My only possession (chanlix)

Passing

Chan:

It was like as if we never shared those moments and those touches, kissed, looks.. words... it was like they never happened.

Felix acted as if we never shared the same warmth and as if he never felt that electric pulse run through him the first time we touched...

Those memories didn't exist anymore, it was like it was a fever dream...

But I try not to get taught up in these thoughts, but recently as the months have passed and my feelings for Felix have gradually faded I can't help but sometimes look back to what we were like.

It weird now. We are friends and we play games together and we talk and joke. It's normal...

However I have no complaints. He is still with me. I haven't lost him.

"Chan! Hurry I'm about to start the game!"

And if I'm being honest, he's kind of like a younger brother to me now when I don't get caught in my thoughts.

"Yeah. Yeah I'm coming!"

I grab the controller out of Felix's hand and we start the game.

I was shooting and ducking like crazy. I wanted out team to win. However Felix wasn't playing like he usually does. He seemed pretty zoned out.

"Felix come on! why are you not shooting?"

I nudge him lightly as I kept my eyes on the game. I was so close to winning just one more.

"Yes! Victoryyyy!"

I slam my controller down in triumph as I had just beaten lee Felix at a video game.

"Hey mate. I won! Why aren't you mad? I beat you! Ahha!"

I notice Felix looked out of it. Like he was stuck in his thoughts. He looked saddened and I felt my heart pull myself towards him.

Felix:

Today I woke up and I haven't felt myself all day. I'm not sure whats wrong. I just feel like I'm missing something.

Something important and it's suck in my head.

But I've pushed it away for most of the day and ive been distracting myself by playing games with chan.

"Yeah. Yeah I'm coming!"

Chan came over to where I was and took the controller from me and our hands grazed for a second.. but in the second I felt a wave of electricity flow through me..

He sat next to me giving me little to no space. I felt his elbow gently grind on my leg and every accidental touch made me cheeks heat up.

I was so distracted by him and the way his blonde hair would be occasionally tucked behind his ear to show of his defined jawline and sharp cheekbones.

I examine his whole face and I start to remember the feeling of his warm hands touching my cheeks and how his soft lips would litter my neck with small delicate kisses.

I look down at his neck and...

A-a hickey... it was right there in plain sight.

I didn't know he had someone else...

I look away as I couldn't bare to look at the hickey on his neck anymore. That's where I used to kiss him and that's where my arms uses to lay when we would carry me..

Is he doing all of that with someone new?

"Felix?"

I felt a large hand fall upon my head and stroke my hair. It was so gentle and careful. He stroked me delicately as if I was about to break.