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Still There & Get Closure

Continued.....
1:46 A.M.

August (POV)

This dream, this reoccurring dream has been taking a toll on my conscious for the past week now. The pain sewed into her consciousness — into her entire being— was frightening. Her heart was being worn on her shoulders, and the vulnerability that she hates to be seen was now the only thing I could see. I remember this day. The night I ripped out the soul that I put bandages on and stomped on it.

As I sat off to the side looking at me and Mani's younger self, I couldn't shake the feeling that there was something I was suppose to be looking for, something that I was suppose to take from this dream...but what? What secrets could lie this far back in our lives that I need to remember.

The two of us were singing and slowly a smile spread across my face, because even then our love was as evident as the color of the sky. My younger self had set down with Mani still on my lap and knowing what was coming next, I turned my head. I couldn't watch that look in her eyes for a second time; I had a hard enough time seeing that look the first time, I didn't want to see such a haunting gaze again. I didn't want to face the shattering of her soul yet again. Especially knowing that I was the one causing it.

"I'm leavin' ma."

And in an instant I felt all the happiness in the room drain out and be replaced with her anger and my despair.

"What?"

"I said I'm leavin', and I can't-."

"What do you mean you leavin'? Where are you goin'?" She got off of my lap and stood to her feet.

Her eyes held a look of resentment and hurt- it pained me to know that I was the cause of these feelings, but I had to go; I had to go make a better life for everybody I cared for. Her and Kali especially.

"Im goin' ta' Atlanta and-,"

"So you juss' fuckin' leavin' huh? You juss' gone fill my head wit' lies and leave, is dat' it?"

"No-,"

"Then what, huh?! Why would you juss' leave me?!" She yelled causing my heart to crack with every tear I watch fall down her face.

"I gotta go, I got signed Mani!"

"You got signed?"

"Yeah, I got a deal and I juss-I juss' wanna make shit right fa' everybody."

"Take us wit' you then!"

"Mani I can't-,"

"And why not?!" She cried falling to her knees in complete shambles,"Please don't leave me- please don't leave like everybody else."

"I'm gone come back I promise." I went to touch her.

"Fuckin' liar!" She screamed moving away from my reach,"I thought I was yo' beautiful diamond, yo' queen," She cried lowly,"Guess dat' was a lie too, huh?"

"Mani no," I shook my head, not knowing what was wrong with her," Please know I'm comin' back fa' you and my Kali bug, please."

I watched myself plead with her for her understanding. I never got why she was so hysterical, but now I know why. Everybody that Armani once loved left her weeping and scared for life. Her father, her mother, Her grandparents, and....Mel. They all left her. Her first line of defense left her vulnerable to this cold evil world. So of course  she always had that feeling that I would not return for her, and leave her high and dry.

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