Chapter 3-Ridiculous Rhyming
The boys entered the common room and James shook his shaggy hair, sprinkling Sirius and Remus with loo water.
"Thanks for the lovely perfume," Remus commented sarcastically. James replied with a pat on the back. Looking confused, something caught his eye on the notice board.
"What the bloody hell!" James ran up to the board, grimacing at the sight of the large poster, displaying his mother…as a baby…in a dress. He didn't like seeing early pictures of his mother due to a very embarrassing, traumatic experience last time she showed him photos of her when she was seventeen. His mum had smiled proudly as she shoved photos of her young self in his hands, protesting how 'groovy' she was, asking disturbing questions of 'do you think I was cute?' and saying 'I was gorgeous wasn't I! Your father couldn't keep his hands off me!'
He was scarred for life, along with the broom closet event.
A lot of confusing questions were going through James' mind, wondering how exactly this photo had gotten on the notice board in the first place. Only one name came to his brain.
"Padfoot, you nutcase!" James exclaimed.
"God, I put up a missing poster for a friend and what do I get? Grief."
"That's because you put up a missing poster for a person who wasn't missing," Remus pointed out.
"I am not lanky!" James suddenly burst out loud as he'd just read the detailed information along with the photo.
Sirius snorted, grabbing one of James' gangly arms and watching it flop after being dropped from shoulder height. "Your arms remind me of... runner beans."
"Great detail," Remus nodded.
James glared at them both. "I'll have you know that girls love my untamed hair," he said slickly. Sirius and Remus erupted into sniggers.
"I suppose girls love the piece of chewing gum stuck in your tresses then?" Remus questioned.
James looked confused, reaching a hand to his hair, but Sirius had already beaten him to it.
"OOW!"
Sirius had clawed a hand to his head, ripping a blob of chewing gum that had somehow managed to get wedged. Sirius had pulled a little too hard, along with pulling out some of James' hair in the process.
"Oh, you twat!" James clutched what was left of his hair. "I can feel a bald patch!"
"Don't worry, mate. Haven't you seen that wizarding hair spray stuff? Its hair in a can! You spray it and hair comes out! Its like, whipped cream..." Sirius said amazingly. "But with hair," he added.
"Right..." James gave Sirius an odd look. "I wonder how exactly gum got on my head in the first place," he said with suspicion, glaring at the culprit.
"Er, the gum fairy?" Sirius suggested.
James rolled his eyes. Turning back to the poster, he ripped it off the notice board. To his horror, the same poster was underneath it. He ripped the other identical poster off. More to his horror, the same poster laid underneath that one. "What the," he muttered, pulling off poster after poster of the same bloody poster.
Eventually James' hands were heaped full of the same photo of his mother as an infant. "How many posters did you stick up?"
"It's a spell," Sirius explained. "It never ends."
"Oh great! Everyone thinks my mother is me! That's an odd sentence," James commented. "Are you a deluded? How could you think my mother was me? She's wearing a dress, for Christ's sake!"
