A Bit Of Death

A Broken Promise

Reid's POV
I wake up to noises in the kitchen and groan loudly. Aaron and I slept curled up on the couch, my back aches. I feel him shift and he mumbles still half asleep "spence, what's wrong?"
I whine "my back hurts, the sun is bright, and Emily's being loud".
He runs his hand through my hand chuckles a little saying "aww spence". Then he sits up pulling me with him and says "I guess we have to get up now".
Growing I say "yeah".
We stand up and shuffle to the kitchen and see Emily cooking. With a big smile she says "look whose up". I frown and Aaron and Emily laugh.
Aaron pulls me in for a gently hug and he asks Emily "what are you up too?"
She grins and says "making breakfast, you guys looked so cute and peaceful I figured I make breakfast".
He smiles and "hows the apartment?"
She shrugs and says "it should be done today but they're gonna call me to let me know if it is or isn't down".
He nods and she finishes putting food on the plates and we sit down to eat our meal. We finish up and chat for a little at the table and I space out and stare out the window at the clear summer day.
Not really thinking I say "we should have a barbecue".
Aaron smiles and says "yeah, we could have one sometime this week".
I smile and say "yeah".
Emily says "that sounds like fun".
We all finish up and clear the dishes and then get dress. And we sit down with a calendar and pick a day. Today's Wednesday and so we decide to have the barbecue Saturday. We make a list of people to invite and sit on the couch and send out invitation texts to everyone while Emily helps Aaron make a list of things we need to get at the table. After a while I feel strong arms wrap around my neck and he kisses the top of my head as he leans over the back of the couch.
He whispers "what's taking so long?"
I look up at him shocked and say "what do you mean? You try texting everyone".
He laughs ands says "aww spence, you don't have to do that".
"What? What do you mean? I would you rather have me call them?" I ask him confused.
He shakes his head and says "spence just make a group chat".
I just stare at him shocked and then say "what! Why didn't anyone tell me. You can do that?! Seriously that would have bee so much easier!" He laughs again and I pout and mumble "I only have one person left".
He says "I'm sorry spence" and tries to kiss my check from behind me but I turn my face away. He begs "please forgive me spence". I shake my head and he begs again "please".
I ignore his pleading and say "now, I'm going to finishes send this last one out". He pouts and walks back to Emily. I finish the text and join them at the table. I don't look at him and ask Emily "how's it going?"
Confused she says "good....you guys okay".
I frown and say "no one told me I could just group text everyone".
Emily starts to laugh but I shoot her an upset look and she says "I'm sorry".
I say "you're not the only one" and eye Aaron.
He pouts and says "I said I was sorry".
I shrug and look over their list of things. Aaron looks at the clock and we decided to clean tomorrow and shop Friday. My phone buzzes the rest of the day with everyone saying they can come. I run up stairs to our room to grab my gray zip up hoodie. As I quickly check my hair in the mirror, I freeze. When my hand reach up to brush back my hair and I catch a glimpse of my wrist. My hand drops and I role up my sleeve, I stare at the cuts and I feel the tingling urge to cut. With shaky hands I try to look away but find myself staring in disgust at myself in the mirror. I struggle with getting a blade out and I drop it on the counter. Shaking with terror of myself I twirl the blade in my fingers and debate the idea. Finally I break and draw the blade against my skin pressed down hard. Pain surges through me and it feels beautiful. Realization hits me and I quickly clean the blade and put it away. My hands shake as I stare at the blood flowing from my arm. I made one cut. I'm desperate to make more but I can't do that to Aaron.
His voice breaks my thoughts and I hear him call from down the hall "spence do you want to use my black sweatshirt?" I don't answer him and tears fill my eyes and I shake because I can hear hear his footsteps getting louder. He cautiously asks "spence?" And enters the bedroom. Out of the corner of my eye I see him freeze in the doorway. I cry silently and he stays silent and starts to get out the rubbing alcohol. Gently he takes my wrist in his hands presses the cotton ball with rubbing alcohol on my wrist. I hiss in pain and attempt to jerk my hand back. His grip doesn't faultier and my wrists stays in his grasp. He frowns when the bleeding doesn't slow at all so he wraps it tightly and pulls me into a hug. His body is tense at first and my sobs start to make noise. He hushes me gently rolls my sleep down slides and slides the sweatshirt onto me. He kisses my forehead and say quietly against my skin "you are beautiful". I bury my face in him and cry and he guides me to the bed. I sit on his lap and he rocks me and holds me.
Between sobs I gasp "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry" over and over.
Calmly he says "shhh spence, it's okay, shhh". When I've warn myself out from crying I feel him brush my hair from my face. He mumbles into my hair, "change into comfy clothes and rest okay". He strokes my hair and says "get some sleep spence, I'm gonna talk with Emily about her apartment and then join you up here". I nod and he leaves. I slip on sweatpants, a t-shirt, and Aaron's black hoodie and crawl under the covers. It's only 4:00 but I'm so tired I fall asleep instantly.