#611-620

4.8K 160 47
                                    

611.That awkward moment when you hear yourself eating crunchy food, and wonder if other people can hear it too.

612.Imagine reading a book of every conversation where people have spoken about you.

613.No, you don't have "haters". People just don't like you. Get over yourself.

614.Imagine this: you're home alone and you sneeze. Suddenly the phone rings and you answer, then someone whispers "Bless you" and hangs up.

615."That's nice honey." -Grandma's version of 'Cool story bro.'

616.Whoever snuck the s in "fast food" is a clever person.

617.Note to self: don't set your password reminder as "you should know this"

618.Since it's way too hard to get six pack abs, could we maybe collectively decide they're gross instead?

619.I wanted to try out my Spanish skills, so why not the Spanish version of instructions at the ATM, but then I was like- what if it gives me pesos?

620.99% sure my neighbors have seen me naked through my window at least 20 times.

Vote and comment for your favorite Facebook Status! :D

Hilarious Facebook Statuses :)Where stories live. Discover now