Persphyni: I am Determined

69

The rumbling and whirling of a machine came from the sand dunes ahead. The noise of the Rover pulled me from my own head as I waited for the machine to come into view.

As weapons were drawn and pointed towards the Rover, I simply stood and stared. Waiting for Madi and Monty to hop out. I watched the Rover bump a bit and knew that Madi was in the driver seat and not Monty. The little girl still had a long ways to go before I felt comfortable getting in the Rover while she's driving.

Clarke argued that I was just like that when I started learning, but I'd like to argue I had a better teacher than Madi so I turned out better in the long run. I'll just have to get Raven to teach her a few things once this conflict dissolves.

"Weapons down!" I roared over the sound of the Rover parking. "They mean no harm." I called out glaring at the warriors. My eyes watching as a small group of them moved their guns to rest while the others hesitated before moving the weapons lower but not fully relaxed.

Once Madi saw that their guns were down she hopped out of the Rover and sprinted towards us.

"Seda! Clarke!" I watched the blonde run passed me to grab ahold of the child she had become attached to. Madi was basically her kid, I was just the cool aunt who tried to teach her how to dual wield a sword and a dagger. That lesson was rough and I learned that Madi should stick to one or the other, for now.

"Seda!" She turned and sprinted towards me as I squatted to catch the young teen. Her arms tight around me as she hid her face into my shoulder.

"You lied." She whispers as she hugs me close. "You told me you'd be right back. You said you wouldn't leave us." I squeezed the young emotional girl. Before pulling away.

"Madi. My goal was to protect both you and Clarke. It is my responsibility to ensure your safety and the rest of my family's. You know this. You always have. You are family now Madi, no matter how bad your driving is." She pouted and crossed her arms as she looked at the car she parked halfway on a small lift in the sand.

"It isn't that bad." I rose an eyebrow and pointed at the uneven top of the Rover.

"You were rocking the Rover like you had the iPod plugged in. And I know you don't have the iPod because I would have heard it." Madi rolled her eyes and moved to face Clarke who walked towards us.

"Clarke. Persphyni is being mean again." Maxi whined with a fake pout.

"Brat. I'll make you do extra laps for that." I warned jokingly. Though when I saw the twitch in Clarke's eye I meant every word. Clarke looked like she was about to whip out her gun and shoot me. Her arms open for Madi as she embraces the young girl while glaring at me.

"I didn't! I was teasing her- hmph." I huffed before turning and looking away. My eyes lighting up as I saw Monty and Harper getting out of the Rover. A large beaming smile crossed my lips as I ran to them.

"Whoa, hello to you, too, Pers." I chuckled at the Boy Genius. Though I guess he's now the Man Genius.

"Let go! It's my turn." Harper whined playfully as I released Monty and turned to the girl.

"Hi, Harper." I brought the teary-eyed girl into my arms as she squeezed me tightly.

"Thank you. Thank you." She mumbled in my ear as I just held her for a minute. "But don't you ever do that again." She pointed a finger in my face trying to be threatening.

"Where's Raven, the Cockroach and his girl?" I asked changing subjects, I'd do it all over again if it meant they'd be safe. However, I realized the question held a bad answer when their smiles dropped. "The criminals?" Monty and Harper both nodded as I sighed and turned scanning the crowd.

"It's a little complicated. Raven is still trapped on board. But Murphy and Emori are stuck inside Eden. Murphy has a collar with a field around it trapping him within its bounds. Emori is working to get it off him." I nodded along. Bellamy and Clarke needed to hear this.

I turn. My eyes looking for Bellamy to get him to come over in order to fill him in on the situation when my eyes narrowed in on a sight that shot through me.

Thousands of small, jagged daggers cut right through my chest as I forced my suddenly too weak legs to be strong. My face steeling as I clenched my fists around my dagger hilts.

The image burned in my mind as I forced a breath down my throat and into my lungs. My eyes unblinking as I stared. My body immobile. The air trapped in my lungs. I was a statue, cracking and falling to pieces at the sight.

"Pers?"

"Persphyni?"

Their voices sounded so far away. Almost as if I was underwater and they were calling from the surface. Murmurs. I was drifting.

I was boiling. But I was also drowning. Silently sinking deeper and deeper.

Shock and anger swelled. This silent pain clawing at my chest nearly bringing me to my knees. I couldn't move. I was stuck. My throat tightened as if a fist held me still. Held me here so I could watch it.

Before, with Gina, I had brushed off the emotion. Tossed it to the side with the excuse that it was what I wanted.

I could say it was what I wanted when I sent him up in space to live, but now.

Now I know that I never want him to be with anyone else.

This anger.

This jealousy.

I've never felt so gross.

I've felt cold. Empty. Evil.

But this was different. It was hot and damp. Like my body was submerged in a humid, sticky forest.

This was my heart being thrown into the air as she dares to touch him in such a loving way.

I felt sick. Weak. Drained.

Like a wilting blood-red flower whose petals burned into grey ash threatening to dissolve.

I hated feeling anything before. Then I grew to love it.

And now, in this current moment, I felt that hatred sneakily come back.