Stuck

Homophobia.

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Juliet

Its 2 days later and the three boys are back today. Their parents all apologised for their behavior and promised they wouldn't do it again.

I arrive at work half an hour late today as I had an argument with larissa. I stayed late at school again last night to drink and I came home drunk. She chose to lecture me for it this morning. She chose to drive separate so we wouldn't argue more.

I get to school and park my car. I walk through the quad and I gasp when I feel something being poured on me from above. I open my eyes and look at my dress. Im covered in orange paint. I look up but the people have already fled.

I look around and people sat at benches are staring at me. I spot larissa walking towards the school and her eyes widen when she spots me. "WHO THE HELL DID THIS?" she shouts as she runs over to me. No one answers and she drags me away to my office.

"Your lucky I had extra clothes here love.." she says pulling a hoodie over my head. I had showered in the room we still have here and im now in some leggings and a hoodie.

"I..dont understand...why are people like this.." I say trying not to cry. "I know hun...they are only picking on you because they are bigger than you.." she says hugging me. I nod and kiss her. "Ill..call everyone to the quad..and ill have a word with them" I say smiling at her.

Thats what I do. Im stood with the full school infront of me. "Theres been..some incidents recently...and I'm here to tell you I will NOT...TOLERATE ANY HOMOPHOBIA OR BULLYING" I shout.

Most of the older students look shocked as I don't normally raise my voice. "IF I CATCH ANYTHING HAPPENING I WILL CONTACT YOUR PARENTS AND YOU WILL BE EXCLUDED" I shout. I spot a few people rolling their eyes.

I'm sat in my office at 9pm when I hear something being slid under my office door. I get up and walk over to a piece of paper. My heart drops when I see one of the pictures from the whole layla incident of me and larissa..doing stuff. The slur dyke is written in red letters across it. I open the door to look put but no ones there.

This repeats every night for the next 2 weeks. Each time I scrumple the picture up and put it in a drawer in my desk. Each time either dyke or fag or faggot is wrote on it.

I've been drinking more. The only time I havent drank is when I'm home. I've drank from when I get to work to when I leave. This has resulted in me and larissa arguing every night.

Its now Monday and I go into work after a weekend off. Larissa goes to put her bag in her classroom/office and we agreed she would come to meet me after.

I walk towards my office and I a confused look covers my face as I spot a huge crowd outside my door. "Whats going on?" I ask pushing through them. I freeze as I spot fag painted across my door.

I push the doors open and I struggle to catch my breath when I see stripes of red paint all over the walls and floor. There's ripped up paper everywhere. The drawer of the pictures is pored out and all my books are ripped apart. My furniture is all tipped over and the chairs are ripped up. I look at my computer which is on the floor smashed up.

"What the hell-" I hear larissa say behind me. I turn to look at her with tears in my eyes. I look past her and the students are still stood here. "WHAT ARE YOU STILL DOING HERE...FUCK OFF" I shout at them. I feel arms wrap around me as they run off in fear.

I turn around and cry into larissas shoulder. "How longs this been going on love.." she asks. "A..a few weeks..ive had pictures of us that layla posted everywhere posted under my door every day..it started the day I had paint poured on me." I say through sobs.

"Why didn't you tell me love..is that why you were drinking.." she asks. She sits down on the floor and pulls me onto my lap. I nod "I...needed to get myself through everything..so thats w..what i turned to..". "Oh love...im sorry.." she says running her hand through my hair.

For the rest of the day we try to clean up as much of my office as we can. Afterwards I tell larissa to go home to the kids and to tell wednesday what happened. I tell her ill be home at 10.

Its now 9.30 and im currently onto my second bottle of wine. Over the last few hours everything has piled up on me. Whilst staring at the photos layla took of me and larissa memories of the last year fill my head.

I put the bottle down and I look over to my letter opener. I feel a stinging in my wrist and I pick up the sharp item. I trail it across my wrists and hiss as blood runs out. After 20 minutes I repeat it again making multiple cuts across my wrists.

On the last one I cut too deep and the blood loss increases. "Oh well..atleast I'll end this misery.." I mutter as I take a sip of my wine. My phone lights up and its a text from larissa saying she loves me. I open the photo she sent and its of her, Bella, milo, Enid, and Wednesday sat watching a movie.

"Crap..what have I done" I cry out as I try to stop the bleeding. I have kids..I have a family...I can't do this to them. As I call larissa my vision goes blurry and I feel my skin turn pale.

"Hello love?" I hear as I lay my head on my desk. "lara.." I whisper out. "Love..whats wrong..you only call me lara in certain situations" she says. "I..d..dont think I'm making it out of my office alive..or with blood...I love you all" I say.

"Jules...JULES-" Is the last thing I hear before I feel my heart slow down and my eyes close.