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Chapter 18- Worthless Squid and Sleeping Farts? An All Time Low....
"PRONGS!" Sirius bellowed the second James' body hit the water with an almighty splash. The terrible scene all seemed to happen in some sort of demented slow motion as the spell had hit him in the chest, making him falter back into the lake water.
"Oh Crap! God! Crap!" Sirius shrieked, each word screamed with the same amount of fear and volume, "God! Crap! God! Crappy! God! Crap! Goddy!"
"Stop with the rambling blasphemy!" Remus howled.
"Sorry!" Sirius quickly apologized. "Don't worry, Prongs, I'll save you!" he cried gallantly. Without a hence thought –which he would really regret later for not doing—he jumped into the lake after James' slowly falling body.
"How many times do we have to go through this, Padfoot?" Remus screamed from the water's edge. "You cannot swim! How many bloody times do you have to jump in to the lake for you to realise that?"
"WAAAH!"
As you can tell, things were pretty disastrous.
Remus Lupin was panicking.
Panic. Panic. Panic.
"Sirius, kick with your feet!" Remus shouted, watching the poor attempts of Sirius Black failing the doggy paddle. "Doggy paddle, Padfoot! DOGGY PADDLE!"
It was rather ironic that Sirius could swim in his animagus form, yet is not able to as a human...or whatever he was classified as.
"WAAAH!"
Luckily the Giant squid noticed the drowning boy polluting his lake water, deafening the creature's ear drums. Scooping impressively with a tentacle, he picked up Sirius and lugged him back to shore in a pretty aggressive temper, showing its annoyance on having to save too many lives lately.
"Doggy paddle," Sirius mumbled, still kicking out his legs and arms as his eyes were closed, obviously unaware that he was now out of water.
One Marauder down, one to go.
Did I mention Remus Lupin was panicking?
Panic. Panic. Panic.
Did I mention James' body had disappeared under water?
Panic. Panic. Sodding panicking.
"HEY GIANT SQUID!" Remus yelled, waving his arms outrageously. The squid's tentacles seemed to flap about a bit, so he took this as a greeting and a sign of communication. "FIND BOY UNDERWATER!" He simplified so the instructions were clear enough for a magical creature to understand.
The squid did not react.
Remus wailed in hysteria. "Why aren't you doing anything? You're the saving Giant squid! You're in the lake for a purpose! BE PRODUCTIVE!"
Remus received a rather large wave of lake water at that particular comment.
He looked to Sirius for some support and help, but he was still lying on the ground, looking soggy and clogged up with water; still wet, and still mumbling, "Doggy paddle..." as he kicked out his legs.
"You're colossal!" Remus continued. "You're the prodigious squid! Help my friend, you incompetent, overgrown sea beast!"
Remus received yet another large wave of lake water at that particular comment.
"Stop talking to the squid, Moony," Sirius coughed up spurts of water, struggling to his feet. He managed to stable on his legs and held on to Remus' shoulder with an odd look of despair, which you knew he must have practised in front of a mirror at some point or another. "Help James!" Sirius pleaded. "Hurry, Moony!"
