A Bit Of Death

One Chest and Two Wrists

Hotch's POV
We ride home in silence. Emily drives and I sit with Reid in the back. I lean into him and listen to his gentle breathes. When we get home Reid and I slowly make our way up to our room and Prentiss to hers. We change into sweats and Spencer helps me. Quietly he turns to me and slowly unbuttons my shirt and slides it off. He grabs a tee shirt and gentle pulls it over my head. When he finishes he turns to me and we hug. I bury my face into his neck and he rests his head on mine and rubs my back. I breathe in his scent and we stay there for a while. Then he guides me to the bed and we curl up together. I stare into his eyes and and whisper "thank you". He pulls me closer and we drift off to sleep.
* * *
When I wake up I find that Reid is gone and light shining through the crack between the curtains. I can hear two people downstairs taking and I know it's Spence and Emily. I wince as I try to sit up and check my phone. It's the afternoon and Reid's birthday is in two days and jack gets back the next day. I put my phone down and sit on the edge of the bed and debate if standing will hurt. That's when I hear footsteps and Spencer aggressively whisper "one second I'm just checking on him" he's right outside the door. Then he comes in and smiles saying, "well look who's up" I just roll my eyes and he bends down to kiss me before crouching on the floor. He leans on my legs and looks up at me saying, "how are you? Really".
I look at his with a small smile and say "I'll be fine. It feels a bit better". He gives me a suspicious look before standing up, then he places his hands on my shoulders and carefully lays me back down. Then he straddles me and pulls up my shirt and eyes me before tearing the gauze so I don't have to sit up. I can't read his emotion as he stares at my chest.
The tips of his fingers lightly dance across my chest and he mumbles "you need to rest. It's nothing major. With proper care you'll be okay and just a few bruises in a couple days". When he says it it's like he knew what to say and was just reciting it. He doesn't break his stare he just continues to feel my chest. Something's wrong.
I look at him and ask "are you okay". His fingers stop moving and he places his whole hand on my chest. He's shaking. I try to get him to look at me but he won't break his gaze.
In a small voice he says, "I tried. Oh god I tried. I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry. I tried but I don't know. I'm just.... I can't...." He starts to cry and lays down on me careful of my chest. He breaks down and I rub his back trying to sooth him. I manage to get him to stop crying. His body shakes but there's no more tears. He crawls off me and sits on the bed cross legged and keeps his head down and mumbles "sorry".
I wince in pain as I sit up and his head snaps up worried but I hush him and say "I'm fine, I'm fine". I put my hand on the back of his head and pull him in for a gentle kiss. Then with a sad face I realize why he was apologizing. My hand drops to his wrist and I slowly push up him sleeve. It's wrapped in fresh bloody gauze. I slowly unwrap it and mumble "Spence I love you. Why didn't you come to me?"
He doesn't look at me as he chokes out "because you need rest". I freeze and my heart melts for him.
I take his wrist and his the fresh scars before I tilt his head up to look at me and I say, "I don't care, I will be fine only if you are". We help each other stand and we slowly make it to the bathroom.

Reid's POV
I sit on the counter and he stands. I promised him. I'm weak as pathetic and terrified. How can I live with knowing I can't always keep him safe. I realize the if I continue to think like this I'll cry again so I focus on him. Hotch opens the drawer and pulls out some gauze. Quietly he unwraps my other wrist before kissing both of them. Then he slowly takes the gauze and wraps each one. As he finishes he chuckles quietly and says "looks like we both need gauze today" I smile a little I know we're both sad. I slide of the counter and start to wrap his chest slowly. I let my fingers drag over his skin and finish wrapping. Hotch pull down his t-shirt and kisses me. It's not a sloppy kiss but a strong one, filled with passion. It quickens a little before the kiss breaks and he moves to my neck. I breathe fast and moan quietly as he kisses around, once he finds my sweet spot I release a sharp gasp and he starts to nibble and bite as he sucks at my skin. I moan louder but not too much, then we kiss when his work is done. As the kiss deepens I break away and take the lead. I'm a little scared because this is my first time but I try to push the fright away. Cautiously I kiss down his neck and kiss it everywhere lightly sucking. At first I'm scared that I'm doing it wrong but the second I start he starts go quietly moan. After searching a bit I find his sweet spot when he lets out a deep moan. I suck and lightly rub me teeth on his neck and he moans. Then I lightly bite down on the skin and he lets a loud moan escape. When I finish I move back to his lips and we continue the kiss. Finally we stop when Emily calls up "Reid how is he?"
We pull apart breathless and I call down "good, we'll be right down".
Still trying to catch our breathes he says "gosh Spence please tell me that was your first time".
I blush and mumble "I guess I did okay then" he just laughs and pulls me in close. We stay there for a while, just standing there in each others safe arms. When we break it's to help Aaron get dressed. I pick out so black pants and a gray button down. I figure it's easier to get on. I help him out of his t-shirt and help him into the button down.
I button it up for him before I give him a small kiss and say "you should be resting".
He shakes his head and says "you know I can't."
I nod and say "I know but at least take it easy".
He says "okay,...I'm right here" I nods again and bury into him and he hug again. After a moment we decide that we should go downstairs and we slowly break and head down.
Emily smiles at us and says "how are you" to Hotch. He tells her he's good and he sits on the couch. Then Emily and I walk into the kitchen and she's asks me "are you okay".
I realize my eyes are blood shot and I say "yeah I'm good" and start to fix us something to eat. As I work in the kitchen I call through to Hotch, "so Strauss called, she told us not to come in until two but I told her that I don't know if you should" I walk through with sandwiches for us and Emily stays in the kitchen to make something else.
Sitting down with him he says, "did she ask about you being here?"
I nod slowly and say "yeah...I told her I'd offered to stay with you since everyone else had something to do or someone to see. She bought it....I think". I know he wants to go to work so when he asks the time I tell him that it's before two instead of lying. I pause and then say "you want to go, don't you" he nods and I sigh. I leave our sandwiches untouched and tell Emily that we'll go to work with her and then I go to get our bags. I also slip on a waistcoat and head downstairs. I don't bother buttoning it because I know if we want to be on time we should hurry. We through on our coats and quickly head out. As usual Hotch and I ride in back and cuddle, I hate that work keeps us apart. When we pull in he kisses me deeply and we head inside. We all work in the conference room because everyone knows Hotch and I need an excuse to be together. We're last to arrive and so we take seats at the table and everyone goes quiet, I don't even bother fixing my waistcoat or hair. I want to cry and curl into him because I don't think I can handle this but instead I slip my hand into his and lace our fingers together. No one stops staring at us and I can't figure out why. Then it hits me and I squeeze Hotch's hand.
With a concerned look he turns to me and asks "what?"
I mumble "earlier".
Immediately he understands and whispers "oh". My neck has at least three hickeys and he has one. Knowing that we can't cover them with our collars I look at Garcia for some sort of help.
She opens and closes her mouth several times before she says "hang on" and rushes out.
Morgan breaks the silence and chuckles saying "fun time you two".
JJ hits his arm and scolds him saying "don't be mean". Garcia rushes back in I realize the blinds are already closed.
She digs through her makeup bag and pulls out her coverup she goes to me first and reprimands Hotch and I, "you guys have to be more cautious about this stuff. What if someone found out. Our family would be torn" she ramble as she applies the cool substance to the first bruise. A couple people quietly laugh at her and she busies herself with the second one. When she finishes she moves to Hotch and applies some to his and asks "will you guys be around for Reid's birthday?"
I shrug and look at Hotch and he just says "maybe".
Garcia starts to freak out and says "but there's something" and then stops quickly. Then she sits down quietly. I look at where Hotch's hickey was once visible and say "not bad Garcia" she says thanks and we try to work.
After about an hour Strauss enters and asks "how is everyone" and she eyes Hotch and I. Everyone tells her their fine and she sits down at the table to talk. She sits across from us and says "I'm assuming that Reid didn't do such a good job since you are here".
I want to say something but I know better than and let Hotch say "he did well but you know me and work".
She nods and says "that's why I came to check in on everyone". Strauss pauses and then says "something's....off. There's something different" she says eyeing Aaron and I. I start to get worried and I risk taking Hotch's hand under the table and hold it tightly. Finally she says, "if something is happening or different I want to hear about it right away" then she stands to leave and I let go of his hand. At the door she pauses looking at us and then closes the door and leaves. I release a breath I didn't know I was holding and Hotch sighs. Everyone is worried. I slide my chair closer to Hotch's and rest my head on his shoulder. He strokes my hair and kisses my head before checking the clock. We still have three hours.
Then I say quietly "maybe she didn't believe me" and I know everyone heard.
He hushes me and says "hey everything will be okay. You don't know that." I go to protest but he stops me saying, "shhhh it'll be okay. Shhhh" I hide my face from everyone and I know he's worried too. After a bit he finally says "come here" quietly. I slowly move so now I'm sitting on his lap sideways, my movements cause me to wince and everyone's face clouds with concern, Aaron doesn't say anything so I know we'll talk later. I know we shouldn't do this at work or in front of the team but I need this now. He wraps his arms around me and I keep my face buried in his neck. Then he plays with my hair and with the other hand on my back he tries to pull me against his chest. I resist and tell him no and he says "Spence it's fine. Don't worry, I'm okay" but I shake my head and try to tell him no again but he stops me and says "please". I sigh and gently press my side to his chest and relax into him. He looks like it hurt him but he quickly relaxes. I know the team is still watching but I don't care. After a bit I start to drift asleep and I ignore the nagging in the back of my head that tells me not to. I let myself fall asleep in his strong arms.