11. Jealousy is something you’re good at when you think you suck at everything.
12. I see subway employees are still having their “how much lettuce can you fit on a sandwich” contest.
13. I think the toaster should give some sort of an indication when its going to pop instead of scaring the shit out of me when it does.
14. Excuse me lady in the check out line in front of me purchasing both a box of condoms and a pregnancy test…..How’s your day going?
15. Cat hair is lonely people glitter.
16. Some people are like clouds. When they disappear, it’s a brighter day.
17. I have CDO. It’s like OCD, except that the letters are in alphabetical order. Like they’re supposed to be.
18. A quiet man is thinking…a quiet woman is fucking pissed!
19. Love is like Dominoes; I fall for you, you fall for another.
20. You know that chemical that gets released in our bodies after sex that makes us think we like someone, hey science can you get rid of that?
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HumorInspired by Han_Man: I'm going to be uploading at least 10 every week to give you pleasure and laughter, Maybe more ;) So, everytime I update, I need you all to do something for me... COMMENT YOUR FAVORITE! The first comment will always win the dedi...
