My Psychotic Lover

Chapter57: MY HEART

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"Happy Birthday T!" We said to him while I'm holding a cake and balloons on Jeremy's hand.

We were here in Resto Bar which is own by Jeremiah "Jeremy" Davis, Taylor's venue for his event. People inside were not that much, only few friends and co-workers, T's family and Jeremy's.

There was a small stage in front of the round tables in a white table cloth. On our left side was the bar counter, and on its side was a corridor to the kitchen. The place was well organize; there's a lot of lights inside.

"Thank you so much, guys!" Taylor replied when he hugged us, "This birthday is nothing without the both of you!"

Jeremy tapped his shoulder, "You're too dramatic, " he said with chuckles, "What friends are for?"

"We'll never leave you, T." I uttered.

After the friendship hug, we pulled ourselves then Taylor York wiped his tiny formed waters in corners of his eyes, "This is bullshit, I felt tears," he exclaimed, "Let's play a songs. . . before I directly burst into tears."

Jeremy wrapped his right hand around Taylor's neck, while his other hand was messing his hair, "Come on, you're a man now!"

I was just standing here smiling at them while they were bluffing around to each other. My friends were always be like this; we grew together, became friends when we were just little until we went in high school, and from there I met Harleen. Taylor and Jeremy weren't this close before, but because they both like music just like me, they've learned to trust each other; they were just like real brother's now.

Although my surroundings was this happy, it was still different inside of me. No matter what I do, even I'll be surrounded by lots of happy people, my mind and my heart was still betraying me, they still kept on missing Jack. I was like a puzzle which has a missing part. Jack was still completing me. No matter how busy I become, after everything, when I'm lying on my bed, his face would suddenly appear in thoughts. I wanted to touch his hands, his face.

I was so stupid to say, I'm fine now that I'm looking forward to moving on, but the truth was, it's so hard; it was like a car which was stuck in a thick mud that no matter what you do, even you force it to move, you still cannot escape, that you still need a help from someone else.

I wish, Jack could help me of what I've been through now, but he couldn't.

At this moment, I'm here on the stage with Taylor and Jeremy. My eyes were roaming around, to see if there is someone who's so strange, and if I have seen one, it must be Jack. Was he celebrating? Was he wishing that it must be me beside him? That we both celebrating his birthday? Does he miss me?

"Good evening ladies and gentlemen," I began as I'm finally sitting on a steel chair, "I'm Hayley and this are my friends. . . as you can see, we're going to sing a song which was written by me and my friend Taylor, our birthday boy— but actually, my friend has a same birthday with someone that was became so important to me, but now, he was gone in my life and probably happy of what he was doing by this time. So yea, I dedicated this song to him, and if you are here, listen to this, this is called  "My Heart."

I am finding out that maybe I was wrong
That I've fallen down and I can't do this alone

Stay with me, this is what I need, please?