The suicidal boy I mean everything to.

Chapter 5. Go to hell boo.

After our conversation about who thought who was attractive, he stopped outside my room. He waved goodbye and went two doors down to his classroom.
"Well!" Zack clapped his hands together, "I knew you had a soft spot for him but calling him attractive." He smirked at me and I returned with a mock smile. He gave a deep chuckle and put his arm over me resting it on my shoulder.
"You're an idiot and I hate you." I teased him. He let go of me and put his hand on his heart. He pretended to be offended and faked wiping tears away.
"Go to hell boo." He laughed at me. I open my arms and bowed.
"Already here kitten pickles." I said as I looked up at him. He raised his eyebrows and chuckled once again. We stood in a comfortable silence for about a minute before I heard shouts and giggles coming from down the corridor. I turned my head and saw Matt walking shaking his head while Chris was giving Amber a piggy back and she was laughing her head off. Her and Chris have been secretly dating but they aren't very good at the secret part and me, Zack and Matt had a bet to see how long they would keep this up before they told us. My bet was in the Christmas break. Matt reckons October break and Zack thinks spring break because he thinks they're to secretive. Bull.
Chris was the only one in my class, Amber was in Matt and Bennet's class. Zack wasn't really in any class at all. He was in my class but our teacher hated him so much he insisted on him never being allowed back in our class again, so instead he just sits outside the head of the department doing text book work. He doesn't really care though. As long as he gets a C in it. The moment he leaves school he plans to join the army. I respect him for that. I waved goodbye to him, Amber and Matt then went into my class with Chris. Maths was boring as hell and it being only the second day was even worse. Not getting into details but I almost got sent out for sleeping.
You can't judge me, it's standard form and it's so easy it puts me to sleep. I had English Literature next and for some reason I was really happy about sitting next Bennet.
I walked to my seat and got my pen out. I waited for the lecture to begin and sure enough it did. I just had one question playing on my mind. Where is Bennet? He didn't come in with everyone and I was confused because he was obviously in. It was about half way through the lesson when the door was knocked. Miss gestured for whoever it was to come in and Bennet walked in with a note in his hand. He handed it to miss and she nodded her head and he sat down next to me. He dropped his bags and pulled out a pen.
"Good morning Ell."
"Good morning Bennet." We half whispered to each other and tried not to be too loud, although we were at the back off the classroom we still had to be quiet to avoid our conversation being heard by the small class of 15. We could talk but I just don't like people knowing everything I'm talking about.
"Could I copy your notes?" He asked peering at my notes. I pushed my book closer to him but kept my hand over my work.
"If you tell me where you were." He bit his bottom lip as he considered my offer. He put a concentration face on and I just raised my eyebrows. He sighed.
"I was with the councillor." He finally admitted quite bluntly. I relaxed my eyebrows.
"Can I ask why?" I treaded carefully, I didn't want to intrude but I wanted to make sure he was okay because he's my friend and I care about him. Like Zack said, I have a soft spot for him.
He clenched his jaw and his hands together as he rested his forehead against his fingers. He sighed deeply again.
"Do I really need to explain? You remember summer a few years back right?" How could I forget? I just nodded not wanting to interrupt.
"Yeah well I'm not 18 until April that's a few months away. I was living with my aunt but she has four other kids all under 10 and she couldn't keep up so she put me in care. I've never been fostered because I'm too old and everyone wants a cute kid. A young kid. No one wants the boy who is so messed up his only way out is art." His breathing was picking up and his speaking pace got faster the angrier he got.
"The boy who has no one, the boy who's thoughts run and ruin his life, the boy who-" he stopped.
"Who... Who." I put my hand on his shoulder to comfort him.
"Who is suicidal but Nobody gives a damn because he is a 'man' and can handle himself. If I was a girl things would be different, my aunt wouldn't have let me go, everyone would care and I would get a flood of confidence. But I'm a guy, therefore no body gives a damn." He eventually finished and formed his lips into a firm line.
"I give a damn, heck, I give more than a damn." He put his head down and whipped it back up again.
"Please don't." He sighed, "please don't make promises you can't keep and don't say anything you don't mean."
"I do mean it." He laughed at my comment.
"Bennet! I mean it okay?" I care about you a lot, just because we don't speak everyday and we don't hang out all the time doesn't mean I don't care."
"Why do you even care?" I bit my lip down.
Why do I care?
"The truth is, I remember that summer so much because I was with Jason and you were one of his close friends and I spent a lot of time around you and I saw you everyday break a little more and nobody said anything. And you have no idea how many times I said to Jason maybe I should, speak to you but he wouldn't let me because he said you were fine and I wanted to help you because slowly you ignored everyone and you just walked away. Then when me and Jason broke up I saw less and less of you and now we talk more I just want to make sure someone is their for you unlike last time when nobody else was." I finally finished and he smiled at me.
"You know, I said to Jason a lot how he never showed you how much he loved you, he told me to mind my own business. I guess we were secretly looking out for each other." He said still smiling, I smiled back.
"I guess we were, who says we still can't, but just be a little less silent about it this time." He chuckled.
"Alright Ell I have a deal for you, I'll look out for you, you look out for me, you save me, I save you in any situation, deal?" He smiled holding out his hand. I took his hand and shook it smiling.
"Deal."