I don't know what to think.
I'm pregnant and have HIV.
I have HIV...
No, no!
I jumped off of my bed. "God dammit, KEVIN!" I cried loudly, stomping my foot on the floor.
My ankle and foot stung as I harshly stomped on the floor again. I didn't care at that point what hurt.
I ran my fingers through my hair, feeling myself breakdown more.
"I can't FUCKING BELIEVE THIS!" I shouted as more tears rushed down my face.
"Mia?!" Janet banged on the door.
"Open the door!" Janet worriedly shouted.
I covered my face as I started sobbing loudly.
"N-N-NO!" I shouted.
I heard Janet sigh loudly as she continued to bang her fist on my bedroom door.
"What the hell am I going to do?" I softly whimpered.
"What the HELL AM I GOING TO SAY?!" I cried loudly.
"That's it." I heard Janet said as she barged into my room, breaking the door down.
I didn't dare look at Janet or La Toya.
I can't face anyone right now.
I'm so ashamed..
"Go away!" I mumbled through my hands.
"Mia.." La Toya cooed.
I felt hands start to rub my back.
I harshly moved my body away from the hands. "Don't touch me!" I cried.
"Just stop! STOP IT!" I cried loudly, covering my ears.
"Mia, what the hell is going on?!" Janet asked, furrowing her eyebrows.
I shook my head, "I can't.." I whispered.
"I can't.." I said, my voice cracking.
La Toya looked at me worriedly, she looked to her right.
She spotted the Doctor's letter I had thrown on the floor.
I watched La Toya bend over to pick the letter up.
I put my hands down, "Don't read that!" I said, trying to grab the paper from La Toya.
La Toya scanned the letter, her eyes widened. I heard her softly gasp.
"Mia.." She breathed.
I gulped, feeling more tears sting in my eyes.
"What is it?" Janet asked, taking the letter away from La Toya.
Janet read the letter closer.
She gasped, covering her mouth. "Oh my god, Mia..." She softly said.
"What the hell am I going to do?" I cried.
La Toya and Janet stared at me.
"Oh, honey.." La Toya softly said as she opened her arms.
I stepped back, "Don't touch me." I softly said.
"I'm not ready for any of this." I sternly said, feeling more tears rush down my face.
"Mia, I'm so sorry.." Janet softly said.
I shook my head, "I should've left Kevin a long time ago." I softly said, walking towards my dresser.
"God DAMMIT!" I shouted, banging my fist against the dresser.
"Why do I have to be such a fool?!" I cried, looking at Janet.
"What the hell is wrong with me?!" I shouted.
"Mia, it's not your fault, calm down..." La Toya softly said.
I stared at her, "How can I calm down, La Toya? My baby could be ill, I'm dying!" I cried.
I wiped my forehead, "I should've listened to Michael in the first place." I quietly admitted.
"Stop blaming yourself, Mia." Janet sternly said.
"It isn't your fault." She said.
I glared at her, "It is my fault. I have had sex with Kevin multiple times for joy!" I raised my voice.
"Not lust but love.." I said, stretching my words out.
"We've been together for almost ten years and he goes off doing me like this.." I softly said.
"Such a fuckin' fool.." I whispered, running my fingers through my hair again.
"You're going to get through this, Mia. We're all going to be there for you." La Toya said, gently touching my shoulder.
"How?! Do you know how much shit I'm gonna get because of this?!" I cried.
"This is such a new disease and I've got it! How are you not afraid to be near me?" I whimpered.
"Because Michael knows this child named Ryan White.. He has HIV too, Mia. It's not contagious like talking. It takes... More." Janet said.
"We'll get through this." La Toya cooed.
I glared at her, "Don't tell Michael." I sternly said.
I looked at Janet, "I'll tell him myself..."
"I promise.." I softly said.
La Toya slowly nodded, "Alright." She said.
I threw my arms up, sitting back down on the bed. "Michael is going to hate me forever.." I softly said.
Janet shook her head, "No he isn't, Mi-"
I shot her a look, "Our last fight was about Kevin. I should've left him when I had a damn chance.." I sternly said, sniffling.
Janet sighed. "What are you going to do then?" She quietly asked.
I sighed, shrugging. "I'm going to take the medication I need... Love and care for this baby.." I looked up at them both.
"Pray that this baby won't have my disease.." I said, my voice wobbling.
"Hell.." I said, starting to cry again.
"This is a new STD, no cure.. Nothing... I'm going to die." I softly cried.
"Don't say that, Mia." Janet sternly said, kneeling in front of me.
"Look at me.." Janet sternly said.
I cried, looking down.
"Look.At.Me." Janet firmly said again, holding onto my hands.
I looked up at Janet.
"We're going to get through this as a family.. We're your family and Michael is too. No matter what happens, Mia, we're going to be there for you." Janet said with sincere.
I sniffled, "Please do." I whispered.
Janet let out a small smile as she hugged me tightly.
"Y'all should go home." I said, letting go of Janet.
"Kevin is going to be back soon." I explained, wiping my eyes.
Janet frowned, standing up. "Take care of yourself, Mia. Call us if you need anything." Janet said.
I slowly nodded, cupping my hands together.
"We love you, Mia." La Toya softly said.
I bit my lip, not being able to say anything else.
La Toya sighed, walking out of my bedroom with Janet.
I kept taking deep breaths. I'm going to confront that bitch, Kevin. I growled.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I paced around the living room, looking at the clock each time I turn.
He should be home any minute.
"That sick little ba-" The front door unlocked as Kevin stumbled in, slamming the door behind him.
He grinned at me, "Hey, baby.." He slurred, stumbling towards me.
"I've missed you." He whispered, kissing my neck as he started to feel the sides of my body.
"Not tonight, Kevin." I sternly said, pushing him off of me.
Not ever.
"What's wrong, baby? I-I-I-I thought you wanted this.." Kevin slurred, throwing his coat on the ground.
I squinted my eyes at him, "I'm not in the mood anymore, babe." I spat.
Kevin pulled me closer to him by my waist. "Come on, babe. Don't be like thi-"
I harshly pushed him off of me. "Who have you been screwing?" I sternly said.
Kevin furrowed his eyebrows, "Baby." He laughed.
"I-I don't understand." He said.
"You heard me damn well." I snapped.
"Who the hell have you been fuckin'?" I said, putting my hands on my hips.
"What the hell are you tryin' to accuse me of, huh?" Kevin lowly said, stepping closer to me.
At this point I didn't care if Kevin hits me or not. I'm furious with him.
"I'm accusing you of having HIV, bitch." I spat.
"HIV?" Kevin laughed.
"Baby.. I'll show you something that proves I'm innocent." Kevin threatened, stomping down the hallway.
I sighed loudly, crossing my arms.
Kevin walked back in, carrying Mike in his arms.
My eyes widened, "What does Michael have to do with anything?" I asked.
Kevin slapped me across the face, "We call him MIKE! DON'T YOU EVER SAY MICHAEL IN THIS HOME AGAIN!" Kevin shouted in my face.
I growled, "What does Mike have to do with anything?" I asked again.
"I would never cheat on you, baby." Kevin smirked.
"We have a son. Doesn't that mean anything to you? You can't leave me when we have children.." Kevin smirked as he tried to pull me closer to him with his other arm.
I slapped his arm off of me. "Don't touch me, you drunk!" I raised my voice.
"Watch your fuckin' tone, Missy." Kevin lowly said.
I squinted my eyes at me, "I've found so many clothing around the house that ain't mine! Kevin, what does that say?" I said with an attitude.
"It says you better start picking the right clothing from the laundromat, stupid." Kevin said, pushing me back.
I sighed loudly, "Kevin, I have HIV because of you!" I shouted.
His eyes widened.
"Don't come around here lying to me!" I spat.
"I know the damn truth." I lowly said.
Kevin breathed loudly, "You fuckin' whore.." Kevin mumbled, pushing me to the side as he stomped down the hallway.
My eyes widened. "Kevin?!" I shouted, following him as he continued to carry Mike into our bedroom.
"Kevin, what are you doing?!" I panicked as Kevin walked towards the balcony.
Kevin smirked, opening the door, stepping outside.
I gasped, running towards him. "KEVIN, STOP!" I screamed.
"Say you didn't mean it." Kevin threatened as he turned Mike upside down.
Mike started giggling, thinking it was a game.
"Don't do this, Kevin!" I cried.
"Have you been screwing Michael, huh? Is that where you get your little whore of an STD from?" Kevin spat.
"I've only been with you, Kevin! Stop!" I firmly said, my voice cracking.
Kevin smirked as he started dangling Mike from the balcony.
I felt my heart race, "KEVIN, STOP!" I screamed, trying to get a hold of Mike.
"I AIN'T GOT NO STD, YOU WHORE!" Kevin shouted.
Mike started giggling as he waved his arms around.
"PUT MICHAEL DOWN!!!" I screamed as I tried to reach for Mike.
"L-L-Love! Hehe!" Mike giggled.
Kevin pushed me, causing me to fall.
"I TOLD YOU NOT TO USE THAT NAME IN THIS HOUSE!" Kevin yelled as he let go of Mike.
I quickly got up, trying to catch Mike.
I felt my heart crack as I watched my three-year old fall from the fifteen floor apartment building.
"MICHAEL!" I screamed loudly.