Persphyni: I am Determined

51

"Persphyni."

I turned to face him.

"Shut up." I allowed the shock to show on my face to hide the raw emotions bubbling in my chest.

"Don't. Don't do this shit. Not again." His hand rises to his neck and grabs something. "We may have changed in the last six years but not enough that I can't see you. You think you're obligated to make the hard decisions - bear the world alone. But you don't have to. Besides isn't this the harder choice? Sticking together? Finding one another again? Just, don't walk away from me. From us."

I was speechless, my mouth falling open as I went to try to protest. But the words refused to come off my tongue. Because he was right.

"Even through these six years my feelings never wavered. I acted like a fool on one too many occasions and I've been struggling to forgive myself. But I will never ever forgive myself if I let such an amazing, beautiful, strong, passionate, talented, intelligent, brave woman walk out of my life again." He walked towards me with each adjective. Whatever around his neck now grasped in his hands. "I will never forgive myself if I let you go again. I will not let you walk out of here and wait because I want to spend now with you."

My heart swelled as I found myself swooning at his words. Get a grip!

"Pers, I am not letting you walk out of my life. I thought you were dead for six years. I missed six years. I will not miss anymore. I want to be by your side. So please don't walk away." He slowly lowered to his knees. "I'm begging you to stay."

"Bellamy." He cut me off.

"Persphyni. I've fucked up. Over and over again. I've hurt you. On the ship. After the mountain. Before the conclave. Praimfaya. I can't, I won't mess up again. I will not let you walk away. Call me possessive, call me crazy. But, knowing you're alive- Persphyni I need you." I was silent as I looked down at him. His eyes shinning with unshed tears as were mine. He blinked and looked down.

"But I understand if you don't feel the same way. I understand if six years was too long. I understand if you want to start again. I understand if-"

My knees met the metal floor as I grabbed his hands. Effectively cutting him off.

"Clearly you don't understand." I mocked his words from earlier. His soft brown eyes met mine as I smiled.

"I need you too, Bellamy. But you just found out I am alive. Are you sure you're okay just jumping back into us?"

"That should be reason enough to make me kidnap you and run away to a place where we can have our fence. But I need to know if you're okay with it. I've made unwise decisions these past few years. I will understand if you want nothing to do with me once I tell you."

"Is someone dead?" I deadpanned.

"No."

"Are you in a friends with benefits situation?"

"Kinda?"

"Is someone pregnant?"

"Absolutely not!" I blinked. Then I began cracking up.

"What?" He was surprised at my laughter. He had been trying to be sincere and here I was laughing.

"Bellamy, you had no idea i was alive. Yeah it stings cause I'm assuming that it hasn't been officially ended. But I trust you. And after six years I think we both can have grace."

"Wait? Did you do something down he-"

I cut him off by grabbing his shirt collar and tugging him towards me. Hindsight, it wasn't the best thing to do on board an enemy's ship, yet we had all but confessed our undying love for one another so who cares.

I shut him up with my lips as I put all of my emotions into the small action. My sorrow, my pain, my sadness, my insecurities, my fears, my happiness, my joy, my trust, my love. The passion overwhelmed the kiss as he returned it with as much vigor- completely forgetting his question.

His hand slid up to my cheek, tilting my head to match his lips better as the other hand slid around to the small of my back to pull me closer. His hand between my sword and my back as he closed up all the distance.

I was consumed in him. My worries, my doubts they flew away faster than I could blink as my eyes shuttered closed and I focused wholly on the feeling of him.

Six years. Six years I had been away. I wouldn't leave him again. It wasn't worth it. If he was willing to find me again then I was more than willing to meet him in the middle.

As much as I would have loved to make the kiss last, my stamina wore out and I had to part. Our chests heaving up and down as he rested his forehead on mine.

"Bellamy. You're a dumbass. But you're my dumbass." A big beaming grin spread across his face as he suddenly stood up, picking me up with him and spinning us around.

"Thank you. Thank you. Thank you." He whispered happily as I laughed and he finally let me down.

"I should be thanking you." I spoke as I brought a hand up to my neck and felt the small pendant and chain.

"For what?" He asked. "The necklace? I never took it off. I didn't want to lose it." I smiled and shook my head.

"No, but thank you for taking care of it. I should be thanking you because you saved me." I dropped the moon on my chest and looked into his eyes. "In more ways than one."

He smiled and pulled me into a tight hug. One that cocooned me in comfort and warmth.

"I'm a very patient man, Shadow." I grinned and dug my head further into his chest. Recalling the memory from several years ago. (It feels so odd to say that)

"That you are, Fake."

"So... did you?"

"No! It was just Clarke, a child, and me for the last six years. The most action I had was with pillow when I'd drool on it at night."