After that night Felix seemed to a happier brighter person he constantly smiled as he was so content with life and the people in it.
He still wonders how he managed to become friends with Chan again. However he's happy that they are still together because as we've said before...
They're soulmates... they will always find each other and be together... no matter what they are to each other.
Chan was just happy with having Felix around again. He finally had his inspiration back.
Even if he can't touch or take care of the boy, he's learning to love him from 3 steps back as he watches Felix grow.. love... find happiness...
Chan:
Me and the boys all sat and chilled in the studio listening to our new album still hyped about our success.
We were waiting for Seonghwa to turn up and he soon did, but what we didn't realise was that he would be being Felix.
"Hey guys sorry I'm late, this one wanted to tag along"
Seonghwa ruffled Felix's hair as he looked so cute- I shouldn't... I can't.. moving on... moving on.
"Sorry guys. Is it okay if I join?"
Jisung and Changbin instantly reply with a yes and I nod as Felix smiles softly at me.
I watch as Seonghwa goes to sit down but before he did he pulled Felix onto his lap and sat down with the smaller on him.
"Hey~ Seonghwa don't embarrass me~"
I was trying not to coo at Felix as he whined at Seonghwa just like he used to do with me- No.. no I cant keep doing this to myself...
"Alright... but don't think you'll escape me as easily when we get home.."
Seonghwa puts Felix down and flirts with him. I must've been glaring as I felt Changbin hit me on the arm and give me a look of 'calm the fuck down'.
"So are you guys listening to your album? I have to be honest I haven't listened to it yet.."
Felix confessed. His small hand waving about as Jisung scolded him for being such a bad friend.
"I'm sorry~ but now I get to enjoy it with you"
Felix laughed as Jisung punched his arm playfully.
"Okay chan put it on."
"Yeah chan! Put on 'SMILE' Felix would like that one!"
Jisung cheered loudly as I chuckled slightly and as I was about to press play I remembered the song...
Smile is Felix's song... what is he going to do when he finds out that it's his song? Will he be upset? Will he be mad?
"Come on chan! Let me help. Okay and play!"
And suddenly the song began and I felt my heart drop.
I looked at Felix instantly and I watched as he swayed to the acoustic intro with his eyes closed.
But as soon as the lyrics started I watched his eyes open wide and his gaze landed on me.
He looked... hurt...
This isn't what I wanted.. he looked disappointed as he listened to the song. I looked into his eyes and I could just see him trying to figure out his feelings.
"What do you think lix? It's good right?"
Seonghwa asked him and he just nodded and smiled, obviously fake.. but Seonghwa couldn't see that he just carried on as if there wasn't a problem.
"Um s-Seonghwa can you go get me a drink.. I feel a little unwell.."
Felix said and Seonghwa became worried before he nodded and rushed out going to search for a drink for Felix.
"Changbin... Jisung.. can I talk with chan alone?"
Felix turned to the other two and they nodded cautiously before heading out. Now we were felt alone and felix turned to me with crystal tears falling from his eyes.
"I-is this a joke?"
It was a simple question, but it was so hard to answer. He was really hurt..
"Felix.. I-"
"I know I shouldn't get upset... but you promised me that, that song was only for my ears... gosh why am I crying? I shouldn't get so worked up... but chan... it hurts.."
Felix sat on the sofa with his head in his hands. He softly sobbed and I felt guilt take over...
"Felix... I'm sorry, but can I explain.."
I went over to Felix and sat next to the smaller as I rubbed his back.
"Wh-what?"
Felix looked up at me and he had tears streaming down his face. I carefully wiped his eyes as his doe eyes sparkled...
"For our concept we needed to write a live song... I thought and thought for weeks and weeks and I couldn't find any inspiration." After I finished wiping Felix's tears I ruffled his hair. "So I looked at all my old songs.. None of them fit the concept, well that was until I stumbled across your song... and in the moment I didn't think too much... so I just showed it to the boys and they loved it so we recorded... once the album dropped I felt so bad... all I could think of was you. If you were listening.. if the song made you think of me... if you missed me.."
I confessed as Felix looked at me with a stunned expression. His lips parted slightly as I stared at them I found myself getting drawn in by them.
"Channie..." he called my name so gently it made me look into his big eyes. "Please don't.." Felix got up and smiled softly but with sad eyes. "I should go... um.. tell Seonghwa I went home, okay?"
I slowly nod as Felix grabs his bag and leaves. The tension in the room was so thick it made me feel like I couldn't breathe.
"I really need to let go..."
I racked my hands through my hair and pull slightly in frustration...
"Hey I'm back with- huh? Hey... chan where's lix?"
My frustration grew as I heard Seonghwa enter the studio. I know I shouldn't be upset but... but I hate seeing Felix with someone who isn't me!
Fuck I'm being so fucking selfish... but Felix and I are soulmates. We always come back to one another... I can-can't let him be with Seonghwa... I just won't allow it...
I'm sorry Seonghwa, but I'll have to fight you for Felix... and I have all intent of winning...
"He went home.."
I said nonchalantly as I got off the sofa and back to my desk.
"Why? Is he okay?"
"Yeah he seemed alright.. I guess he just got bored"
And if that means lying to you Seonghwa... I'll do it... I'm sorry.
Felix:
Wh-what the hell... is he serious?!
He can't do that... he can't... I won't let him. Gosh I really tricked myself into thinking chan could be normal with me... but he's just being selfish as per usual!
Why can't he see I'm perfectly happy with Seonghwa...
Why can't he let me be happy with the guy I've fallen in love with... I'm sorry if my fucking life doesn't revolve around him anymore...
I should just focus on Seonghwa... I should try though... for Seonghwa. Maybe this was just a slip up? Like he won't do it again, right?
Gosh! This is so annoying!
*ring~ ring~ rin-*
"Hello?"
"Hey lix.. um.. are you at home?"
It was Seonghwa. Aww he's checking up on me. He's so cute~
"Almost, sorry I left early I started feeling even worse... maybe we could hang out tomorrow just us two?"
"You went home because you were sick? Chan said it was because you were bored... lix you don't need to lie to me if you were bored we could've done something different..."
Seonghwa sounded upset, but i was annoyed too. I can't believe chan told him that! Grrr.. he is begging for me to hate him!
"I didn't lie to you Seonghwa.. I don't know why chan would say that..."
"Felix I trust chan.. why would he tell me a lie?"
I was taken back by Seonghwa, he believes chan more than me... his boyfriend... wow..
"Seonghwa I'm your boyfriend you should trust me when I say I didn't lie."
I was now annoyed.. I can't believe he just said that.. but I guess he has known chan longer then me, but still he should trust me. Maybe I should tell him about me and Chan's past..
I mean it's wrong of me to keep it hidden... also it'll give Seonghwa a reason why chan is lying, maybe he doesn't like me anymore and just wants to paint me as a bad person to Seonghwa.
"Seonghwa... if you need a reason.. meet me at my apartment and I tell you. I'll see you later..."
I took a deep breath after the call ended. I was at my apartment and luckily chenle wasn't there which would make this confession a lot easier.
I guess I just need to tell him.. it's no longer fair... he need to know