Alive. [Emily Prentiss fan fic]

You Said You Loved Me.

tw: break up, cheating, language.
authors note: I listened to keep by mother mother on repeat while I wrote this so I reccomenddd.

I stomp through Emily's apartment and slam the door behind me. She betrayed me, she tore up my heart, and made me regret waking up this morning. She told me I was enough, she told me she loved me. She lied, she's a liar. I run down the stairs and when I reach the bottom I hear someone coming down the steps behind me.

I turn around and there Emily is in a robe. "STOP!" She yells. "Please it's not- it's not what it-"

"ITS NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE?? IT LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE A CHEATING BITCH." I scream.

She shakes her head and she begins to cry. "No, no, no, no, no, no. You've got to forgive me Ari, it's not like that." She begs.

I look her in the eyes, both of us crying. "Go take care of your whore." I deadpan and walk to my car.

Emily sits on the stairs. "I'm sorry." She shouts as I climb into my car.

I put the key in ignition and drive off as fast as I can. Once i'm far enough away I park the car on a strange street. The pain catches up with me and I break. The tears stream from my eyes and my body aches. I mean nothing to her, absolutely nothing. I wasn't enough for her to stay true to, I wasn't enough for her to love.

The image of her in bed with another woman keeps flashing through my mind, no matter how hard I try to black it out. I love Emily and she couldn't return the feeling, maybe if I was good enough in bed or pretty enough. Maybe if I hadn't started therapy or if I was smarter or funnier or more lovable. Maybe if her mom would've liked me she wouldn't have went to someone else. I should've been better, better at everything. It's my fault she cheated and it's my fault she fell out of love with me. I hate myself.

Eventually I pull myself together and go home. I pull on some sweats and a tee shirt and crash into my bed, crying myself to sleep quickly.

- Emily Prentiss' pov:

I don't sleep, I sent Locke home the second I got back up stairs. I must've cried on those steps for an hour, I don't know why she even stayed up there. I started seeing Locke a little bit ago, I met her at a bar one night after Aria and I had gotten into a fight and slept with her. It wasn't even good sex, it was the exhilaration of having a secret that led me to keep doing it. It was a second time after a couple weeks during one of Arianas therapy sessions. Then the next week, and this week Locke had been over at my house 3 times. I love Aria and I hurt her and I didn't even realize that what I was doing would have consequences. I didn't realize I would loose Ariana over this, I should've, I just didn't think about it. I didn't want to be talked out of it.

The light shines brightly through the window in my living room, I haven't entered my bedroom since Aria was in there. I messed up big time. The dark circles and bags around my eyes were sure gonna draw attention to the team but I didn't care, I need to explain myself to Aria. Even if my explanation is nothing other than selfish. I pull on a basic outfit and drive to work, I open the glass doors and immediately start looking for Aria. I don't find her, she must not be here yet, work doesn't start until 8 and it's 7:30; there's still time.