The Descendants Series Vol. 2

Part 1 - Chapter 1

Part One

Numb

Can't you see that you're smothering me?
Holding too tightly, afraid to lose control
‘Cause everything that you thought I would be
Has fallen apart right in front of you

- Linkin Park

 

Chapter 1

One year, seven months, three weeks and five days.  That’s how long he’d been gone.  Even though it seemed like a long time ago, it was still front and center in my mind like it happened yesterday.  And every time I thought about it, which seemed to be like a lot, I would go numb.  No one would be able to get be out of my trance that it would put me in.

I seemed to block almost everything that was happening around me out of my head.  I didn’t talk to anyone and I hardly even stayed in a room where they were.  For the first few months after his death, everyone put up with my not talking to anyone.  I didn’t speak to Rowan, only in our dreams and with Reagan.  But when it started toward a year, they got worried.  Everyone tried to get me into their conversations, but I never wanted in.  It wasn’t until Lyric had come into our room one night after I’d gone to bed early without having dinner that I started talking again.

“Rayney?” she asked.

I didn’t answer.  I just turned over on my side and looked at her.

“Rayney, Grandma wanted me to come get you so you could come have dinner,” she said.

All I did was stare at her.  But when tears formed in her eyes and started running down her cheeks.  I sat up and opened my arms for her.  She ran toward me and jumped into them, crying harder on my shoulder.

“I don’t like you like this,” she said.  “You don’t talk to me.  You don’t tell me stories about Mommy and Daddy anymore.”

I sighed and spoke for the first time in forever.  “I’m so sorry, Lyric,” I whispered since that’s all that seemed to want to come out. 

“Can you please come out for dinner?” she asked.  “Everyone would be so happy if you did.”

“Would it make you happy?” I asked.

She nodded fiercely.  “Yes, it would,” she said.

I smiled sadly.  “Okay, Lyric, I will,” I said.

She hopped off my lap and I stood up beside her.  She’d grown a few inches, but she was still tiny to me.  And I also forgot about something that had happened a few months before.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you ‘happy birthday’,” I told her.

She smiled and took my hand.  “It’s okay.  I told you ‘happy birthday’, though,” she said.  “Rowan, too.”

“How long ago was that?” I asked.

“Seven months ago,” she said.

“I’m sorry,” I said again.

“It’s okay,” she said again.  She looked up at me after a few moments.  “Can you carry me?”

“I don’t know.  You’re getting pretty big,” I said.

“Not too big yet,” she said.

“No, I guess you’re not,” I said, and leaned down to pick her up.  She wrapped her legs around my waist and her arms around my neck. 

“I love you, Rayney,” she whispered close to my ear. 

I had to look up so my tears wouldn’t run down my face.  “I love you, too, Lyric,” I said, and headed out the door.