I still? How long was I going to stay mad? Do I forgive him? I mean, I understand perfectly well why he did the whole bet thing in the first place, but if I understood, then why was I still mad?

I had no clue.