Once I finished typing, I couldn't help but feel nervous. What if he found out that it was him? What if he doesn't feel the same? Fuck it! He probably won't since he has a girlfriend! I sighed and ran a hand through my hair. I glanced at the clock beside me, watching as it showed the numbers "6:07" in red lights. The puffiness and the redness from my eyes and nose has gone down and it was still too early to go to sleep so I slipped out of my shorts and put on a pair of black leggings. I wore a pair of black combat boots and grabbed my phone and wallet.
"Hey y/n!" My roommate, y/bff/n greeted when I went out of my room. "Wanna go get dinner?"
"Sure. Was planning on going on a walk anyway." I said, giving her a small smile.
"Is something wrong?"
"No, why do you ask?"
"You're usually the type to just stay in her room unless she's hungry or something's bothering her. "
"It's kind of a long story."
"Well, the walk to the nearest Japanese restaurant probably takes around ten minutes. I think that's enough time for you to tell me what happened."
I nodded and made my way to the door with her following beside me. So I told her everything. She knew how I felt for Shawn in the first place. I spilled about the fact that I'm jealous of Camila, how she gets his undivided attention, how he would gladly blow everything off for her. I guess I'm just bitter since that used to be me. Back before they got together, just a text from me and he will stop doing what he is doing just to be there for me.
"I think it's pretty normal to be jealous." She stated, taking a sip of her red iced tea. "You were used to getting his attention. The fact that he has a girlfriend may seem off for now but it will get better."
"Y/bff/n, they've been together for a year now. If things were to get better, it should be better now." I muttered, pushing around the piece of tempura around the bowl with the chopstick.
"Stop being so negative about it. Even if he makes time for her, it doesn't mean that he has forgotten you completely. I mean, you guys are always partners in class, even if she's in that subject. He tries to make things up to you every once in a while. Y/n, he loves you. He would never hurt you on purpose."
I stayed quiet, picking up a piece of gyoza. After dinner, I couldn't help but replay what she said in my mind. In fact, I was so caught up in my thoughts to the point that I bumped into a hard build and sent both of us to the ground with a grunt.
"Are you okay?" The guy asked, standing up and helping me up.
"Yes, thank you. I'm so sorry for bumping into you. I was just... Lost in thought, I guess." I said, as we both brushed the dust off off our clothes.
"It's okay, it's really my fault though. I didn't bother looking up from my phone."
He gave me a small, apologetic smile which I couldn't help but return. I took that moment to really look at him. His jaw was definitely well defined. His eyes seemed to be green yet looking into them, you cannot help but think that they may also be blue. He also had brown, messy hair and a bit of facial hair.
"I'm Griffin, by the way." He said, shyly sticking his hand out for me to shake. "Griffin Johnson." (Don't judge 😂 Kinda into the whole Tiktok eBoy vibe atm. I also kinda think he's really nice to look at 😂)
"Y/n." I said, taking his hand in mine as heat rushed through my cheeks at the contact. "Y/n y/l/n."
*A few weeks later*
I leaned against the wall to the auditorium as I watched the people around me with the latest issue of the school's publication in their hands. I internally sighed, praying and hoping he wouldn't read what I wrote or at least, he wouldn't realize that it was about him. I pushed myself off the wall and walked the stone path to the cafeteria. However, only after a few steps, I heard my name get called.
"Y/n, wait!" Shawn yelled, panting as he eventually made his way in front of me.
"Shawn." I nodded in acknowledgement. "What's up?"
"What did you mean in that article?"
I am not exaggerating when I say that my entire body went cold. If it weren't for the makeup I was wearing, I'm pretty sure I just turned as pale as a dead body. I swallowed heavily and took a deep breath before doing the best I could do to play dumb.
"Huh?"
"Don't play dumb with me. Please, explain."
"I don't know what you're talking about, Shawn."
"Then let me read what you wrote to you."
He grabbed the rolled up newsletter from the pocket of his backpack and opened it to the page of the article. He cleared his throat and shakily ran his hand through his soft, brown hair before speaking.
"Falling in love is not easy especially when you are afraid to take risks. After all, once you admit, you would never know how it would end up. You may either lose such an amazing friendship or maybe he would be yours. I personally want to get everything off my chest but I do not want to change things between us, or make things worse. I mean, what else could happen once you fall for your best friend?
And yes, you read that right. Just like in every movie, every story with a boy-girl friendship, it has happened. Cliche, I know but can you really help who you fall for? Such a pathetic excuse for a series of chemical reactions in your brain that affects your entire body however, if you experienced how he treats his girl best friend, who wouldn't fall for him?
He's the type to carry your bag once you're together, never really caring what it makes him look like or even how much you protest. He will get it from you as soon as you step out of the classroom and would not give it back unless you will both split ways. He's also the one that checks up on you no matter how busy he is. He will randomly hit you up just to see if you're doing well, sometimes even appear at your door at thee in the morning just to talk. He would even ask you if you have eaten or if you took your medicine and take care of you when you're sick as hell.
Other than that, he would be the one to make sure you are safe. He is always hesitant to leave you at the mall when you are hanging out in case something goes bad happens when he's in the bathroom or buying food. He always makes sure to bring you to your doorstep and sometimes, he would hold your hand when crossing the street.
The list honestly goes on. He's basically the definition of an ideal man. However, he's not mine and will never be mine. Why? Well, just like in those cliche stories, I'm just his best friend. Nothing will change. Even if there is slight possibility that he may feel the same, there is still the biggest wall between us. He has a girlfriend.
I'm his best friend, I should be happy for the fact that he found someone like her in his life, someone to make him happy, to be there for him, to share his future with. Some would say that I could still do that for him, even as just his best friend but at times, it feels as if I have been replaced and forgotten.
Nowadays, he would drop everything for her like he used to do for his best friend. We could be in the middle of a good, deep conversation but once she calls, he's out the door. He would occasionally promise me that he will make up for it but he never does because the next time we're together, he will do it all over again. He does everything we used to do to her and has completely left me in the shadows of their relationship and only comes to me when he needs something or when they have a huge disagreement.
Can I blame him? She's his priority now. She's the one who completes him. I was so used to having him around, to being the closest he could get to a girlfriend to the point that it just hurts seeing him with her or hearing him talk about her. All those years of being his best friend, gone within a year or so of them dating. I should be happy for him. I mean, he's still my friend. Just my friend. He's not mine and he never will be. But does that stop me from always being there for him and for loving him at his lowest? Definitely not."
I merely looked at the ground as he finished, his voice cracking near the end. I heard him drop the paper onto the floor before pulling me in his arms. I pressed my forehead against his chest as he held me as close as he could to him.
"Why didn't you tell me you felt this way?" He uttered shakily, as if he was trying not to cry as well.
"Because I knew I could never stand a chance against her." I replied, blinking away the tears forming in my eyes. "Because I knew that it could ruin our friendship. Because I knew that I didn't have the right to complain."
"I... I love you. I just didn't want to ruin our friendship but it has always been you."
I pulled away slightly and looked at him dead in the eyes. He leaned down and pressed his lips against mine. In the moment of shock, I kissed back before realizing how this goes against everything that may be considered right. So I closed my eyes to savor the moment before pulling away and taking a step back.
"Shawn, no. We shouldn't do this." I said, bringing a hand up to wipe a stray tear from my cheek. "You have a girlfriend. I've said that several times in that article and I've said it even more times to myself. I love you but you have her."
"I know but... I would gladly give her up for you." He muttered. "I love you. If I have to scream that out for the world to hear, I would."
"No. Please. Don't let me be the one who gets in the way of both of you."
"You won't. I can't keep pretending as if what I feel for her is any way close to how strongly I feel for you."
I placed a hand on his cheek, watching as he leaned against it. I gave him a sad smile before kissing his other cheek lightly. "If it's meant to be, it will happen but for now, I guess it's better to just stay as friends. I don't want you to end your other relationships because of me."
"I will always choose you."
"You should be with her, I can't compete."
I turned around and walked away, taking a deep breath to stop myself from crying. I wiped my cheeks from any stray tear. I paused for a little, trying to recover from what just happened. I was about to take a sharp turn yet I hit someone on the way... again.
"I'm sorry." I muttered, silently thankful that whoever I hit had stopped me from falling by holding onto my elbows.
"Hey, are you okay?" A familiar voice asked, making me look up. "You know, we really should stop meeting this way."
"Griffin? I didn't know you went here."
"Didn't know you go to school here either. What course and year are you in?"
"Um... freshman in Accountancy. You?"
"Second year, taking up Nursing."
"Again, sorry for bumping into you for the second time this month." I said, chuckling nervously as he gave me a breathtaking smile.
"Keep bumping into me like that and I might fall for you." He said, winking before laughing at himself.
"More like the other way around, actually."
"Hey, but at least you know that I'll be there to catch you. By the way, do you still have class?"
"Um... No, why?"
"Wanna go grab dinner together? I mean, only if you want to. I just kinda want to get to know you more."
"Sure."
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A/N: I'm sorry if this isn't that good. I was just kinda inspired by the movie Meet Me In St. Gallen. It's basically in line with the saying "Pinagtagpo pero 'di tinadhana" wherein you meet someone along the way where you both feel something for each other but in the end, you're not destined to be with each other. Thus the reason why I kind of inserted Griffin into the plot. Also, I'm supposed to be studying for my Law exam this Thursday but after today's Basic Accounting exam, I just kinda need to rest for a bit so HERE YA GOOO! 😂
Also, here's how Griffin looks like for those who don't know him. Personally not a big fan of TikTok but I came across one of his posts on my IG and I found him cute sooo 🤷♀️😜
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