Stuck

Overwhelmed

___________________________________
Juliet

20 minutes later we pull up outside nevermore. I get out the car and i get milo out the car. I put him on my hip and shut the door.

Larissa drives off to find somewhere to park. I forgot it was parents weekend so its quite busy. A few of the teacher come over to aww at milo. One goes to grab him from me for a cuddle and I get protective. "Fuck off" I hiss at her. She nods and they walk away.

"What was that about?" Larissa asks as she reaches me. "One of them tried to grab milo..I told her to fuck off and she did" I say as we walk into the school.

We get to the quad and its filled with parents and students. I spot wednesday stood talking to enids parents and I walk over. "You must be Mr and Mrs sinclair..im principal weems and im also wednesdays mother" I say smiling at them.

Her mother gives me a weird look as I'm dressed in leggings,a baggy shirt and a denim jacket. Enid looks over to me and smiles "oh my god..hes home". I pass wednesday her brother and I watch as they talk to him.

I must have zoned out because I'm brought back by larissa putting a hand on my waist and pulling me closer to mer. "Everything ok love?" She asks. I nod and hum "everythings fine..im just a bit overwhelmed with everything..".

She starts running her fingers through my hair "just let me know when you wanna leave.. and we can go to your office.". I nod and lean onto her.

Wednesday passes milo back to me when Enid goes off with her parents. Larissa looks at me shocked when wednesday hugs  me. "You made me worried...id prefer not to feel that again.." Wednesday says stepping back.  "Ill try not to" I say smiling at her.

After a while more and more parents arrive. Im stood with Wednesday as larissa went to talk to someone. The overwhelmed feeling grows. I look around and struggle to find larissa.

Wednesday wanders off leaving me alone holding milo. I keep looking around for larissa and start to panic when I can't find her. I feel a hand on my shoulder and I turn around.

"Juliet..its good to see you...and this must be milo" morticia says smiling at my son. "I'm so sorry for your loss juliet...this little terrors adorable" gomez says. I hum and start looking around for larissa again.

Gomez goes over to wednesday and leaves me and morticia to talk. "Whats wrong?" She asks me. "Larissa said to tell her if im feeling overwhelmed...a..and I am..a..and I can't find her" I say.

Milo starts crying and wriggling in my arms. "I know bud..we will find mommy" I say. I walk away and start to wander around the school. Milo starts to cry more. I go back out to the quad and i look around in a circle for larissa.

I start to feel more crowded and my breathing speeds up. Milo starts screaming more. "I know buddy..your hungry aren't you.." I say. I walk into the school as tears run down my face. I sit on the floor in a corner near the reception area and unbutton my shirt so I can feed him.

Im laid against the wall with my eyes closed whilst im feeding milo. I feel a hand on my face and a thumb brushing over my cheek. I open my eyes and smile when I see larissa holding the nappy bag.

"Where did you go?.." I mumble. "I remembered we forgot the nappy bag..then I was stood in the car park talking to a few of the students" she says helping me stand up. "I could find you to tell you I wanted to go to my office...and then milo got hungry so I sat here to feed him" I say.

"I'm sorry love..why don't we go to your office" she asks and I nod. By the time we get there milo has fallen asleep. I sit in my chair and spin it back and forth.

We get back to the house at 6pm. "Ill start making us some food whilst you put milo to bed." Larissa kisses milos head then she goes to the kitchen. I carry a sleepy milo upstairs.

I walk past alexs room and stare into it for a second. I walk in and run my finger over the side of his cot. "This would have been your brothers room.." I say looking down at milo. I sit in alexs rocking chair and look around the room.

Tears run down my face as I think about how alex won't get to use his room. He won't sleep in his cot. He won't play with his toys.

"Hey love..." I hear larissa say at the door. I wipe my eyes "s..sorry I was j..just about to put him to bed..". " love...its ok to cry..." she says coming over and hugging me.

"Y..you should go check on food.." I say standing up. "Foods done love..you've been up here for an hour." She says moving my hair out of my face. I nod and go into milos room.

After we eat we sit on the sofa and watch modern family. I lay on her chest and she runs her fingers up and down my spine. "I wanna go back to work..." I mumble. "Are you sure...you can wait a bit longer if you want.." she says. "I'm sure..it will help me take my mind off things..ill go back next week.." I say.