Chapter 14-A 'Dodgy' Door and A Drunken Sirius
Lily hurried her way around the tables of the Hog's head and straight up to the barman with long hair and a very grumpy face.
"Um, 'scuse me?"
"What?" he grunted.
Lily tried not to lose her nerve and considered going back over to James and the boys, but frankly she needed to pee and didn't want to redden even more as she overanalyzed why, when, and how James had figured her as wife potential.
"Is there a bathroom in here?"
The surly man pointed over to a battered door of a bathroom, displaying the barely readable words of 'Witch'.
"Watch the door though," he warned her.
"Sure," Lily said slowly, not quite understanding the caution and just the teensiest bit freaked out. She quickly went over to the 'Witch' bathroom and was met with a piece of parchment stuck with spellotape glued to the door. It read, in barely readable writing, Don't close completely. Door's dodgy.
"Right..." She said again slowly, but nonetheless pushed the door open, leaving a gap as the wise parchment had said.
As she pushed open the door, she was swiftly met with the aroma of urine and a smell so horrible that it reminded her of Hippo the Hippogriff's bag of rat munchies. The bathroom was pretty much the same condition as the rest of the pub: covered in dirt and grime.
Without making any hesitations, she rushed in to one of the cubicles to relieve herself. She frowned as she read the 'cryptic' messages on the cubicle walls of 'SIRIUS WAS HERE BEFORE U!' And another written note of 'JAMES POTTER WANTS LILY EVANS' BABIES' scribbled out and written to the side, 'PADFOOT, STOP WRITING STUFF ABOUT ME', and then another message underneath of 'I CAN WRITE WOTEVA I WANT MATE. I AM THE KING OF CUBICLE WALL WRITING'. With many, many more scribbling lines and insults of Sirius and James' conversation, ending with the line "YOUR MOTHER. HAR HAR!"
"God, I'm in a girl's bathroom..."
"James?" Lily screeched, from sitting on the toilet; it wasn't one of the most romantic moments.
"Hey," James tried to say in a casual tone. He ambled his way over to one of the bathroom mirrors and rubbed at it, trying to find his reflection. "You alright?"
"Well," Lily began in a slightly hysterical tone, "I'm down to my last tampon if you wanted to know considering you're in a girl's bathroom...Which I believe is not the first time," she referred to the cubicle wall scribbling.
"What?" James paled. "I-I've never been in here before...nope. Nada."
"Did you just say 'nada'?" Lily laughed. "So, what exactly are you doing in here?"
James fumbled with his tea cosy hat self-consciously and sat on one of the sinks. "I, er, just wanted to check if you'd ditched me for calling you my future wife." He flushed. "Sorry 'bout that. I was joking...Haha...ha..." His laughs trailed off into a sigh and a slap to his forehead.
"It was such a funny joke," Lily said feebly, although inside she thought the joke was so bad it may have given her cancer. "So funny I nearly wet myself laughing so I had to go to the toilet."
James gave her an unconvinced look as she came out of the cubicle, forcing laughter to show she was still recovering.
"Seriously, James." She turned to him as she washed her hands, though the water was so dirty it seemed to make them more unclean. "Let's just forget you said it, alright?"
James nodded eagerly which made Lily laugh.
"Just as long as you don't start naming our kids-"
"Harry," James blurted out, instantly clamping a hand over his mouth.
