Chapter 4
Remus Lupin was having a very peculiar dream…
"Honey, I'm home!"
Remus shut the door of the ridiculously one hundred and fifty bedroom mansion.
"I'm in the kitchen, darling!" a voice called from within the abode.
His footsteps boomed as he walked into the high ceiling entrance hall, where he stepped under an elaborate chandelier and was immediately met with a house elf.
"How was your day, sir?"
"Not bad, Poppet. Not bad," Remus replied, letting the elf take his robe. The creature hurried away, remaining in a continuous bow, which Remus insisted was not necessary but nonetheless the poor being did a peculiar moonwalk in his departure whilst Remus followed the appealing smell coming from the kitchen.
He leaned either hand on the sides of the kitchen doorway and sniffed an almighty inhale.
Sirius Black turned around from being occupied by the stove to greet Remus wearing not only a cheeky grin but merely an apron which said 'KISS THE COOK'.
Remus reacted as if seeing Sirius naked and only wearing an apron was an ordinary phenomenon. "Something smells nice."
"I'm making Creamy Tortellini Chicken Primavera!" Sirius announced. He turned back to stirring in a cooking pan, revealing his jiggling bottom in its current eager wiggling.
"Want to try some, Moony?" Sirius offered a spoon of sauce.
Remus stepped into the kitchen and accepted the offer of food-tasting. He licked the sauce covered spoon much too long than considered normal and ended it with a seductive lick of the lips. "Tasty."
"Are you talking about my outfit, or shall I say lack of, or the sauce?"
"Both."
"Rawr!" Sirius growled.
"Mr. Black, and, er, Mr. Black, sirs?" Poppet the house elf stepped into the kitchen with his back flattened like a surfboard. "Mr. Potter has just confirmed dinner at seven."
"Oh, thank you, Poppet!" Sirius said gratefully. "You can go on your break now. Go have a fag or something," he tried to get rid of her.
The elf looked very much confused.
"Just go and sit in your hidey-hole, then."
"Yes, sir." The elf left the room looking at the floor at all times.
Remus leaned on the kitchen counter with a slightly sulky expression. "James and Lily are coming for dinner tonight?"
"That's what the Creamy Tortellini Chicken Primavera is for, silly papoose," Sirius wagged a spoon at him teasingly before continuing stirring.
"Do they have to come over?" Remus spoke in an odd sort of whine. "I was planning to just shag your brains out until I screamed the Greek alphabet in ecstasy."
"Oh, really?" Sirius raised an eyebrow. "We can always fit in a quickie before they come…"
"Bedroom. Now," ordered Remus. "And keep the apron on."
"We haven't done it in the dining room yet," Sirius pointed out.
"Really?" said Remus, shocked and possibly appalled. "We've already marked our shag territory in the living room, bathroom, study," he counted on his fingers, "the pantry, broom closet…"
