Alive. [Emily Prentiss fan fic]

I Can't.

tw: smut.

Emily pushes me up against the wall of her new apartment and her lips are on mine in a quarter of a second. My hands are on her face and her hands are unbuttoning my top. She pulls away and my body is eager for more, she grabs my hand and leads me to the bedroom; closing the door behind us. I take my shirt and jeans off and she does the same.

"Just this once." I deadpan and she smirks with a nod.

I lay down on her bed and she climbs on top of me, she runs her hands down my body and kisses down my landing strip. A smirk playing on her lips as she does so.

I can see the excitement in her eyes and it's scary. I can tell she's gonna want this again and after what she did last time how can I let that happen?

She brings her face back up to mine and my hands tug on her hair while she pulls my underwear down while we kiss. I moan into her mouth and she does the same. Her body on top of mine, her warmth, it's a familiar feeling. I bring my hands to her back and unlatch her bra. It falls down to her arms and I squeeze her ass. She climbs off of me and pulls her and my underwear completely off. Our legs lock and we grind against each other. My hands rub along her thighs. We both come all over each other. A euphoric feeling falls through the room.

She puts her body up by mine and pulls the comforter over our bodies. Her hands rub my lower abdomen and her breath is felt on my neck. I lay there in the comfort of her arms, of her presence for a few minutes. "I missed this." She whispers in my ear. That was it, she wanted more than I could do again. She wanted what we once had and I can't trust her anymore, I can't be vulnerable like that with her. I don't reply and instead jump out of bed and look around for my clothes. "What're you doing?" She sits up and asks.

I find my shirt, underwear, and socks on the floor. "I'm just going home." I explain calmly.

"I thought you would crash here."

I shake my head and pick up my jeans. "Look Emily, I can't do this." I point at her and back at myself. "I can't do it again."

Her face falls. "I didn't say we had to had to get back together again."

I get dressed. "No I mean anything. I can't cuddle with you in bed, or kiss you, or even converse with you. I just can't fall in love with you again, I can't do it." I deadpan.

She makes a small frown. "You don't have to, we can have something casual. Narrow it down to just the bedroom." She suggests.

I shake my head. "Sorry, can't. I'll get attached." I button up my shirt.

"No you won't. I won't be romantic or cute, i'll barely even talk to you." Emily deadpans.

I furrow my brows. "Why? Why would you do this?"

She bites her lip. "I'm clinging on to any closeness I can get with you. Any ounce of affection I can get."

I button my jeans at my waist. "You don't understand, I can't."

I can see the frustration on her face. "YOU CAN'T WHAT ARIA?!"

"DON'T YELL AT ME." I deadpan loudly.

"I'm sorry." She tells me. I sigh and sit at the end of her bed and she comes to sit by me. "How did we get here?" She asks.

I bite my lip. "I don't know." I did know, I just couldn't say it.

"We were so in love, so infatuated with one another just a year ago."

I turn my head to face hers. "Maybe we just jumped in too quick."

"Or maybe we gave up too quick." She deadpans.

I make eye contact with her. "You cheated."

Her eyes change to the floor. "Yeah I did. I hate it, I hate myself it."

I graze my hand along her leg and squeeze it. "It's okay; right person, wrong time."

She looks back at me. "Will there ever be a better time?"

I smile reassuringly. "Maybe." She smiles back.

"So, casual?" Emily asks with a cheeky smile.

"No, I just think it's better that we move on from what we had, it's for the best." I tell her.

She nods. "One day you'll see that i'm the one for you Ariana Marie Pierce and when that day comes I'll be waiting." She says knowingly.

I make a flat face. "You're gonna be waiting a while."

She flutters her eye lashes. "I have a feeling it will be sooner than you think."

I look at her and then to the floor. Maybe one day. "I'm gonna call Aaron, he can pick me up." I tell her.

Emily shakes her head. "No I can take you home."

"No I just think it's better if he does, wouldn't want me kissing you again." I joke. She fake laughs in response, she didn't think it was funny.

-

I call Aaron, give him the address, and he comes to pick me up. I get into the car already knowing what he's gonna say. "So you wanna tell me how you wound up at Emily's? Did you get lost?" He teases.

"I don't want to talk about it." I deadpan.

"Did you get lost in her bedroom by chance?" He continues.

"Aaron please." I whine.

"It's midnight, we've got a case at 5 am, and I just picked my employee and friend up from my other employees house. I think my questions are justified." He plays.

I roll my eyes. "We've got a case?"

"New Hampshire, prostitutes in an alley." He tells me.

"Great, the usual." I groan.

He looks over at me. "We do a lot of good, even if it's the same thing so much of the time."

I nod. "I know, I just think if you're gonna kill someone, add some spice."

He laughs. "Spice?"

"Yeah! Some paprika or something!" I joke.

He shakes his head and smiles.

-

Aaron picks me up for work, judging as how I left my car at the bau last night. It's 5 am and not even light out. God last night just sounds like a dream, I don't know what possessed me.

I sit in the car. "Hey hey."

"Hello." He states. "You ready to tell me what happened last night?" He asks.

"Y'know, you're still my boss. I could sue you for sexual harassment, constantly talking about my sex life." I scoff.

"You wouldn't dare." He deadpans in a joking way.

I laugh. "Watch me."