Last goodbyes

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"What's wrong Jean?" You asked the boy as you were far enough away from everyone else.

"Are you okay with leaving?" He asked as you stared at him, not knowing the answer.

"I'm not." He sighed before taking a step closer to you, you understanding why he wouldn't want to move on.

"(Y/n), why are you so quiet?" He held his head low as you were holding in emotions of your own.

"Me neither." Your voice cracked as Jean put his head on your shoulder.

"I don't want to leave either." You repeated as you felt the boy cry against your shoulder, you crying on his as well as you wrapped your arms around him.

You were the only person Jean was able to express his emotions towards, and having him cry like this was heartbreaking. The reality was hitting you and you didn't want to admit it.

You also knew you and Mikasa would be separating. You wouldn't wake up next to her tomorrow morning. You wouldn't be able to watch her cutely move the bangs out of her face to wipe her eyes when she was tired anymore.

You wanted to tell Mikasa you loved her before you left, but what's the point?

"(Y/n), why won't you stay with me?" Jean asked as you sighed, knowing that it was hard enough for you to decide, but having to tell others was just terrible.

"I want to. I want to stay next to Mikasa, you, Sasha, and everyone. But I want to do what's best for myself." You told him as he wiped at his watery eyes, you forcing yourself to stop crying as well.

"You don't even know how precious you are to me, (y/n)." He said finally as you didn't understand why he was saying such heavy things. It made you more sad than anything.

"You too, Jean." You replied as you hugged him once more, Jean looking rejected as you separated.

"I'll... send you letters... and keep in contact. Okay?" He asked as you nodded.

"Please." You said, hoping the friendship you and Jean shared would last.

"I'll... get going then. I've got more packing to do." He said as he rubbed the back of his neck, proceeding to walk away as you watched him go back to his cabin.

"Rejected, huh." Mikasa took your attention as she stood behind you.

You turned around before having a blush rise to your cheeks.

"What do you mean?" You asked as she gave a sly smile.

"Jean likes you. Have you seriously never known?" She asked as you thought about it. You didn't see anything the two of you did as romantic. You didn't think your relationship was anything more than friendship.

"I don't think he likes me... we're just friends." You told her as she covered her mouth.

"He admitted his feelings there, didn't he?" She asked as you shook your head.

"No! He was just sad about us separating." You told her as she let her hand over her mouth drop to her sides.

"You really are oblivious, (y/n)," she smiled as you pouted.

"I'm not!" You said as Mikasa held her hand out for you to grab.

"Let's go get a drink, c'mon." She said as you held onto her hand, following her lead as she took you towards the fountain in the main building.

"Why do we need to hold hands?" You asked kind of embarrassed that you were doing such a thing with her.

"Because before you know it, we won't be able to do anything together anymore." She said as she led you towards the fountain, you sighing at such sad words.

"I'm going to miss you. A lot." You smiled trying not to tear up.

"I'll miss you too." She responded as she took a drink of water from the fountain.

"I hope we can find out about the titans together. It sounds like a dumb dream of a kid, but we've been so close to answers at how to stop them." You told Mikasa as she nodded.

"They'll take us to different districts, but I still want to be able to see and talk to you." Mikasa smiled as the two of you walked out of the building and back onto the fields where everyone else was waiting with their bags.

'I want to kiss her'
'So so bad'
'Before it's too late'

Time was running out. An hour probably past and it was just a matter of time when the bus would turn the corner and take you away for good.

"Mikasa can we go back to the cabin one last time?" You asked as the girl got up from the ground she was sitting on and walking towards your cabin as you followed her.

"So why'd you want us to come back here?" Mikasa asked as she sat on your bed and not her own. You sat next to her on your own bed.

No lights were on and the only light in the cabin was sunlight passing through the cracks in the wood. It felt calming.

"I don't know." You replied, knowing that this was where the two of you slept next to eachother. Months of sleeping next to this girl and you're only realizing your feelings now.

Yet you're here, nervously sitting next to her debating if you should make a move or not. And SHE called YOU oblivious.

"Mikasa, do you remember the first time we met? You got pissed at Nanaba about your room and not being with Eren then you called her a bitch under your breath." You giggled as she looked at you.

"I was a little mad." She admitted with a smile.

"I'm glad you stayed with me though. Instead of fighting against Nanaba to sleep with Eren." You told her as she nodded.

"I am as well. Not many people can... get me. But you understand." She smiled as it became quiet again.

"ALRIGHT THOSE OF YOU JOINING THE MILITARY POLICE BRIGADE YOUR BUS IS HERE GET YOUR THINGS!" Nanaba screamed as you turned your head to Mikasa quickly before automaticity feeling your eyes water.

You didn't want to feel emotional. You told yourself you wouldn't cry for your own and mikasas sake. But why?

"That's your bus." Mikasa tried to smile with a soft voice.

"I don't..." You began before sniffling a little, Mikasa leaning in and wiping a tear from your eyes.

"Your life is ahead of you. Don't hold back." She smiled as she put her hand to cup your cheek, you snuggling her hand before looking into her eyes.

The dim light in the room wasn't dark enough to the point where you couldn't tell she was crying.

"Don't cry." You said as you put your hand on her cheek to cup her cheek.

"(Y/n)"-

"Shh." You responded as you closed your eyes, leaning towards her before lightly pressing your lips against hers, her soft wet from crying lips tasted like magic. You didn't want this to end.

But you had to go.

"Until next time." You said as you pulled away from the kiss, let go of her cheek, as you got up from your bed, turning around so didn't have to see her face as you walked away.

What did she look like?
How did she feel?

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