A Bit Of Death

Is It Love?

Hotch's POV
I lower Reid into the passengers seat and then buckle him in. As I get into the drivers side I notice his cries slow and he starts to calm down. We drive in silence, I told the team to be at the BAU at 7:15, we have roughly a hour and a half before we have to be at work. I drive in silence until we near the exit to his apartment, I drive right by it.
"Umm Hotch?" Reid says barely audible.
"Yes?"
"My umm apartment?" He says timidly.
"I know you don't want to here this but your hurt and you need help. Let me be there for you" I say, laying my hand on top of his.

Reid's POV
When we reach Hotch's house I try to get out of the car myself. Hotch calls to me to wait, but I don't stop as he rushes over. My legs give the second I put weight on them and I fall. When I land I don't feel cold hard pavement but instead Hotch's warmth. After carrying me inside he doesn't hesitate to lay me down in his bed. He pulls off my shoes along with his own. He quickly discards his jacket and tie, hurriedly moving onto removing my waistcoat and tie. He banishes them to the floor and lays back down with me. "better?" He asks, he was trying to make me comfortable. God I wish I could have him. He wraps his arms around me and I burry my face in his warm chest.
I slowly pull back, just enough so I can look him in the eye and say "thank you" as we lock eyes. We stare deeply into each other's eyes. It feels like the world has frozen around us. Then slowly I moved in and so does he. Our lips meet with a gentle kiss and a billion sparks. His firm lips press against mine moving slowly. Warmth flows through my body making it buzz. My first kiss...with my boss, my crush. He tastes sweet and I become scared. This is my first kiss. What if I do something wrong and scare him away. Then he pulls back.

Hotch's POV
I pull back slowly, I discover a sad look on his face and quickly give him a reassuring kiss. I stare him in the eyes and quietly say "it'll be okay," I know he was scared that he did something wrong and that we could get fired for this. "Don't worry, everything will be okay" I tell him as we exchange another delicious kiss. He kisses back slowly, not a French kiss, just a small kiss. When it ends he pulls away I wrap my arms around him, pulling him close. He nuzzles into me and slowly we fall asleep to the others breathing.

Reid's POV
The same pain as before surges through me. I'm going to die oh god no. Then, I wake up to someone shaking me and calling "Reid wake up. Reid it's just a dream. Hey hey it's me. It's okay. shhh it's okay it's okay" I look up into dark calm eyes. Instantly I remember where I am and what happened a little while ago. I immediately lean up and capture his lips in a reassuring kiss. I kiss him to tell him that I'm okay and to tell myself that I'm safe. I go to ask him the time but he cuts me off before I can finish saying Hotch. "Aaron" he says to me and kisses me gently. Smiling I ask "okay Aaron, care to tell me the time?" He grins at me before saying we should hurry we have to leave in 20 minutes. And even then we will be a little late. I can tell he's been up for a bit because he has changed and and his hair is still wet from the shower. He slowly walks me to the bathroom and the tub is filled with warm water because he knows standing is hard for me even with help. "Call me if you need help...for anything, don't worry" he says before I thank him and give him a small kiss before he closes the door and leaves.
* * *
"Aaron" I call after a while.
I hear him rush to the door and knock asking frantically, "Spencer are you okay?"
I respond in a calm reassuring voice, "yes I'm fine, umm can you get me my suitcase please?"
He says "it's all on the bed, I already washed everything. Do you need help?" I waited a bit thinking, "thank you so much, I should be fine" I tell him. He tells me okay and that I can use the room to change in and then I hear him leave. I clench my jaw in pain as I slowly rise and climb out of the tub. I grip the sink for support before grabbing a towel and and struggling to get to the bed. I collapse on the bed the second I can, but careful to avoid the clean and ironed clothing. I glance at the clock and groan, I have to change, we are already going in late. I hurry and change with pain surging through my body. I make it to the door and manage to open it before I clutch it in pain. All of a sudden the pain increases as a burst shoots through my chest, I immediately let go of the door to wrap my arms tightly around myself. As I let go of the door my legs finally give way and I fall to the ground. The cry of pain I've been holding in escapes me as I collapse. I hear Hotch scream my name and run to me. The burst of pain doesn't stop as I lay curled up on the floor crying. I feel Hotch's strong arms wrap around me. I know we will be even later if I don't pull it together soon so I try to control my sobs. I finally manage to hold my sobs in but my body still shakes uncontrollably with cries and pain. I don't trust my voice, knowing that I'll just start crying again so I nod indicating that we should leave. He nods sadly and carries me to that car. Once he buckles me in I notice he's already made me a coffee and I smile gratefully at him. I kiss him deeply one last time for I know this can't happen at work. Once the kiss ends he smiles sadly and drives off.

Hotch's POV
We arrive late to work. Reid scared me so much this morning. I want to cry when I see him like this but I know I must stay strong for him. I'm never late for work, always early. There is no way people won't question this. I know Reid can't walk on his own, the only time he tried he collapsed and their is no way I believe he made it okay from the tub to the bed. He looks so tired and beat. I won't say anything, I know he doesn't like that he can't do anything on his own. When we pull into the BAU's parking lot I look him in the eye and tell him exactly what I think, I know he already knows but I say it for both of us. "I know you don't like this. You've been through a lot and you need help whether you like it or not. I am here for you and it's nothing to be ashamed of. I also know you don't like being so helpless but so can't keep beating yourself like this. You are hurt and crazy not to take a sick day....I will deal with the team don't worry. Everything will be alright just hold on, okay?"
He smiles at me and nods saying a barely audible "okay". I climb out of the car and open his door, he nods and I help him up slowly. He grips my arm and my side, I wrap an arm around his shoulder and hold his waist and steady him until the elevator. There he slouches into me and I rub his arm calming him because I know he is trying to hold it together and fight the pain. Two floors before ours we start to resume our previous position and right before the door opens I look at him and say "everything will be alright".
Quickly knowing the doors will open, he answers "I know but I'm still scared". Then the doors open.

Reid's POV
I internally groan as the doors open and I tighten my grip on Hotch's arm. I know it's probably hurting him but I can't control it as the pain increases with each step. He opens the door and I squeeze my eyes shut before entering. The team's heads all turn in shock, they try to hide it but do an awful job. Hotch helps me and I thank him and he quickly drops his stuff off in his office before leaving for Strauss's office.