Our Destiny - Forever & Always

You're Not Alone

Bucky and Steve had left Wanda alone with Y/N after helping to carry her back to their room. Nobody had said anything, but words weren't needed, Wanda could feel and hear their thoughts clearly, they were all worried that something was wrong with Y/N. 

Sitting on the end of the bed, Wanda looked at Y/N lying there still under the control of the spell that she had cast to render her unconscious. Wanda hated having to use her magic on Y/N but the moment she had walked into that room, she had sensed that Y/N wasn't truly herself and if she hadn't intervened then who knows what damage would have happened. 

"I know I promised a long time ago that I wouldn't do this without your permission, but I need to see what is happening inside your mind Y/N and this is the only way. I'm sorry" Wanda said softly as she moved to sit beside Y/N, lifting her hands to they were positioned either side of Y/N's head. 

Taking a deep breath, Wanda closed her eyes and focused on letting her magic reach out and connect with Y/N's mind. There was a slight resistance but it was nothing that Wanda's power couldn't push through, as she connected with Y/N's mind Wanda instantly felt the whirl wind of extreme emotions that were clouding Y/N's head. 

Wanda struggled to filter through the barrage of memories that rushed at her as she went deeper into Y/N's mind. There was so much that Y/N had gone through and every single one of those memories and feelings were fracturing Y/N's mental stability. Tears stung Wanda's eyes as she felt it all, experiencing every painful and traumatic memory that Y/N had suffered through. 

The amount of loss that Y/N had experienced was more than anyone should suffer in a life time, not just the loss of people she cared about but also the loss of control over her own life during those years with the Red Web. Most people would have fallen apart a long time ago, Wanda didn't know how Y/N had been holding herself together with all of this happening in her head. 

Having seen enough, Wanda broke the connection, moving her hands to wipe the tears from her face. She had seen the moment that Y/N had switched, had felt how Y/N had when she'd heard Yelena tell her what had happened. It had triggered a blackout, Y/N's mind had subconsciously switched back to Agent X programming to protect her from feeling anymore pain. In doing so though it had also unlocked all the rage that Y/N was constantly holding in which had resulted in her attacking Yelena and then Steve and Bucky. 

"Have you undone the spell yet?" Nat's voice came from the doorway. 

"Not yet" Wanda shook her head as she stood up from the bed. 

"Are you okay?" Nat asked seeing that Wanda had been crying. 

"I went into Y/N's mind and before you say anything I know she told me to not do it but I had to find out what was going on" Wanda explained as she paced up and down the length of the room. 

"Actually I'd come here to tell you to do it. But having been in Y/N's mind myself back in Wakanda I know it isn't the easiest place to be, she's got a lot going on in there. Did you figure out what's wrong?" Nat asked as she came over and stopped Wanda from pacing, putting a hand gently on her arm. 

"I never knew how much Y/N was holding in, there's so much she hasn't had time to deal with because it's always been one thing after another, with no break in between. I'm not a doctor but from what I saw, I think she suffered a PTSD episode and her brains response was to default to the Agent X mind conditioning she was put through, to stop herself feeling anymore loss or pain. But that also meant she lost her grip on her anger and rage that she has apparently been holding in all this time without ever telling any of us" Wanda could feel tears threatening to fall again as she spoke to Nat, realising that none of them had ever truly known how much Y/N had been struggling.