641.My mirror and my camera have two completely different ideas of what I look like.
642.Always love a woman for her personality. They have like 10, so you can choose.
643.If you watch the Mighty Ducks backwards it's about a hockey team that starts sucking so bad that the coach leaves and becomes an alcoholic.
644.When you're in the shower, and you hear loud thumps and you think "They're killing my family, and I'll have to fight the attacker naked..."
645.The guys at Home Depot must take classes to know exactly what I meant by "the little thing next to that one piece with the round thing."
646.I'm a bitch? You're a bitch. Your mom's a bitch for having a bitch, your dad's a bitch for fucking a bitch. Now who's the bitch? Bitch.
647.When I get in an elevator, before I press a button I look at everyone inside and say "Are you ready to take this shit to a whole new level?"
648.I did as you said and saved the drama for my momma but now my mom wants to talk to your mom. I think you're in trouble.
649.Fat people like hashtags because they look like waffles. #
650.If you never jumped from one couch to the other to save yourself from hot lava then you didn't have a childhood.
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HumorInspired by Han_Man: I'm going to be uploading at least 10 every week to give you pleasure and laughter, Maybe more ;) So, everytime I update, I need you all to do something for me... COMMENT YOUR FAVORITE! The first comment will always win the dedi...
