221. So God invented Christian Mingle to hook you up with his pick for you? Doesn’t seem like the best use of his time.
222. Relax, I know what I’m doing. I read half an article about this on About.com
223. You chicks spend a lot of money on makeup to look pretty. Save your cash, buy him Alcohol.
224. Nothing screws up your Friday like realizing that it’s only Thursday.
225. Thanks for posting 300 photos of your baby on Facebook… also thanks for reminding me to buy condoms.
226. I did 26 situps this morning. It’s not a lot, but then again, how many times can someone snooze an alarm clock?
227. I’m looking for a new personal trainer, the last one didn’t work out.
228. I am constantly making the decision between being a good person or being a sarcastic asshole.
229. Adulthood – Pros: You can now eat ice cream in bed. Cons: This will somehow make you sadder.
230. If you made a liquor called Responsibly all your competitors would be legally obligated to advertise for you.
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