One Weekend Of Giving In

Chapter 49

I didn't realize it was over and people were gathered around us until Carly pulled me up so I was now standing. We looked at each other, not knowing what to do or what to say. Mom was gripping both of our hands like a lifeline while dad was standing behind her, holding her upper arms tight enough to support her. Some of their extended family from around the country came up and we all broke apart to accept hugs from them. I didn't know who most of them were, but though they all knew me. When they looked down or placed a hand on my stomach, rounds of tears would burst out of them. It seemed to much to bear to everyone that I was holding the only piece left of him in this world. Jace.

It had been five days since the accident. Five days since he told me he loved me, but I didn't say it back.

FIVE DAYS SINCE HE DIED.

5 days earlier****

Fifteen minutes after Jace left, mom, dad, Carly and I sat around the kitchen table talking through everything that had happened that day. Everyone was more shocked than I had been, but then again, they hadn't been there for every maddening moment of our relationship throughout this year. Carly's phone rang, and I knew it was Cory by the way she answered it. I glanced at the clock, he should be back with my car from dropping Spencer off at Jace's house.

"No" she whispered, face drained of color, eyes wide. "No you're lying. This isn't funny babe!"

I tilted my head toward the phone and almost jumped out of my seat when she screamed bloody murder.

"NO!"

"Carly!" Katherine hissed. "Calm yourself sweetheart!" Carly was now staring at the phone, horrified.

"We have to go!" She screeched and began to run out of the kitchen. "WE NEED TO GO NOW!"

The three of us stayed at the table until we heard the front door slam shut and her car start up. Carly began to scream from the car, telling us to hurry, fat tears falling down her eyes. James opened the driver door and pulled her out, placing her in the back seat which I slid into after.

"PLEASE DAD! Oh, god DAD JUST DRIVE!" She screamed, cradling her head and rocking back and forth slightly. I rubbed my hand across her back, and after I shared confused looks with her parents, he finally backed out of the driveway.

"Carly, honey, do you mind telling me where I'm going?" He was talking soft and melodic, like she was a patient and he was the therapist. Carly didn't say anything, just continued sobbing. Mom turned around from the passenger seat and pulled Carly's hands from her face.

"Carly, you're being dramatic, calm down honey and tell us what's wrong."

Carly's phone rang again and she tapped on the talk button, but didn't say anything. I grabbed the phone and managed to get it out of her death grip, checking the screen first, I brought the phone to my ear and spoke.

"Cory? Wha-"

"He's not waking up! I can't get him out, there's blood everywhere. He's not waking up!"

"Cory who?"

"Ambulance is here. You need to hurry!"

I heard him screaming for whom I'm guessing were the EMTS, and then the call ended. I realized then that we could hear sirens from the car as well and I looked up to see we were only a few blocks away. Carly was still harshly whispering unknown words.

"I think he might have wrecked my Range rover?" I guessed, still confused. He was supposed to be taking Spencer home. Then it hit me. Oh god no. Please no. Don't take him from me.

Once we saw the ambulance, a fire truck, and 3 LAPD cars blocking off part of the street, we rounded the corner and dad drove down the street so he could park and not block the rest of traffic. But that's when I saw everything. Cory being pulled away by an officer, struggling to get back to the flipped car that looked like it was fused to the front of an eighteen wheeler. A scream that rivaled Carly's ripped from my throat and I bolted out of the car before it had even stopped. I ran past the officer holding Cory and made it by another few before one of the fire men's caught me and swung me away from the wreck. Seconds after I was swung away, the now flipped car blew up causing an explosion.

"JACE!" I screamed and wailed on the man to put me down. "JACE!" Everything was silent, yet so loud at the same time. I couldn't hear the sirens, I couldn't hear the shrieks and sobs from his family, I couldn't even hear my own voice for god's sake. It was deafening. I looked up to see firefighters on the move trying to put out the fire. I continued to struggle to get to Jace. Two people held me down so I couldn't get back up. I saw Cory crushing Carly to his chest a few feet away from me, both sobbing and falling to the street as well. I didn't know where Katherine and James were, but I couldn't make myself look for them. My eyes snapped back to Jace's car as a few men pulled Jace through the passenger side door. He was limp, his blonde shaggy hair and his body was covered in blood. A surge of adrenaline shot through my body and the next thing I knew I had pulled away from the people holding me and was now running toward where they had laid him on a stretcher in the street.

"Jace! Baby please wake up! Wake up!" I grabbed his lifeless hand before a female EMT began to remove me away from the area again. I screamed at her and reached back toward him. "Don't leave me like this! Jace wake up, please!" I was taken to the back of a police car where an officer was trying to calm me down, and ask me questions about my relationship to the victim. I couldn't concentrate on him anymore, the high pitched silence was back. I looked over to Jace's family where they were standing next to a couple officers. James was the only one speaking,while Katherine and Carly were clutching each other as Cory was being taken to a second ambulance so the medics could take care of his arm. He had torn them pretty severely when he tried to get Jace out of the car. Another medic walked up to the family and spoke to the officers, I didn't need to be near them to know what he just said. Carly's jaw dropped in a soundless scream and mom fell to the ground while James bent at the waist, gripping his chest with one hand, his hair with the other. My arms cradled my belly as my little gummy bear gave a soft kick.

"Daddy's gone baby.." I whispered.

****Present

Cory was driving back after dropping Spencer off at Jace's house, he had seen the whole thing. Jace drove through a red light, never once slowing down, the driver of the truck had been going almost sixty miles per hour.

"If there is anything we can do for your family, please feel free to let us know." A couple from the New Years Eve party hugged four of us and turned to leave.

My eyes glanced over to the coffin and I felt the air leave my body. I'd been careful to keep my gaze on everything but the coffin, and now that I was looking at it, I couldn't seem to stop or remember to breathe. I gripped Carly's arm and struggled to catch my breath.

"Breathe Mackenzie." A deep husky voice commanded as someone wrapped their fingers around my wrists. My breaths came but they were coming too fast, and my ears were ringing. Jace was in there. Jace was in that box, dead. It was all my fault. Why did I let him leave that night? Big hands cupped my cheeks and turned my face, tearing my eyes from the front of the church. As soon as the coffin was no longer in my sight I squeezed my eyes shut and focused on my breathing.

"Good job Mac, just keep breathing." Thumbs brushed tears away from my cheeks. I opened my eyes to see worried hazel eyes staring back at me. "Better?" I nodded and wrapped my arms around him, pressing my face to his gray shirt.

"Thank you for coming Spencer." He rubbed soothing circles on my back until I unwrapped myself away from him and latched back onto Carly. Ever since I was dragged out of Jace's bed this morning to attend the funeral, I constantly felt like I had to be touching someone to make sure that this was real. I desperately wanted to go back home, curl up in Jace's bed, and breathe in his scent and numb my heart and mind again. This was so much easier to deal with no emotions, when I didn't feel anything.

Carly's intake of breath was audible and her entire body tensed.

"You have a lot of nerves showing your face here."