Lisa
AFTER OUR CONFESSION, we decided to stay in the beach side to spend more time together. I guess, the rest of the squad are sleeping since they're all tired. Well, we're tired too. But we just wanted to spend more time together.
"So, Lili, I don't know so much things about you. So if you don't mind. Let's play a game called get to know more each other. Is it okay?" She suddenly asked.
This is it. I need to tell her my past. My real past.
"Alright. I don't mind. You go first. I want to know you better." I said.
"Ahm, it's me who will decide what I should tell you?"
"Anything about you. If you don't mind, we can change that anything to everything." I stated.
"Okay. I'll tell you everything you should know about me. No more hidings and secrets." She said and stopped for a second before she continued.
"I'm not really an only child. I have a brother but he deals with an accident which caused him to have an amnesia. I was just 5 that time. Honestly speaking, I never had a chance to meet my brother. Until that accident happened. My parents said that they decided to let my brother stay in Thailand with my uncle and auntie. So I really never had a chance to meet him until now. I didn't even know his name. I've been longing to see and meet him. It's always my birthday wish. But it didn't happen. It's so sad. I really want to meet him and atleast hug him. I want to see my brother." She sadly said. I caressed her back to comfort her.
"So, who's your first love?" I carefully asked. Well, I'm not expecting that I'm her first love.
"You're my first love, Lili." My eyes widened as I looked at her.
"M-Me? Y-Your f-first love?" I surprisingly asked. She nodded and flashed her gummy smile.
Wow. I didn't expect it. I really didn't expect it. Because she's not my first love. Nor Ten.
"Okay. It's your turn now, Lili. Go and tell me more about yourself." She stated. I let out a deep sigh.
Maybe I should tell her my past now. And you all should know that too. I need to face this.
"In my entire life, I never felt my parent's love. Yes, they're often telling me that they love me. But their actions betrayed their words. My father, even it's really his fault, he will always blame me. One time, he even punched me. Infront of too many people. I'm so embarassed that time. Well, he apologized. But his apology was obviously fake. My mother, I can tell that she's much better than my father. But she's also not treating me better. Even though I only made a very little and not that big mistake, she will really burst into anger and will shout at me all day." I said and stopped for a second and continued my story.
"When I received an award, the highest award, I excitedly showed my trophy and my medal to my parents. I expected that they will be proud of me and will be happy about that. But to my dismay, they only nodded and smiled a little. Not even bothered to utter a single word like congratulations. It hurts like hell. But still, I want to make them proud. That's my dream. To make them proud." I continued.
"Oh. I guess, it's really hard for you. The squad knew it, right?"
"Only Ten, Bam, Jisoo unnie and Rosé knew that." I calmly replied. "Any questions?" I asked trying to sound like I'm not nervous. But I really am.
"Who's your first love?"
That's it. The question I always ignored. But I don't want to hide it to her. I trust her.
"Well, it's not you nor Ten." I said in a flat tone. She furrowed.
"What? Please enlighten me." She said.
"My first love was...Sehun. He's my childhood friend and my bestfriend. He's really a kind and soft-hearted guy. Everything about him is perfect. His personalities, his talents, and even his look. And I love everything about him. So I fell for him. Actually, we fell for each other. We're just on our 3rd year highschool when it happened. He treated me like I'm the most beautiful girl. He made me feel so special. So my feelings for him deepened. And so he was. He was my boyfriend. Our relationship was really strong. My parents didn't give a fuck about it. They just let me. And I already expected that. Just like what I said, my relationship with Sehun was really perfect. Until one day, he just...vanished. No communications with him anymore. He didn't even say a single goodbye on me. And I really didn't know the reason behind it. But that time, I really hated him. I hated him for leaving me without telling me his reasons. I hated him for not letting me talk to him before he left. So I already considered it as our break up. It hurts. It really hurts. That time, I lost my interest on love. That time, I hated being friends with someone. Knowing that they will leave me, too. Just like what Sehun did. Until I met Jisoo unnie, Irene unnie, Seulgi unnie, Sunmi unnie, Wendy unnie, Joy and Yeri on my freshmen days. They brought back the old me. And I'm very thankful. I'm really lucky to have friends like them." I said and let out a small smile.
"I'm sorry."
"No need to be sorry, Nini. Anyway, I trust you so I told you about it. But just don't bring it back again. All the pain will come back again."
"Yeah. I promise." She then flashed her gummy smile. I held her hand and intertwined our fingers. "What if he came back?" She suddenly asked that made me froze.
That's the question I keep asking to myself. What if he came back? What if we meet again? What if my feelings for him came back?
"I...don't know. Just don't mind it, Nini. The important thing is, I love you. Only you." I said and kissed her hand.
I don't want to see him again. Not now that I already love Jennie. Not now. Please. Please.
***
(A/N: SORRY FOR THE SHORT UPDATE. I'LL MAKE IT UP TO YOU. Anyway, stay healthy, everyone! Let's keep on praying! Don't lose hopes. And don't forget to follow me? HAHAHAHA! Well, I already miss JenLisa. I miss seeing Jennie getting jealous and being possessive to Lisa. Anyway, I'm excited! Mark your calendars, everyone. June 26 will be the pre-release of the single. 6PM! I'm too excited already. HOW YOU LIKE THAT? ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ