Persphyni: I am Determined

57

I swooped down and grabbed the walkie from Sybunka's dead body and attached it to my waistband before walking forward.

"Bellamy?" He turned towards me as I approached him. Pain hidden deep within them as I held out a hand. I waited silently for him to take it. His arm slowly raises before he placed his hand in my own. I gave his hand a soft squeeze before turning and pulling him with me.

"Where are we going?" He sounded tired as I pulled him away from the destroyed fountain and the square full of people.

"Closer to the stars." I kept leading him towards a far building on the outskirts of Polis. Towards the tallest building still standing. I pushed open the doors and made my way up the rubble of stairs, never once letting go of his hand.

I was worried if I let go I would lose him.

We finally stepped up onto the destroyed rooftop and I guided him over to a small cleared section. I slowly sat down on the roof. My sword digging into my back as it rested on the debris that stood like a wall behind me. Bellamy soon followed until we both were sat down side by side.

I slowly tilted my head towards him and rested upon his shoulder. I smiled as I looked up to the stars.

"The last time we did this was basically seven years ago." I whispered as I felt him lean further into me. Even though it seemed like things were back to normal between us, I could still feel that slight unease we had towards one another.

"Bellamy. I.. I don't want you to feel obligated to be with me. If you started something up in space and I've suddenly just cut in- I don't want to be the reason you're unhappy. Ever." I heard him sigh before he turned towards me. Shifting as well so I could look at him in the eyes.

"Persphyni. If five days ago someone told me that you were alive and I'd be able to see you again, I would have punched them unconscious. It isn't something to be taken lightly. The feelings that I have for you isn't something to take lightly. I hate that you feel so worried but I know you only feel like that because you don't think you're good enough. But you're wrong. I would drop everything if it meant I got to have you." His hand came up to my cheek as he tilted my face back up for my eyes to meet his. "Pers, I know it's going to take some time. It's been six years, but I want to be here with you. I want to be by your side. I want to work through this together with you. Because no matter how hard I could possibly try, I know that there is no one else who has held my heart in such a dangerous way like you." I blinked, his thumb wiping the tear from my eye.

"Bell. I am willing to try to. I'm sorry. I know we already talked about this, I just, with everything happening right now I wanted you to know it's okay if you have to let go." He shook his head at my words.

"I don't plan on ever letting go." He whispered leaning down.

"Neither do I."

A shooting star crossed right over our heads as we became preoccupied with one another. The bright twinkling stars in the back seem to glow and giggle at the sight. The moon holding a soft light, spotlighting us in the dark of the night.

As we finally pulled apart from our kiss, I rested my forehead on his. My heart opening as I readied myself for what I was going to say.

"Bellamy," I whispered, heart thumping dangerously in my chest, "I..I" my words stuck in my throat as he slowly pulled away.

"Hey, it's okay. Breathe. Take your time." I nodded and did as he instructed. Who knew confession could take so much out of you.

"Bellamy," I started again, "I lo-"

"Pers! Bellamy! Where are you two? Come quick!" I groaned at the interruption. Disappointment swelling in my chest at Clarke's urgent call.

"We should go see what the Princess wants." I huffed out, standing up and extending a hand to Bellamy. His eyes full of curiosity as he took it and used my hand to pull me towards him.

"First, finish what you were saying. What were you going to tell me?" I smiled and patted his chest.

"It's alright. I'll have time to tell you later." Regretfully, I had become too nervous to say it and chose to ignore the situation. However when I tried to pull away it didn't quite go as planned.

"No. Whatever you have to say is more important than anything else. So tell me, what were you going to say?" Although I knew I couldn't say it or else I might pass out, I found my heart fluttering at his words.

"I, I just wanted you to know that I am ready to get through this with you as well." I saw his smile falter and his shoulders deflate but nonetheless he nodded.

"Good. Then let's go see what the Princess wants." When we started to descend from the roof I roughly smacked my forehead when he wasn't looking.

For the most fearsome warrior of the 100 I am taking a huge loss in the bravery category.

_______•*•*•*•_______

"We need to talk about Octavia." I nearly rolled my eyes at "business" version Clarke.

"What else is there to talk about. Something horrible happened down there. And I'm not just talking about the pit. You saw how starved they looked. When people are hungry, they slowly begin to lose their rational thinking minds." I spoke fluidly about all that I had witness and then what I was speculating. "They aren't going to tell us what happened because it is too damaging. So all that we can assume is the worse and try to help them separate from their past."

I saw Clarke open her mouth as Bellamy took everything in.

"Clarke, you can't ask them what happened. Not yet. Our first priority is getting them to feel comfortable with us. Our second is taking back Eden. Bellamy, your sister needs space but also her brother to help her."

"I can try." I turned to face him with my finger pointed at him.

"You, have to do better than try. No matter how much she hates you, showing her that you are there for her and that you love her- that's how you are going to help her. She's your baby sister. She needs to be reminded that she still has you."

Bellamy said nothing as the words hung in the air.

I knew what I needed to do. I just worry it would create more tension then we need.

I had to make them respect me more than they respected Blodreina. Which was going to be hard. I didn't go through the horrors of the bunker with them. I don't know what has happened. But I do know one thing.

I once had the respect of these people. And with enough time, I will be able to put in enough hard work to get it back.

I was going to try to restore this damaged world. I am determined to.

Damn the cost.