Michael and I hold hands as we wonder around the Children's Museum in Washington.
I grin, "I'm really proud of you, Michael." I softly say to him as cameras continue to flash at us.
Michael smiles widely at me, "Why is that? You're sounding like my mother." He chuckles.
I playfully hit his chest, "I mean it." I giggle.
"You've helped so many children, it's just beautiful.." I say in awe.
Michael smiles, "Well, we're about to have another child to help too. He'll be beautiful." Michael says.
My mouth opens, "Michael, I'm not even pregnant yet!" I giggle.
I look around quickly, making sure the paparazzi didn't hear me.
I lean closer to him.
"And what makes you think it'll be a boy, hm?" I softly say, crossing my arms.
Michael smirks, "We have two girls at home, Mia. I don't care about the gender but a boy would be a nice surprise." He says.
I smile, kissing his lips. Another camera flashes at us. "I just want a healthy baby." I sternly say.
Michael grins, "We can only try." He softly says, our foreheads gently touch.
Michael suddenly steps back away from me. "Hey, the jacket I'm gonna give to Ryan is almost done." Michael blurts.
I smile, "Oh, Ryan's gonna love the jacket!" I say.
Michael grins, "I hope he does. My designers made is special just for him." He proudly says.
I grin. There's this sparkle in his eye when he talks about children, especially Ryan. It's just so beautiful how kind his soul is.. So, so beautiful.
"When are you planning on giving it to him?" I ask.
Michael bites his lip, looking around. "Well.. Whenever it's done we'll go visit him right away."
"We'll? Michael, I don't want to intr-"
Michael interrupts me. "Nonsense, Mia! Ryan loves you!" He chuckles.
I blush.
"I want you by my side everywhere, Mia. Like John and Yoko." He says, wrapping his arm around me.
I furrow my eyebrows, "We're not gonna go naked, right?" I ask.
Michael laughs as his face turns red, "Probably not in public." He mumbles to me.
I cover my mouth as I start to laughing harder.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"It is my pleasure in introducing, Michael Jackson." Another man named Michael softly says into his microphone.
I smile as I watch Michael walk on stage.
The audience starts to clap.
The man reveals the Humanitarian Award.
I grin. This is such a beautiful award. Michael defiantly deserves it.
It has a little Earth on the top of it.
A bunch of oo's are heard from the audience.
"Thank you very much, Michael. Thank you, boy scouts. Thank you, Mia and thank you all." Michael softly says.
Michael grins as he stands next to the other Michael that had gave him the award. They smile together as they start to take pictures.
Michael stares at me, waving his arm for me to walk up there.
I blush as I quickly walk up to him.
Michael kisses my lips gently, wrapping his arm around my waist as we begin to take pictures together.
"Lovely to meet you, Mia." The other Michael says.
I smile, "You too." I shyly say, feeling a bit anxious.
Michael smiles widely at me.
"Congratulations, baby." I say to him.
Michael smiles, pulling me closer to him.
I grin as more cameras start to flash.
I look down and gently fix Michael's jacket, pulling it down a little.
"Hey, Michael!" A reporter calls out.
"Michael, hey! You are the gre-"
"Michael, your cooperation i-"
"Down, down! Bring it down for a second, please!" A lady instructs.
My eyes widen. Who is she talking to? Us? The reporters? My gosh, this is confusing.
Michael holds the award, gently passing it to me.
I smirk as Michael lays is award on my hand.
Oh my god, this is heavy!
I feel my small body go down a little. Michael quickly takes the award away from me as I hear the audience chuckle.
I couldn't help but giggle at myself.
Michael grins at me. He leans closer to me ear.
"I feel more comfortable when you're around me." He whispers.
I blush as Michael leans down for me, "Me too." I whisper back.
Michael grins, kissing my cheek.
"Mr and Mrs Jackson, we should get going now. There is a call waiting for you at the hotel." His bodyguard instructs us.
Michael furrows his eyebrows, looking at me. "We should get going then.. I wasn't expecting any calls." He sternly says to me.
I shrug. "Let's go then, baby." I say, holding onto his hand.
One of his bodyguards holds onto the award as the other makes sure reporters don't trample us.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Michael and I rush into our hotel room as Michael finds a letter on our bed.
Michael quickly scans through the letter. He gasps, quickly grabbing the phone as he dials a number quickly.
I sit next to him, grabbing the note and reading through it.
It's a call from Jeanne, it's about Ryan. Call as soon as possible, Mike.
I gulp, feeling my heart race.
I stare at Michael as I hear the phone ring.
"Hello? Hello, Jeanne?" He panics.
"Hi, yes, this is Michael. I'm so sorry I couldn't answer the phone earlier." He says sincerely.
"Ye-..P-" He stops.
Silence fills the room as I watch Michael's emotions turn from frighten to serious.
"Oh my gosh.." He whispers over the phone.
Michael softly gasps, "I'll take the first flight out there to see him. Mia and I will." He sternly says.
I lean closer to the phone, listening to Jeanne.
"How long will it take you, Michael?" I hear Jeanne ask.
"Two hours." Michael quickly says.
Jeanne sighs, "Michael, don't come, honey. Ryan isn't expected to last two hours. We know how much you and Mia love him." I hear Jeanne softly cry.
I cover my mouth as my eyes water. No, not Ryan.. Oh my god, no!
I sniffle. Michael glances at me, gently placing his hand on my knee as he squeezes it for comfort.
"No, Jeanne. Mia and I will be there. We'll catch a plane right now. We're going to be there." He sternly says.
Michael and I have only been here in Washington for about two days. We barely packed much. We can head out there quickly for sure.
Jeanne sighs, "Okay, we'll see you soon then." She softly says.
Michael nods, "Bye." He quickly says, hanging the phone up.
Michael looks at me. I can't tell how he exactly feels, he still has his sunglasses on.
Michael gulps, clearing his throat. "Um.. You heard all of that, right?" He softly says. I know he doesn't want to repeat it.
I nod.
Michael bites his lip.
I gently rub his arm. "You get a plane for us and I'll start packing." I tell him.
Michael nods, "Okay." He whispers.
I nod, quickly getting up.
I hear Michael clears his throat again as I start to pack our clothes.
"I got a call saying that Ryan wasn't doing so well a few days ago." He admits.
My eyes widen as I glance at him.
"W-We were busy with all the children, Mia. So we couldn't have visited then. Elton John was with him at the time and Ryan was too weak to even hold the phone. I heard Elton say to Ryan, 'You can't turn down a superstar like this. I'm grade B compared to Michael.'" He says softly chuckling.
He clears his throat. "I-I just kept encouraging Ryan.. I told him don't give up, you can do it. No matter what happens, you're going to be okay." Michael's voice cracks as he gently lays a fist over his lips.
"Don't even feel guilty about that, Michael. Ryan knows you're a busy man, he still loves you." I sternly tell him.
I hear Michael take in a sharp amount of air. As he exhales, I hear him whimper.
He puts his fist down. "He can't die, Mia. H-He just.." Michael starts to cry.
"He's a good friend of mine, Mia. Ryan is such an amazing boy, he still has a future ahead of him!" He cries out.
I bite my lip as I turn around.
I hug Michael tightly. "Shh..." I touch his hair.
Michael cries harder on my shoulder.
"I know this isn't an ending you want but it's a ending we all knew about, baby. It hurts and it will hurt but Ryan knows you love him. We don't want him to suffer anymore, right?" I coo.
"Yeah.." Michael squeaks.
"It's a suffering infection and Ryan has gone through so many ups and downs because of it. Don't think about the negatives, okay? Think about the positives." My voice cracks as I slowly start to cry.
Michael looks at me.
I slowly take his glasses off.
Michael sniffles as I stare into his eyes. His eyeliner is messed up from the tears. I just see so much sadness in Michael right now, I hate it. I hate seeing him this way. He helps so many children and some just really get to him.. Michael and Ryan are best friends. This...
I hate seeing my husband cry.
Michael gently holds onto my hand, "Thank you." He whispers.
I shake my head. "I've got the jacket in my bag." I say.
Michael's eyes widen, "Wha- How?" He asks me, furrowing his eyebrows.
"Your designer called, they got done with it early. I picked it up on our way here to Washington. We'll give it to Ryan, okay?" I softly say to him, caressing his face.
Michael gulps, nodding.
I weakly smile, "Let's get going then." I sigh.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Michael and I rush into the Riley Hospital for Children in Indiana.
Michael holds onto the jacket tightly in one hand and onto my hand in the other.
We run through the hallways, looking for the room number of Ryan's room.
Paparazzi didn't get us this time. Thank God..
Michael slows down as we reach his floor.
I bite my lip as I see Jeanne and Andrea, Ryan's sister, hold onto each other as they cry loudly.
I gasp. "Oh my gosh." I whisper, covering my mouth.
Michael drags me along with him as we run to the end of the hallway, reaching his room.
"Jeanne?" I raise an eyebrow, feeling my eyes suddenly water.
Jeanne looks at me with lost eyes, "I-..He's-" Her breathing fastens.
I bite my lip as I start to cry.
Michael glances at us but walks into Ryan's room anyway.
I slowly follow Michael into Ryan's room, peaking in on them.
Michael takes his sunglasses off, placing them in his pocket.
"Oh, Ryan.." Michael cries, covering his mouth.
A doctor walks behind Michael.
Michael stares at his radio as Man In The Mirror blasts through the silent room.
The doctor gently places a hand on his shoulder.
"I was the last person Ryan heard?" Michael's voice softly asks.
The doctor nods, "We kept playing the song over and over for him. It's one of Ryan's favorite." The doctor weakly smiles.
Michael wipes his eyes, not caring about his eyeliner.
Michael glances over at me, slowly walking towards me.
Michael walks past me, walking towards Jeanne. "This is for him.." He softly says, handing Jeanne the jacket.
Jeanne gulps, staring at the jacket. "Ryan would've loved it." She quietly says.
She looks up at him, "Thank you for everything." She whispers.
Michael nods, hugging Jeanne tightly.
"Ryan was a beautiful boy." He sniffles.
Jeanne cries in his arms.
I bite my lip, covering my mouth.
Jeanne slowly lets go of Michael. "Would you like to come over later? Perhaps you could help us move some things or-"
"I'd love to." Michael softly says, holding onto her hands.
I slowly walk up to them. "I'm sorry for your loss, Jeanne." I softly say.
Jeanne weakly smiles, "He really looked up to you both." She says.
My eyes widen, "Me?" I softly say.
Jeanne nods, "You're fighting the same infection as him, Mia. You showed him to be strong and that it's okay to fall down at times." She says.
I gulp, "O-Oh.." I softly say, feeling myself shake a little.
Ryan and I have only met once and he looked up to me? I truly wish I could've gotten to know Ryan more just like Michael. Ryan was such a sweetheart and he was so tough. It's obvious that he was trying very hard in the end.
Jeanne frowns, "I just can't believe my boy is gone.." She whimpers, covering her face as she starts to cry.
I bite my lip as Michael hugs Jeanne and Andrea.
It's the worst thing in the world to lose a child. I know that from experience. It's the worst damn thing to feel because that child was apart of you. When God just suddenly takes an angel like that..
Even going through it before, I can't imagine going through it again. I know Ryan will be looking down on us, just like Mike and our other baby girl, Diamond May.
I'll be with them one day.. We all will.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I stand next to Michael as we just stare at all the things in Ryan's room.
We've been in here for a few hours now. Michael hasn't said a word.
Posters cover his walls, mostly of cars, his toys are all neatly on a shelf and his bed is neatly made.
Michael slowly opens the closet, staring at his clothes.
I glance in the closet. There's the heavy new leather jacket Michael wanted him to wear.
A soft knock echos in the empty room.
Michael and I turn around, watching Jeanne slowly walk into Ryan's room.
"Do you want any of Ryan's things? You know, as a keepsake?" Jeanne offers.
I glance at Michael.
Michael quickly shakes his head, "No." He simply says.
"Would you please leave his room just as it is?" He kindly asks her.
Jeanne nods, "Of course, Michael." She quietly says.
I bite my lip.
Andrea walks into the room, "Michael, I want to show you something." She says, taking a hold of Michael's hand.
Michael weakly smiles as he takes a hold of my hand as well.
A hand train.
Andrea leads us outside to their front yard where sat the red Mustang Michael had given Ryan.
It was now covered with flowers and Easter eggs, gifts from the children in the neighborhood.
We all slowly got into the car, sitting down one-by-one.
I sat in the back so I wouldn't invade their conversation.
Michael turns the cassette player on as Man In The Mirror instantly starts playing.
My heart warms up a little. He really did like that song.
A small smile shows up on Michael's face. I could tell it was a proud smile. He knew he was defiantly the last person he heard from.
I gently lay my head on Michael's shoulder as we all start to smile to the song.
I'm starting with the Man In The Mirror!
I'm asking him to change his ways!
And no message could've been any clearer!
If ya wanna make the world a better place, take a look at yourself and then make that change!
Na na na, na na na, na na na na na.. Uh-Huh.
Every penny from this song all went to charity. It's a good song with a great message. It just shows what kind of person Ryan White was.
A beautiful one.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Rest in Peace,
Ryan White
December 6th 1971- April 8th, 1990