A Bit Of Death

The Move

Reid's POV
Thankfully I wore a sweater instead of Hotch's sweatshirt. I give him a small smile when I reach up and get my sweatpants and a t-shirt. I steal his sweatshirt from his bag again and he just chuckles. JJ asks, "what's so funny?"
And Hotch replies, "Spencer is stealing my sweatshirt again" and I give him an innocent look and shrug. I slip into the bathroom and change, I'm the last one to change. First I quickly slip into my sweats and pull off my sweater. I freeze and stare down at the scars in my wrists, I fight back the urge to cut and cry. I'm disgusting. But instead I throw on the shirt and hoodie and hurry back to Hotch and curl up with him.
He goes to ask me what's wrong when I tightly squeeze his arm and whisper, "I'm scared". He tightens his arms around me and I let out a small sigh. I feel safe in his arms, like every nightmare, every unsub, and every inner-demon is gone. The rest of the team looks curious but doesn't say anything.

Hotch's POV
Everyday Reid gets better. Everyday I worry more. I feel so helpless when he's scared, I eventually calm him but I'm still terrified of not being able to save him. It's getting late so the JJ puts in a slow movie and a couple people drift off or fall sleep.
When he's sure everyone is asleep he turns in my grasp and mumbles "How can you love me?"
I freeze and become scared, I hug him tighter and say "how can I not" as I stoke his head, I know he won't except that so I add, "Spence, you are the love of my life. You are beautiful and smart and loving. You are perfect" I look him in the eyes and firmly add "all of you". Then I capture his lips in mine and I become thankful we are the only ones awake. I slowly move my lips against his, the kiss is gentle and filled with passion. His arms wrap around me as my fingers lace into his hair. The kiss deepens, but doesn't become hungry. When we are forced to break for air I press my forehead to his and we breathe the same air with fast breaths. I peck him quickly on the lips before lightly grabbing his chin and tilting his head up so our eyes meet and I say, "don't you ever think for a moment that I don't love you or that you are not worth loving. Without you I have nothing" I see a single tear fall as I finish and I move one hand so I can wipe it away with my thumb. I give him one last short lust-filled kiss before I pull him close and we sleep in each other's arms.

Reid's POV
Someone shakes me awake, I know it's not Hotch because it's a small hand and Hotch would usually kiss me. I open my eyes enough to see Emily and she says, "we'll be landing soon". I feel Hotch move and I know he's partially awake. I fell asleep curled up in his lap so now I'm looking up at him. I know the rest of the team is up, so I glance around to confirm them busily cleaning and packing. I slowly lean up and connect our lips and lightly kiss him.
I whisper, "Aaron the plane will be landing soon" his grip around me tightens as he groans when he tries to open his eyes and adjust to the light. I chuckle and rub his chest soothingly until he is fully awake.
He groans again and gives ups saying "fine, fine, I'll get up". I slip out of his lap and he stands with me, I consider getting coffee but rule it out since I'll probably go to bed when I get to Hotch's. The plane lands and we all grab our bags and Hotch grabs mine because I'm wearing his sweatshirt and a t-shirt that will make the cuts visible if I reach up. I thank him and take my bag from him and then I quickly squeeze his hand before we leave the jet. In the car we ride back to his house and we hold hands as he drives and Emily sits in back and we all quietly talk. When we get back we all go to sleep a little more. Hotch and I drop our bags before I join him in his bed. We both lay on our sides and stare at each other.
Then he says, "would you ever move in?"
At first I'm shocked and speechless and he starts to look a little worried, but I find my voice in time and say "of course".
He gives me a small smile and says quietly, "will you move in?"
I connect our lips for a passionate kiss and then ask "when do I pack?"
He smiles and kisses me again and mumbles "how about tomorrow?" I nod and snuggle into him and he strokes my back and says, "since we have tomorrow off do you want it to be us or do you want the team to help you pack".
I look up at him because my head is on his chest, I let my breath tickle his neck as I respond, "I think the whole team would be fun" he mumbles something that sounds like okay and we fall asleep until morning.
* * *
In the morning I watch Hotch make pancakes and Emily and I sit at the breakfast bar and we all talk. I ask her if she wants to help me pack or check on her apartment. I don't tell her where I'm moving but I'm sure she'll guess, she tells me she'll help out and I thank her and text the team to ask them, everyone says they'll help. At first I'm worried because I've never had someone in my apartment before but I quickly remember why I'm packing and smile. Hotch, Emily, and I arrive a little bit before everyone else, I open the door and Hotch just laughs and says, "I would have never guessed," as he gestures to the books that fill my apartment. I smile and we bring in the boxes.
He looks at me and grins and I immediately ask, "what?"
"I have an empty room that's finished in my basement, I think we should make it a library" he tells me and my face lights up. We hear everyone else arrive and laugh at my books. Then we all grab a box and the packing begins. At lunch we have pizzas dropped off, we all sit around on the furniture that is scattered throughout my living room. Hotch and I decided to keep my furniture because his basement is finished but there's no furniture just a couple empty rooms. Hotch sits in one of the chairs in my living room and I sit on the floor with my back against his legs.
As we eat Garcia asks, "where are you moving to? Like closer to the BAU or somewhere else....?" She trails off at the end, clearly hinting at moving in with Hotch. Hotch and I discussed this morning if we are tell the team or not, we decided if they ask then we'll tell them otherwise we'll keep it to ourselves.
I just grin and say, "somewhere else".
I know Garcia knows what I mean but she want me to say it so she says, "like where?"
I just roll my eyes and say "where do you think" but when she doesn't say anything waiting for me to tell her. I shrug and say, "Aaron's". Everyone smiles and Garcia squeals.
Morgan then says, "I still don't know how you guys are gonna make it through work days" and I look up and give
Hotch a worried look and he frowns slightly and rubs my backs and say, "I'll find a way, and if Strauss finds out we should be fine" he just shrugs and adds "I should have enough dirt on her". Morgan chuckles because he knows about Strauss drinking and I only know because Hotch told me once. We sit there and eat and everything couldn't be better.