In Love With Formula 1

Part 39

I woke up quite early because I had to drive to this park to do the interview, I changed in to some baggy jeans, a crop top and a big flannel shirt, I paired it with my green converse to match a shade of green on the flannel shirt. I quickly had a cup of tea and straightened my hair.

Lando was just getting up as I was about to leave

"Good luck today Iz" He spoke quietly as he walked down the stairs

"Thanks" I said back with a small smile

I wasn't expecting Lando to pull me in to a massive hug but he did, and he kissed the top of my head, I ignored it and tapped him on the back to let him know I needed to be let go of his embrace

"Fuck it" Lando said and before I could reply his lips crashed with mine, I was taken aback by this to start with but then we just ended up making out in the hall. I pulled away and held his face looking at him

"I need to go" 

"Oh yeh, sorry, good luck"

"Thanks" I walked out of the front door and gave him a smile and a thumbs up as I got in my car

I drove to this park about an hour from where I was staying, it was very pretty, typical English village, stream running through it, old stone buildings and narrow roads, lots of green space which was nice, I loved the countryside, growing up I always hated it but I realised it is the best place to be. 

I met up with Jennie outside a coffee shop and we went in and hand a tea and coffee as she went through the plan for the interview. After explaining the plan we walked out and the camera was filming straight away, it was a sunny day so I had this pair of light green sunglasses with me and as I walked out I put them on my face.

We were walking around this village as Jennie asked me some questions about how things are with Lando which I obviously gave very brief answers not really wanting to give away too much.

"So Izzie, with your return to motorsport you have shown great strength in proving you deserve your seat, but mentally it has become apparent you have had your fair share of issues, what do you have to say about that?" Jennie asked me as we sat down on a bench

"Well obviously my return to the sport was accidental really I never meant to get back in to it, but I realised that it was one of the things that helps me mentally, I have struggled with depression and anxiety since I was 12 maybe and as I was getting older, 15 or 16 it got really bad and I spiraled downhill very quickly and visited the hospital multiple times. I'm certain on the fact that mental health, especially in the motorsport world, is important to talk about, in a male dominated industry there are the well too known phrases that men have to be strong, which is false, every ones mental health is important."

"And how would you say you deal with your mental health?"

"I am honestly the worst for it, I have the image around the world that I'm strong and feisty but I am always anxious about things, I carry the 'fake it till you make it' phrase a bit too literally. But there are definitely things that have helped my mental health, like karting for example, it's a time away from my own thoughts, I'm distracted from whatever is going on in the outside world and it's me and the track when I'm karting, it's freeing in a way"

"We know that images have surfaced of you in a bad state as well, was this to do with faking it and it crumbling or is it something different?"

"Those photos are as you know, not my best but I think it's important to show them, to show people that your idols or role models have bad days, I was mentally at rock bottom at that point and seeing how easy it is to fake being stable is so easy, if it's okay for me to say, I have struggled with self harm for years and I was doing well up until that night when I unfortunately broke my streak" I said this looking at all the people around me wondering how they would take the information.