A Bit Of Death

EXTRA: Haley

*THIS IS ABOUT A YEAR EARLIER ABOUT HALEY AND HOTCH'S DIVORCE*

Hotch's POV
Jack just went to bed and Haley and I sit on the couch, it's all a little tense but I can't be upset, it's my fault. At the dinner table I looked sad as I told her that I have to tell her something. We sit quietly and I don't know if I can't do it. I lean forward onto my knees and put my head in my hands, she rubs my back gently I feel even more guilty. I can't lie to her anymore, but I can't just tell her. Her quiet voice breaks my thoughts and she says "Aaron, please tell me, everything will be okay".
I sigh and speak quietly saying "I've lied" I pause and she looks worried so I try to continue, "I've lied my whole life. I've been scared my whole life". She doesn't say anything. "I love you, I want you to know that but..." I swallow because I've never done this other then in the mirror. "I can't love you that way. Haley...I'm....gay..." I stop and wait in terror I expect her to yell or storm of but instead I feel her arms snake around my tense body.
We stay silent for a while and then she says "it's okay Aaron," shocked I turn my head so I can see her face. She smiles and says "it's okay. I've suspect but I've never said anything. When we go out you always seemed a little distracted, at first I thought you were looking at other women until I realized that you were looking at men. It's okay, I know that people are nervous and scared about coming out, my best friend didn't come out until a year ago because he was afraid of the world. I'm proud of you and yes I love you. However I grew up with my parents telling me to win you over and to marry you and have the perfect family but I feel like we were both forced into this".
I nod and ask her, "then what do we do now?"
She shrugs and says "stay together and fake it forever...or get a divorce and give us both a second chance".
I sigh and say "I want the second chance, but what about jack?"
She says "it will be fine, it's not like we're ending this because we hate each other, I think we can sort this out pretty well". I nod but stay silent. "it's okay Aaron".
I finally manage to speak up and ask "is it okay if I go out for a bit, I need to clear my head".
Nodding Haley says, "Aaron go whatever you want just be careful, we'll talk more tomorrow". I smile and she kisses my forehead and heads upstairs. I look in the mirror before I head out, but I don't look at my face first. Instead I stare at my jeans and gray button down, I finally look at my face. My eyes are bloodshot from the tears I was holding in and the couple the escaped. My hair is messy and I sigh knowing that trying to fix it won't help. I don't grab a jacket, instead I let the cool breeze of the night hit my skin. It's the middle of summer so I don't worry about it getting cold. I get in the car and drive, I eventually find myself at a park, I get out of the car and walk. I walk for a while before I find a bench to sit on. The silence is calming, I feel panicky but I don't know why, my thoughts are broken by the sound of my phone. At first I assume it's Haley but check it otherwise, it's 9:47 and it's not Haley calling. I read the name through the silent tears in my eyes and see that it's Reid. I've always had a crush on him but now might not be the best time to talk. Sighing I decide to answer it because he's never called me so something might be wrong.
I answer and say "Reid, is everything okay?" My voice wobbles a little and I hope he didn't notice.
He answers in a shaky voice and says "I didn't know who to call. I was on the stairs and I don't know I just..."
He starts to break down and I cut him off and say, "hang on, I'm close, I'll be there soon". I hang up and panic fills me. Scared I speed to his building and when I get there I realize I have no way of getting in and I'm assuming he can't buzz me in. My phone buzzed in the car but I didn't read it, I was to worried, now I glance at it and it's from Reid.
It says:
There's two keys taped under the bottom right corner of the cork board
I quickly fumble with the board and grab the keys. I see the stair and immediately think shit, they twist all the way up. The keys has his floor and apartment number on it so I start running up the stairs. I pass the second floor and start to race up the stairs when I stop suddenly when I find Reid collapsed on the staircase at one of the landings.
I mumble "oh god" when I see him laying on the floor. His eyes are closed in pain, and I pull out my phone, I know how much he hates hospitals so I call Haley. I quickly explain to her that Reid is hurt and I'm bringing him home but that's it.
Returning my attention to Reid he manages to ask, "who was that?"
I tell him "Haley" before I lift him off the ground and head out to the car. I lay him carefully down in the back and say "I'm going to grab you clothes okay".
He mumbles, "there's sweats and an outfit on the end of my bed".
I whisper "okay" and run off because I don't want to leave him for too long. I open his apartment door and race to his room and grab the clothes and run out.
When I get in the car and start to drive home he says quietly, "sorry about the mess".
I smile to myself and say "I didn't notice, I was more focused on getting back to the car". I tell him the truth because honestly I barely saw it, my mind was racing so I couldn't really process anything. As I drive I ask him "what happened?"
He waits a little before saying "I was out in the city and I started to get a headache so I decided to go home. I was almost to my apartment when I got a surge of pain and stumbled, that's when I fell down the stairs and called you." He speaks quietly and I know he's in pain.
I don't what to pry to much so I just ask "what hurts?"
I glance at him in the rearer view mirror and see him with his eyes squeezed shut and he says "my knee, I can't tell but I think it's dislocated". I nod and pull into the driveway. Haley comes out and I give her Reid's bag and clothes that I grabbed. I lift him up and carry him to the couch so we can quickly move back and forth from the kitchen.
Gently I set him down and call to Haley, "can you get ice?" I hear her yell something like okay and Reid tries to control his breathing. Haley comes back over and I carefully push up his pant leg so I can easily place the ice down. I smile when I see a dinosaur sock and just a bit of his striped sock and I say "nice socks". He nods in thanks but tries to focus. When I place the ice on his knee he winces, I leave to go into the kitchen as Haley gives him Advil for the pain. Haley comes into the kitchen an we talk a little before she goes to bed. I go back to Reid and help him sit up before I take a seat next to him in a chair.
Not making eye contact I ask "how's your knee?"
Reid says, "better, thank you".
I smile a little an say "anytime".
We sit in silence for a while before he says to me "Hotch". I look up but not enough to meet his gaze and he continues, "are you okay?"
I shrug and lost in thought I say "I don't know?"
"Do you want to talk?" he asks.
Sighing I tell him, "Haley and I are getting a divorce, I don't know, it just didn't work out, we were both forced into marriage". I run my hand through my hair still thinking.
Reid tells me, "Hotch I'm so sorry".
I shake my head and say, "it's okay, we both agreed it wasn't right, she wants it to give us both a second chance...I basically suggested it...or something like that, I'm still trying to take in the fact that she took it so well". I don't know why I'm telling Reid all this but I don't care right now. This night has been insane and we have work tomorrow.
Finally I make eye contact and he says, "I'm here for you no matter what".
I nod and say "thank you Reid, that means a lot to me" and it does but he can't know. I stand up and say "come on, let's get you to bed". Bending over I let him put an arm around my shoulder and I hold his waist and the top of his hand. When he takes his first step he uses me for support and gasps in pain, immediately his free hand covers my hand on his waist and he squeezes gently. His eyes are closed and I can tell he's suffering, I carefully pick him up bridal style and carry him to the guest room. He keeps his eyes closed and tries to hold in sounds of pain. Haley placed his clothes at the end of the bed and I place him sitting on the bed.
He quietly says "thank you".
I give him a small smile and say "no problem...if you need help with anything call me, okay?"
"Okay" he whispers and I leave and close the door. I head back to Haley and I's room and change quickly before I join her in bed.
"Jessica's coming over before you guys leave for work, she used to be a nurse. I asked her if she could come look at Reid's knee" Haley says. I'm not surprised Jessica is doing this, Haley and her sister are both of them are very generous and kind people. "Where did you go?"
I stare at my hands and say "I just drove until I found myself at the park, I walked a bit before I sat at a bench, that's when Reid called, at first I thought it was you calling".
She smiles and says, "it's been one crazy night". I nod nod we both fall asleep.
* * *
In the morning I sleep in a little and so I shower quickly and head downstairs. I walk into the living room holding my jacket and a tie with my shirt buttoned except for a couple at the top. Reid is showered and dressed on the couch and Jessica is looking at his knee, I notice jack quietly watching from a chair. I say good morning to everyone and drape my jacket and tie on the arm of the chair I sat in last night.
Jessica says to Reid and I, "Aaron, you should listen. So it's dislocated but not too bad, you should stay off it for about 4 weeks. I brought crutches for you, keep it elevated and ice it. Take Advil for the pain and let Aaron check on it for about a week" she pauses to pull me so I can clearly see Reid's knee. Pointing at it she says to me, "pay attention to the swelling here, it will be hard for him to do this himself so I want you to do this for him". I watch as she gently massages his knee.
I nod and Haley calls in "you boys better hurry or you'll be late". Reid thanks Haley and Jessica and says by to everyone, giving jack a high five. Jessica gives him the crutches and helps him out quickly. We get to the car and drive off to work.

*A/N THIS ISN'T MENTIONED FOR ABOUT A YEAR DUE TO REID AND HOTCH'S SECRET CRUSHES ON EACH OTHER*