Persphyni: I am Determined

3

"You have to stop pacing. You're just using up all your energy for nothing." I glared at the blonde as I continued past, turning then walking back the way I had come. She scoffed as I ignored her command.

"I told you five minutes ago. I don't know what happened. You and I both know that this is some weird sci-fi shit that happens in fictional stories, so you can't blame me for not knowing why it happened." She continued talking as I continued to burn a path in the floor.

"Pers, come on. You haven't said a word to me yet. You can't seriously be mad at me." I didn't respond. "Oh. Okay. So you are mad at me. For what? Saving your life? Well I'm not sorry, and guess what? We now are the last two people on earth not trapped in a bunker. So whoop-de-do. I saved your life, stop acting like a priss, and get over it." I stopped pacing. My back to Clarke as I took several deep breaths. My hands grasped at the sides of my hips, clutching at nothing but air.

I turned quick. Approaching Clarke fast, my strides eating the floor. The distance between us was less than an inch as I stared down at her.

"You may have saved my life, which I thank you for that. But you forget I have saved yours several times." She gulps air in as I stare into her shaking blue eyes. "You should remember who you are speaking to. It would save us both the trouble of having to remind you." With the lingering threat, I move away from her. Her body jolting away from the burning glare as she makes more space between us.

It was silent for a while. Neither one of us moving as she took in the information. Her heart racing so hard I could hear the thudding from where I stood. She was scared. I knew what she saw. I had seen it in the mirror many times before.

But that's not how I wanted the foreseeable future to be. Her scared because she sees the darkness that patiently sits brewing. Waiting to bubble over.

I was determined to not let that happen.

"Come on. Let's go get the hell out of here. Maybe digging out will let us both blow off some steam." I spoke turning and heading towards the stairs, not bothering to turn and wait. But I heard her behind me.

Several feet behind me.

_______•*•*•*•_______

29 days. That's how long we've been working in silence. Day after day, rock after rock, yet still nothing.

I had tried to speak on occasion to ask her if she needed my help, but she never responded. So I have just stopped bothering to ask.

We started on the debris pile together. Pulling the rocks and chunks of cement out of the way. But now it's just me. Day and night, barely ever resting.

Clarke couldn't be happier when I told her to go and I could handle the debris pile the first day. Even if she didn't verbally express it. I saw the relief in her eyes. It seemed like she was waiting to get away from me. My presence terrifying.

I could feel the dark creeping forward. Becoming braver and bolder everyday.

It was a silent battle. Climbing out of this lab has been rough. Between the physical hardships displayed by my new bruises littering my limbs and the toned muscle that has been strained. The muscle the only thing that stayed. With low to no rations and continuous labor, my body has begun to deteriorate while still maintaining the muscle I already had.

Clarke was better. I made sure she ate even if she wouldn't tell me. When she'd take breaks from helping or when she'd go to sleep, I would check the small cabinet we threw rations in to see she had her fill. Plus, the small snack protein packets I had found, I made sure to leave one out on the counter for her to wake up to.

Almost always I would find the wrappers in the trash at night.

Her cheeks have sunken in a bit and her face has gotten paler, but she's still in a moderately healthy state. At least physically. I can't tell if mentally or emotionally she is okay. Clearly.

But today. The 29th day since I woke up (there was a clock that somehow miraculously had power), today she finally responded to my small talk.

_______•*•*•*•_______

"Clarke!" I shouted, excitement growing as I saw the light through the crack in the debris. "Clarke! It's the top! I-We reached the top!" My voice was hoarse from lack of water and lack of use.

"Clarke!" I grunted as my leg twitched and nearly gave out. "I need help pushing this last piece." I called down, grunting as I strained against the weight of the rock. The last one.

I heard her footsteps run over, the sound of two bags being tossed to the floor before she began to climb up the small mountain I had made out of the rubble.

Once she reached the rock, she squatted down and began to apply force, helping me stand back up and not be as crushed as before.

"Together?" I asked as we both strained against the rock.

"Together."

With discreet smiles on our faces, we both turned towards the rock and pushed. We pushed and pushed until finally, the rock moved out towards the surface and fell backwards onto the outside of the hill.

The sky was blinding, having been in the dimly lit lab for days on end. The light caused us to retreat back down to the bags before we tried to approach the surface again.

But when we did. We did together.

"Clarke." I called out to her as I followed her back down the rubble hill. The blonde stopped at the bags and turned to look up at me as I kept walking towards her. "I'm sorry."

"I wasn't thinking straight and I let myself use it as an excuse to make me in the right. I was in the wrong. We should have had a civil conversation but I couldn't even tell you 'thank you' without sounding angry." I took a breath before I looked upwards to the cloudy sky.

"I sent him up there. And I didn't even tell him. I couldn't. I got choked up. And there's a chance that I never see him again. I was so focused on the fact that I was going to die, that I was supposed to, and I forgot to even consider that I had a chance to fight for my life. For our lives, to make sure we could see everyone again." I turned back to Clarke as she remained silent. Taking it all in.

"I let myself fall back to old habits. Contradicting my belief that I can be perfectly independent without anyone to rely on. But having someone or a group of people to rely on can only make someone stronger. When I went after you the day I woke up, I realized that I have relied on so many key things for a long time." Clarke grabbed a bag making me pause for a moment.

"Truthfully, I don't know why I did it. All I know is that I was fighting with several thoughts and my anger won out. I'm sorry. I don't want that to happen again." Clarke was silent as she grabbed the other bag and just stared at me. I nodded in understanding.

"I guess we can go our separate ways now. You'll probably be headed to Polis for the bunker. When you make it, can you tell them that I went up to space with the rest of the guys. And then of course when they come down you can make up something about how I got sick and-" I was cut off by the impact of a bag hitting my chest.

"I'm going where you're going. We are in this together. We always have been since day one of lock-up, even if it may not have always looked the same. I forgive you. And I'm sorry for snapping. Now let's go. The debris looks like it may want to fall again."

So together, we walked up that pile of debris and finally stepped into the light of day.

My shadow stood waiting and watching from below darkness swirling around as it pondered how to prey on any weakness shown.