{Our love was a two-person game. At least until one of us died, and the other became a murderer- Dark Jar Tin Zoo, Love Quotes for the Ages. Specifically Ages 19-91}
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Chapter song:
Jaymes Young - What Is Love (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IRHYazTx8uY)
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Previously:
- I began walking into the cave slowly afraid of what might happen
- Come little children, I'll take thee away
- The book
- First lost girl...Pure blood...Love
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Third POV:
"C-Clara...what are you doing here?" Pan asked stunned. Someone had knocked on his room door and when he opened it, he saw Clara. She had very puffy eyes, with blackness under them. She obviously cried nonstop, you can tell from how red her eyes were and the skin on her nose pealing probably from the use of too many napkins.
Clara looked at Pan with her mouth slightly opened and her eyes staring at his, not blinking. She walked past him to enter his room. Pan closed the door and turned around to find Clara already standing still and staring at him. She blinked a couple of times quickly causing tears to slide across her cheeks, tears she was trying to keep in.
Pan noticed her hands were behind her back. What was she hiding?
"This" Clara said as she removed her hands, showing a book. The book. "Incase you were wondering" Clara continued. She figured he was probably curious for he was examining her hands
Pan looked at her stunned, frozen in his place. How did she-"how did you get that?" Pan asked pointing at it. He didn't dare to remove his gaze from the book.
"Astonishing right?" She smirked as she looked at the book then Pan again
"Clara" Pan said with a threatening tone as he stared at her
She didn't answer; she just looked at him while raising her eyebrow.
"WHERE DID YOU FIND THAT?" He yelled.
"NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS" She yelled back
"WHERE?"
"GO DIE!"
"TELL ME!!!"
"I WENT TO THE CAVE" Clara yelled making Pan speechless. He was confused. How? When? It can't be.
"That's-that's impossible, no one can go there but me" he said while stuttering.
"Well I did"
"But it's hidden, so was the box, the treasure, and the book, how did you.....?" He didn't even know the right question to ask. He just ran both hands through his hair trying to figure out how this is exactly possible.
"None of your business" Clara said. "What matters now is that I know everything, every single detail"
Now he's in trouble. Pan backed a step away and gulped.
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Peter and Clara have been fighting for who knows how long. Clara was tired, tired of him and all the lies. All they have been doing is standing in front of each other screaming their lungs out.
"YOU USED ME!" Clara yelled
"It was by accident!" Pan said
"You brought me here by accident? You made me suffer by accident? You made me a lost girl by accident? That's kinda hard to believe" she said pointing at herself
"WHY WON'T YOU LISTEN" Pan yelled
"LISTEN TO YOU? I stopped believing every single bullshit that came out of your mouth the minute I found out the truth" she said pointing at him this time
"But this is the truth Clara, what I am saying"
"So you're saying everything said about me in the book is a lie?" Clara asked testing him. Pan stayed quiet not sure what to say."I knew it...you played me like a chew toy" She said as she rubbed her temples
"Clara please"
"You can't convince me this is all nothing but a lie, I read the book; you can't fool me now." She said raising the book mid-way.
Pan began feeling too ashamed. He wasn't even able to look at her, seeing the pain he caused her in her eyes.
"You were, correction, are...too obsessed with power that you didn't even consider other people's feelings. The book said someday we would cross paths and fall in love, and love is weakness. You couldn't bear the thought of being powerless and weak so you decided to bring me here and treat me horribly, to turn me into one of your lost boys and not even consider the idea of love, so I could be one of your minions"
"Tell me, did you feel like a minion?" He asked testing her
"Well you know what...I didn't before but after knowing everything I guess I was after all. I was exactly where you wanted me to be. You played me"
"IT WAS A MISTAKE"
"IT WASNT A MISTAKE, IT WAS A CHOICE"
"Clara-"
"I CANT DO THIS ANYM-I can't" Clara yelled but eventually whispered because of how tired she was. She almost dropped on her knees but she managed to keep steady by holding onto the small wooden table next to Pan's bed. She wasn't just physically tired, but also mentally and emotionally.
"What?" Pan whispered afraid of what she could possibly mean
"I can't do this anymore" she cried. Pan looked at Clara, his eyes opened wide, his face turned completely white, and every bit of anger in him was gone. He turned around so now his back is facing Clara. He didn't want her to notice the change in his face expression.
"What do you mean?" Pan asked
"I DONT WANNA EVER SEE YOU AGAIN" Clara screamed pointing at him even though he couldn't see her. Pan's body stiffed at Clara's words. He began turning around slowly afraid of looking at the person who hated him. Clara's words pierced his heart and left nothing but scars and open wounds.
"Don't say that" Pan said as he bit down on his bottom lip. He felt hurt, real hurt. And he knew this time he couldn't change it or help Clara because he is the one who created the pain, it was him.
"Don't say what?" Clara whispered in pain, "Don't say the truth? AT LEAST I CAN SAY THE TRUTH"
"I DID NOT LIE" Pan screamed as he paced towards her two steps quickly
"Of course you didn't" Clara scuffed sarcastically
"Clara please, just calm down" Pan said as he raised his hands in surrender
"Calm down? I have been lied to...I have been mistreated, I have been played and I have been a prisoner"
"I...I-"
"I want to be free" she said through sobs.
"You can be free Clara, you can...with me" Pan said pointing at himself
"With you?" Clara asked stunned. "How can I be free with the same person that is keeping me a prisoner?" She continued. Now Pan knew who he was to her, he was the one who captured her, the one who imprisoned her, nothing more and nothing less.
"Clara please-" Pan tried grabbing Clara's hand but she quickly moved it away.
"Don't touch me" she spat in utter disgust
"I-I am sorry Clara"
"Sorry you lied or sorry you got caught?" Clara asked. Pan sighed. "S-sorry I lied"
"Ya right" Clara laughed "you're just saying what I want to hear, coward".
"I am not going to stand here and listen to you call me a coward and a liar" Pan raised his voice
"Well you ARE a coward and a liar, aren't you?" Clara spat. Pan moved aside and opened his room door ready to leave.
"Are you serious? You are just going to walk out on this conversation just like you walk out on everyone else?" Clara said making Pan stop in his tracks.
"I did not walk out on you" he said as he slammed the door shut and turned around to face her.
"No, but you did walk over me" Clara said calmly and Pan hated that. He hated when Clara would confront him calmly, as if he wasn't worth the yelling anymore. He felt like Clara didn't feel anything towards him anymore. Not hate, not love, or anger nor sadness. She was numb, completely numb, and it was entirely his fault.
Clara noticed how awful Pan looked. He looked horrible, like someone had taken all the happiness from him. Clara wasn't ready to feel sympathy towards him, not after what he had done, not after he took her happiness. She wasn't ready to feel sorry for him, to feel anything...anymore.
"What are you thinking?" Pan asked as he noticed she was deep in thought
"I am not thinking of anything" She barely answered
"Please, don't do this"
"I am not thinking of anything...I am not feeling anything...it's all because of you"
"I wanted you to become lost, to be like one of the boys, not hurt"
"Right...you know what Pan, I look at you and all I see is a masquerade mask. I never know who you actually are, I turn around and you're a completely different person"
"I am still the Pan you know-"
"I never knew you"
"I am still the same person"
"You are not the same person I thought you were, you betrayed me"
"I-I"
"ALL PEOPLE DO IS BETRAY ME AND HERE YOU GO AGAIN"
"IT WAS NEVER MEANT TO HAPPEN THIS WAY"
"BUT IT DID"
"Please forgive me"
"YOU HURT ME, YOU PLAYED ME"
"Calm down"
"I WAS NOTHING TO YOU"
"Stop screaming"
"I WAS JUST A GAME"
"C-C-Clara CLARA STOP SCREAMING CLARAA" Pan immediately ran up to Clara and held both her wrists to stop her from moving.
"LET ME GO" she screamed repeatedly. Pan quickly moved one hand and covered her mouth to keep her quiet.
"Hmmmm mmmm" she began screaming in Peter's hand as she moved like crazy trying to release herself.
"YOU WILL WAKE THE LOST BOYS" Pan suddenly echoed causing Clara to stop moving from how loud his yell was. She began crying silently with her tears falling on Peter's hand as warm droplets of water.
"God dammit Clara" Pan sighed looking down at the ground then into her eyes. "Now listen carefully Clara" Pan said as he licked his lips, "I am going to remove my hand now okay? And when I do, you will not scream, agreed?" Pan said carefully. Clara stayed still for a while then she nodded. Pan began moving his hand away slowly and as her entire mouth was uncovered, she started screaming once more.
"THAT DOES IT" Pan screamed. He quickly covered Clara's mouth with one hand and pulled Clara closer to him in a sudden with his other hand. Chest to chest. That's how close they were. Suddenly Pan's eyes changed color and a breeze of wind occurred. By now they were both teleported to the middle of the forest.
"YUCK!" Pan suddenly yelled as he quickly removed his hand from Clara's mouth. Clara quickly pushed herself off him and walked a few steps away, backwards. Pan began waving his hand up and down like crazy but in the right time, he began wiping it with his shirt. "You licked my hand!" He said shocked.
"It wasn't pleasant for me either" she said.
"Then why did you do it?" Pan asked wiping his hand
"Because I needed to break free from you" Clara said. Pan stopped and looked at a tree in front ahead to think about what Clara just said. He knew when Clara said break free, she didn't mean from his hand...she meant from him, forever.
"Clara-" he said as he looked at her
"Are you going to talk?" She said as she crossed her arms.
"What?"
"Continue"
*sigh* "it's not a big deal" Pan said as he rubbed his temples
"DONT TELL ME WHAT IT IS AND ISNT" she yelled pointing at him
"Please, just relax" Pan said putting his hands in front of his chest as surrender.
"Relax?" Clara laughed sarcastically. " I can play the part and pretend I am happy but this, this I can't. GOD! I am just a 16 year old from NY. Compared to you I am just a small creature, I can't do this"
"Clara-"
"Your words are in my head and you rested daggers into my heart, you build me in no time to break me down again"
"That's...that was never my aim"
"STOP LYING!" She echoed while stumping her foot once. "I am just so tired of being here"
"I just didn't want you to feel. I didn't mean to do this; I didn't know it would affect you"
"Yes you did, that's why you didn't tell me"
"I-I just didn't want to be weak"
"You didn't want to love"
"Y-y.....exactly"
"You're so afraid of commitment to the point where you stuck the idea that feeling is weakness in your head"
"It IS weakness"
"I can't believe you still think that way. In what normal mind-"
"Exactly" Pan interrupted, "I am not normal"
"Maybe not" she sniffed, "but one thing all creatures have in common is feeling"
"I don't feel"
"Oh I know"
"What?" He said stunned
"You have proven how much of a heartless person you are"
"I am Peter Pan, I was never meant to love"
Clara stayed quiet for a while, confused by what Pan just said.
"W-why are you talking in past tense?" She asked
"I-I-"
"It doesn't even matter anymore, I don't care" She interrupted
"But Clara you do"
"I DONT" she screamed with complete denial
"Clara, if you didn't care then you wouldn't be here"
"I am here to understand everything"
"Okay fine. Long story short, I am Peter Pan. The boy that never loves or gets loved"
"Oh really?" She scuffed sarcastically
"Ya"
"Well guess what, you're wrong"
"W-what do you mean-"
"I LOVED YOU...I-I love you" she said crying. Her cries were silent but now she was taking in quick gasps between each sob to catch her breath.
"What?" Pan said shocked and confused with his eyes open wide. Did he just hear what he thought he did?
"You failed" she said in a cracky voice as her throat began clenching from the tears that were once more coming. "You brought me here and failed. I loved you through everything and you didn't even care, you didn't even notice"
"I-I didn't know" Pan said not to her, but to himself. "It wasn't supposed to be this way" he said shocked looking down at the ground.
"Well it did" Clara said crying, sounding like she had a cold. "Congratulations, you lost me and I lost myself with it"
"Cl-clara I never meant for this to happen" Pan said as he quickly approached her with his hands in front of him but Clara quickly backed away.
"Of course you didn't. You always act before you think, you act not aware of the consequences" Clara said as she turned her back to him. She cried even more and grinned her teeth trying her best not to release any sounds for she has been trying to stop the tears but also failing. She didn't want Pan to know how much he affected her but we all know her aim was not successful. Pan managed to hear the sobs that she was trying to keep in.
"Clara I am so sorry" Pan said
"No, no you aren't" she chocked on a sob as she turned around to look at him dead in the eyes
"You have to believe me, I truly am"
"Sorry you did it or sorry you got caught?" Clara said making Pan speechless. "Go ahead; laugh at the girl who loved too easily"
"I would never Clara, I care about you"
"No! You do not get to break my heart and still say you care about me" She sobbed. Pan looked at her with complete shame, sighing. "I can't believe you. You see you toy with words just like you toy with people" Peter didn't know how to reply to that. He knew she was right. Shame built up in his body that he couldn't even look at her so he looked at the ground instead.
"Congratulations" she said. Pan raised his head to look at Clara.
"What for?" He asked confused
"You're no longer weak" she continued
"I don't understa-" he said worried
"I DONT LOVE YOU ANYMORE!" She echoed
"What?" Pan said disappointed
"You did it, you have made it, I DONT LOVE you" she said crying as she covered her face with her hands. She began releasing loud cries.
"But I-"
"But what? Isn't that what you wanted? I hope you're happy because after this, I am not going to love anyone anymore" she said as she looked at him
"I never meant to make you look at love that way" Pan said
"But you did"
"I-"
"Thank you" Clara said
"What for?" Pan asked
"Because I am no longer weak either"
"Clara please don't say that"
"YOU IDOT!" She screamed "if you left me there on earth I would have never stepped foot on Neverland and we would have never met, that way there would have been no love" She continued
"I-I didn't think of it this way " Pan said with shame
"No you didn't" Clara stated "YOU COULD HAVE LEFT ME"
"B-but-"
"I would have never fallen in love you" she cried as she pointed at him but put her hand down immediately for she was extremely tired.
"We" Pan said looking at the ground. He was biting his bottom lip and his hands were in his pockets.
"What?" Clara said confused
"We...would have never fallen in love" Pan said as he looked at her, making her speechless.
"No, no you do not get to do this to me again" Clara said pointing at him
"What?"
"You do not get to play me again" she screamed. Pan quickly walked up to her and pulled her to him holding both her wrists to prevent her from moving. They were inches apart, chest to chest. Clara tried releasing but he forced her to look at him.
"Don't touch me!" She said moving like crazy; even Pan couldn't keep her steady.
"Don't touch me!"
"Clara-"
"No don't touc-DONT TOUCH ME!" She screamed so loud it echoed. Pan quickly let go of her wrists, scared of her. He was scared of Clara. The way Clara reacted wasn't normal. She was more than furious. Pan backed away a few steps shocked and worried of how Clara was taking all of this.
Clara's body was shaking. She was too furious, too hurt that her entire body was moving like crazy, it was shaking uncontrollably. You can hear her teeth clicking miles away and you can hear her unsteady heavy breathing from another planet. Clara turned around, took a deep breath, and began walking away.
Pan began walking after her very slowly with his hands in the air as surrender. "Clara-"
"No" she said as she turned around to face him. "You...you do not get near me" she said as she pointed at him "I don't want to see you ever again" and with that she turned around once more and walked away. In a quick second she was spun around by the elbow. Peter.
"C-Clara, what happened to you?" He asked as he examined her. He was worried, completely worried and shocked.
"You happened to me" she said
"Wh-where's my Clara? My sweet Clara?" He asked. Clara quickly moved her hand to break free from Pan's grip.
"She's gone" Clara spat "and she was never yours". She turned around and began walking away.
"Clara" Pan said standing still as Clara was walking away.
"Clara" Clara ignored Pan and continued walking away. By now they were feet apart.
"Clara"
"CLARAAA" Pan screamed causing Clara to stop in her tracks. She stood still with her eyes wide open and her mouth forming a gap. Do you want to know why? Pan screaming her name echoed in her head. It kept on repeating.
Clara
Clara
Clara
Out of a sudden, Clara's vision got blurry, too blurry. She began blinking quickly a couple of times but that didn't help. She moved to the side, almost losing her balance but she managed to stay still.
"Clara?" Pan said worried.
Clara didn't understand what Pan said, what he said wasn't clear. It sounded like she was under water, there was too much pressure.
"Clara?" Pan said again
Clara's vision was once more clear but it was upside down. She began moving her head left and right quickly and she began blinking a couple of times and thank god, her vision was back to normal. She sighed in relief and continued walking front.
"AHHHH" she stopped in her tracks as she pulled on her hair from the pain as she screamed.
"CLARA!" Pan yelled as he began running towards her. Before he could reach her, Clara had already fallen to the ground, passed out. The last thing she heard was Pan calling out for her.
-------------To be continued---------------
Next time:
[- Could he possibly know what's happening?
- Was it true what you said?
- That must have been long ago
- You have bewitched me
- Let me GO!
- I cannot stop myself
- Is he trying to make me cry?
- STOP RUINING EVERYTHING]
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Author's Note: AHHH almost 30k views thank you my nachos!!! I love you so much
What do you guys think of the story? Any comments? ;)
Also if there are any spelling or grammar mistakes in my writing please comment, sometimes I don't notice them. THANK YOU LOVELIES! ❤️