301. If you need a friend (text me) need a laugh (call me) need a hug (stop by) need money (this number is no longer in service)
302. If a bag is not resealable then it contains one serving. I don’t make the rules.
303. I hate it when I meow at cats and they dont meow back. Unbelievably rude.
304. I don’t know who or what is doing it, but one day I will find the thing that continues to steal one sock and destroy it.
305. Are oranges named orange because they’re orange or is orange called orange because oranges are orange?
306. I text back embarrassingly fast or three hours later there is no in between.
307. Have you ever sneezed so hard you think you opened a portal to a different dimension?
308. Me: Mom…Dad. I’ve decided to live on my own from now on. Parents: Ok, cool. Me: Your luggage is outside.
309. I think I missed out on the “neat and cute handwriting” gene that every girl seems to have.
310. I suppose giving the middle finger would be unprofessional…
Vote and comment for your favorite Facebook Status!!
YOU ARE READING
Hilarious Facebook Statuses :)
HumorInspired by Han_Man: I'm going to be uploading at least 10 every week to give you pleasure and laughter, Maybe more ;) So, everytime I update, I need you all to do something for me... COMMENT YOUR FAVORITE! The first comment will always win the dedi...
