"You're using the mug I got you," James said, gesturing to the cup on the table. He chuckled at the phrase printed across it: 'friends are like bras, close to your heart and there for support'. Anything mentioning the word 'bra' was funny to him. He had momentarily forgot the fact that Sirius had stopped any chances of he and Lily 'getting intimate' due to the ridiculous Remus Lupin replacement Marauder auditions, more focused on grinning because his Christmas present had been put to good use. Lily, however, had not forgotten, but was busy recovering from the image of Frank Longbottom seconds ago being pulled out by his girlfriend Alice, claiming he had wanted to be a Marauder. She was also trying to decipher Alice's statement that marrying a Marauder would be a bad thing...
"Yes," Sirius rubbed the mug clean with his sleeve, "You're a big fat bra, Prongs."
"Harharharharhar, bra! Wait, I'm supposed to be mad at you!" James realized, punching him in the shoulder.
"Ow!" Sirius growled, punching his arm in return. "You punch like a girl, Prongs! Your girlfriend can hit harder than you!" He stuck out his tongue, and his teeth nearly clamped down on it when James knocked the wind out of him, wrestling him to the ground.
Lily watched the exchange between the boys with her nose scrunched. She just couldn't understand the play-fighting of boys. It didn't look like much fun, judging from the wrathful expressions of James and Sirius as they attacked one another, kneeing, elbowing, and whatever possible action to do with a limb that didn't come across as sexual.
"GERROFF!" Sirius cried out, his stomach currently crushed by the buttocks that was James Potter's arse. "Aaargh, you mork!" He kicked out his legs. "You dare let off your bloody derrière gas and I shall make you eat cat pubes!"
"That is grotesque," Lily commented on that particular threat, watching the spectacle with her arms crossed. "James, for the sake of our relationship, remove your bottom off Sirius before I start to question your heterosexuality."
"Just a sec, Lils," James promised. Sirius let off a wail, slamming his fits to the ground like a child in a tantrum.
Peter scooted up to Lily, trying to make conversation. "Isn't it funny how this same scene involving two girls, rolling in mud, would come across as erotic to men, yet this image seems plain idiotic to you?"
Lily arched a brow at such a question. "I don't know about that exactly...I'm kind of getting turned on right now."
At Lily's statement, James and Sirius froze in horror. They took one look at each other and jumped to their feet, brushing their clothes and keeping a fair distance away from one another. James noticeably shuddered, looked at Sirius, and then shuddered once more.
"You'd so French me if you were gay, Prongs. Don't give me that look."
"Mental images, mental images, mental images," James chanted, rubbing the temples of his head. "Make them go away, Lily," he begged. She gave him a sloppy kiss on the cheek and he brightened in an instant.
"You know, if Moony was here, I'd probably make the joke of him kissing me to make it all better," Sirius frowned.
"Which leads me to the question of why you are replacing him," James said.
Sirius narrowed his eyes at him, which made James inwardly groan at what inane thing he was going to get told off for doing now. "You'd have known if you'd BEEN HERE," he blew a raspberry at him.
"I have been here," James said firmly.
"No you haven't. You weren't here last night."
"Padfoot," James sighed. "I was with Lily in the hospital wing last night, and I got back late and went straight to bed, here in the Head Tower. You know, the apparent free lodging for your auditions," he ended dryly.
