281. A big shoutout to all those people who write answers in textbooks.
282. I love the feeling when someone cancels plans that you didn’t want to attend anyways.
283. Smile. Your enemies hate it.
284. Friendly reminder that Adele and Taylor Swift are the same age yet one of them has a child and another is mentally stuck in middle school.
285. I would make a bad parent… my kid would say “I dont wanna go 2 school I just wanna sleep” & I’d probably get in bed with them and say “I feel you”
286. 6 am: tired 9 am: tired 11 am: tired 3 pm: tired 5 pm: tired 7 pm: tired 9 pm: tired bed time: ENNNNEERRGGYY
287. Exercise? More like extra fries.
288. I thought eyelashes were meant to keep shit out of your eye, but half the time if there’s anything in my eye it’s a damn eyelash.
289. If Lindsay Lohan made it through her cracked-out bleached-blonde lesbian jailbird phase, you can make it through today.
290. Please either stop being so attractive or make out with me it is your choice.
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