Love vs. Lust
Chapter 18
About a half an hour must have passed when Conner came running through the door.
“Where the fuck have you been!?” He asked looking furious. His voice was so loud and angry that I just burst into tears. I’ve been holding them inside and him screaming at me just pushed me over the edge.
I jumped up from the couch and was about to start running towards the stairs when I felt myself being pulled back.
“I’m sorry, tell me what happened” Conner said sounding really worried as he gave me a quick hug. I didn’t have the strength to argue so instead I just sat back down on the couch. Conner disappeared for a few seconds before returning with a box of tissues. He isn’t usually this sweet and caring so he must have been able to tell that I was really upset.
“Start talking” he instructed as he sat down beside me and handed me a tissue. I took it gratefully and wiped away my tears which didn’t help much, they were soon replaced by new ones.
“Reagan’s pregnant” I blurted out looking up at my brother. He looked shocked and confused at the same time.
“Oh, ok. That sucks for her but why you are so upset about it?” he questioned obviously not putting two and two together.
“It’s Cole’s” I stated looking away. I didn’t want him to see the hurt that was sure to show in my eyes. Conner was silent for a while before he spoke again, I figure he was processing this new information.
“Are you sure?’ He questioned sounding horrified at the idea.
“Yeah, Reagan told me so herself” I answered not really feeling like talking about it anymore. What was left to say anyway?
“Damn” Conner whispered sitting back against the couch.
“I know” I stated going over the events of the day in my head.
“I don’t think Cole knows about it. He was freaking out when he phoned me and told me you had taken off” Conner said still sounding shocked.
“It doesn’t really matter if he knows or not, it doesn’t change anything” I stated numbly before getting up from the couch.
‘I’ll go talk to him, find out what’s really going on” he said getting up as well.
“You can if you want but I don’t care what he says, whatever was between us is over now” I said, the words hurt as they rolled over my tongue.
“Don’t say that Gabby, at least hear what he has to say” Conner begged looking pleadingly at me.
“No, I don’t care. Please just get my stuff and my cell phone while your over there, I’m expecting a call” I said before turning around and heading upstairs.
I locked myself in my room and cried until I ran out of tears. How could I ever have been so stupid? Why did I let myself get involved with Cole when I knew he was a jerk? Show’s you that a person should really listen to your gut instincts sometimes. If I did, I wouldn’t be in this mess.
My eyes felt puffy and sore and my body was starting to ache from just lying there so I got up and took a long hot shower. When I was done I put on my pajamas and got it under my sheets. It was still early but I didn’t care. I was just thankful that my mom wasn’t at home while all of this happened. She got called in to work and was only going to be back late tonight.
At around seven o’clock I started getting really inpatient. Conner had been gone for most of the day and I wished he would come back so that I could get my phone. Sometime after I stopped crying I started looking forward to talking to Gordon. I just hope that by the time Conner got home it wasn’t too late.
When half past seven came I was fed up with waiting so I decided to phone Conner from the home phone and demand that he bring my stuff home. He answered his phone immediately and told me that he was on his way. He arrived a few minutes later.
“Cole is really upset about what happened…” Conner started saying but I cut him off. I didn’t want to hear it. Like I said, it was over between the two of us so it didn’t really matter.
“I don’t care!” I half yelled grabbing my things from him.
“Come on Gabby, you need to hear this” Conner pleaded sounding frustrated.
“No” I stated stubbornly shaking my head. I didn’t want to hear anything he had to say.
“It’s not…” Conner started saying but I cut him off again.
“Shut up!” I yelled feeling tears starting to sting my eyes again.
I didn’t give him time to talk again. I turned around and ran upstairs. When I was safely in my room I locked the door behind me and fell down on my bed crying again while cursing myself for being so stupid. I heard my mom’s car pull up in the driveway but I didn’t bother going downstairs to say hi. I crawled back in under the sheets and was about to close my eyes and try to sleep when my phone rang.
My heart skipped a beat as I realized who it was that might be phoning me. I had no idea why I was reacting that way about a phone call but it didn’t matter. I welcomed the feeling, it was much better then feeling depressed and sad about Cole.
“Hi” I answered hoping that it was Gordon.
“Hi, how’s the ankle?” He asked causing me to smile immediately. I don’t know how he did it but this boy sure had some effect on me. Just hearing his voice made me smile.
“It still hurts but I can walk on it” I answered honestly. My ankle has been paining throughout the day but it was the least of my worries.
“That’s sad” he said jokingly.
“Why?” I asked playing along. He really is strange but it was refreshing.
“Well, I was hoping you would be off your feet for a while so that I could play superhero and give you a ride to school tomorrow” He laughed. I giggled in amusement.
“I might be able to walk but you can still be my hero and give me a lift, I don’t have a car and I don’t feel like driving with my brother” I said honestly. I was going to be avoiding Conner for a while. I know he didn’t do anything wrong but he was already coming up for Cole and I didn’t want to hear any of it.
“Seriously?” He asked sounding surprised.
“Yip, you’ll be my night it shining armor” I replied wondering why he sounded so shocked.
We talked for a while, just joking around and laughing a lot. It was fun talking to him, he made me feel better. When he hung up I missed the sound of his voice immediately. I felt lonely and depressed all by myself with only my thoughts to keep me company.
It took me a while to fall asleep and when I woke up the next morning I still felt like crap. I got dressed in some faded jeans, a pink tank top and pink slip on shoes. I didn’t feel like putting on makeup but my eyes were so puffy and red that I didn’t really have a choice.
Once I was done I looked a bit better, I only hoped that nobody at school noticed that I’ve been crying. I didn’t go downstairs to get breakfast, I just stayed in my room. I didn’t feel like talking to my brother or lying to my mother about what happened over the weekend since she had no idea what was going on.
I heard Cole’s car pull up in the driveway but I didn’t allow myself to look outside. I didn’t want to see him.
“Come on Gabby, were leaving!” Conner called as he ran passed my bedroom door. I didn’t answer him. After about five minutes there was a knock at my door.
“What?” I asked checking my cell phone to see what the time was. There was still plenty time before I would be late.
“Were leaving for school” Conner said sounding irritated.
“Ok, I’ll see you there” I replied trying to stay calm.
“And how exactly do you plan on getting there?” he asked impatiently.
“A friend’s giving me a lift” I replied walking over to the window and looking outside. Cole was staring directly at my window.
“Who?” Conner asked, I could hear he was getting angry. I was still looking outside and saw when Gordon pulled up outside the house. I grabbed my back pack and ran to the door opening it.
“Doesn’t matter, I have to go” I said as I closed my door and ran passed him.