581. I often wonder if my parents get overwhelmed by living with a model.
582. How I flirt: *Stares from a distance*
583. Either my Spidey senses are tingling or my butt fell asleep again.
584. That awkward moment when you realize you can't ignore someones message on Facebook anymore because it shows that you've read it.
585. I only woke up because I smelled bacon. There was NO bacon. Guess Biggie was right, it was all a dream.
586. Everyone has that one friend you just can't bring anywhere cause they always embarrass you. If you can't think of who that friend is, it's you.
587. I wish I had an inspector gadget arm so I could reach out and smack some people from a distance.
588. Just invented the funnest work game ever: while on the phone with a man call him ma'am. Listening to them deepen their voices is hilarious!
589. Whenever I delete text messages, I feel like I'm deleting evidence.
590. Pandora: *skip* *skip* *skip* *skip* *skip* *skip* runs out of skips.. *changes station*
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Hilarious Facebook Statuses :)
HumorInspired by Han_Man: I'm going to be uploading at least 10 every week to give you pleasure and laughter, Maybe more ;) So, everytime I update, I need you all to do something for me... COMMENT YOUR FAVORITE! The first comment will always win the dedi...
