October 31st (Halloween)
Cafeteria
Solana
I walk into dance in a shitty mood, still feeling miserable.
I was ready to use dance as an outlet. I needed to release some stress, and the frustration I was feeling.
I was feeling so much tension in my mind, and body. I just needed to forget my thoughts for awhile and be in the moment.
Seeing Nokia with that girl really fucked with me internally. I couldn't turn my rapid thoughts off, and I was really overwhelmed by all the hypotheticals.
And the saddest thing is I don't know why. I don't like her , and don't feel anything for her. So what was this? Why was she taking over my thoughts?
I push my thoughts to the back of my mind, feeling defeated. I walk into the dance room, going towards the dressing room not sparing anyone a glance.
I ignored the chatter from my peers and just went in the dressing room, changing into my dance attire. I didn't even look at myself in the mirror, that's how fucked up I was feeling.
I walk out the dressing room, and experimental music is playing. A couple of my peers are warming up ,while the rest are talking among themselves or either waiting in line to use the dressing room.
Today I decide I don't want to be bothered or deal with my teacher's attitude. So I make my way into one of the smaller dance rooms, not really caring if I get in trouble or not.
I feel much more relaxed as I'm welcomed by the silence of the room. All the sound and commotion in the other room seems far away , and muffled. Like background noise.
I breath in a sigh of relief before I begin to stretch. I warm up my torso, legs, arms, and neck. Trying to release as much tension as I can.
After awhile I decide I'm ready to dance, and practice the routine I'd been working on. I plug my phone up to the portable speaker, and adjust the volume.
I look in the mirror at my figure clad in a leotard, stockings, and dance shoes. My face looks emotionless, and I smile a little to make myself feel better. A stray curl lays on my forehead , and I smile again. Content with myself.
I press play on my phone and the sound of Gambino's , " Feel Like Summer", seeps through the room. A feeling stirs in me and settles beneath my stomach as I take in the rhythmic beat and the distinct sounds.
I wait for him to start singing and just sway side to side till he does.
You can feel it in the streets
On a day like this, the heat
It feel like summer
I feel like summer
I feel like summer
You can feel it in the streets
On a day like this, the heat
I feel like summer (ey)
She feel like summer
This feel like summer
I feel like summer
I move my hips and thrall my hands in the air dramatically, but in time with the beat. I quickly spin and do a pirouette in the air.
As I touch the ground I sway my hands in front of me in a gracious manner, and do a couple more spins.
I stomp my feet and kick my left foot in the air, letting the music take over me. I feel myself sweat as I continue to dance, but I don't slow down.
I continue dancing , becoming one with the music and letting it take me somewhere beyond my surroudings. Beyond my mind. Beyond Earth. Like an outer body experience.
My thoughts have been long forgotten, and my spirit is filled with newly found joy. I feel beautiful and gracious. Fluid and harmonious. One of nature.
I feel high and like I'm at the top of a mountain, like I've reached the top. As the song ends I come down from my high, but still stuck in a daze.
I feel relieved and like I completed my goal. The tension and stress I once had seem far away. I feel refreshed and my mind is suddenly clearer.
I smile as I breath in and out, with my eyes closed. I grab my water off the ground, taking a big swig from it.
" Impressive, Rowe. I see you've been working." I hear a voice, feeling scared. I turn and realize it's my teacher.Oh shit. Where did she come from?
She claps with a sly smirk on her face. I can't tell if she was being sarcastic, or genuine. She's always criticizing me so hearing her compliment me was strange.
"Is that supposed to be sarcasm or what?" I ask feeling a little bold, and not in the mood for her antics.
She just looks at me then sighs before speaking." I know I'm hard on you. But it's because I see the potential you possess. You're full of talent. I'm just trying to push you to be the best you can be. I want to help you refine your skill, and be apart of your growth. Because I know you're going to be something. Sometimes I have no choice but to be hard on you." Ms. Valentin expresses, with her face still emotionless.
I'm shocked at how she feels about me and have a whole different outlook on how she treats me. I understand now. She's just showing me tough love.
" Th-thank you. Thank you Ms.Valentin. I appreciate it." I say, looking her in the eye, nervously.
She chuckles before replying. " Mhmm, but don't think I'm disregarding the fact you went into this room without my permission , and you're missing out on class."
Damn, I knew this part was coming. So much for wishful thinking. I stand there tongue tied not knowing what to say.
" I'll forget it happened this time, but next time it will be a consequence. Join us now, Rowe." Ms. Valentin walks out, trying to hide her smile.
I chuckle feeling happy and like we've come to some sort of understanding. Her mean, bipolar ass.
^ ^ ^ ^ ^
I walk into lunch in a better mood. The lunch room is packed and everyone is lined up at the different eateries , trying to indulge in Halloween specials.
Halloween songs are playing but it's very subtle due to the loud chatter of the students. I sigh, contemplating on where to eat. I decide to go to the smoothie shop since I wasn't really hungry, and wanted something light.
Plus they probably had the healthiest food here. I join the line , and decide to busy myself with my phone. I don't have any new messages so I just check my Instagram notifications.
I reply back to comments on my Halloween pics ,and scroll down my feed till it's my turn to order.
" Welcome to Sam's Smoothies, how can I help you today?" The cashier speaks in an obnoxious, shrill voice.
" Uhh... I'd like a peach mango smoothie with a veggie burger, and sweet potato fries." I reply, satisfied with my choice.
" Ok your total will be $11.83." I pay the cashier and move to the end of the counter, waiting for my food.
Once I get my food I scan the room trying to find somewhere to sit.
I see Tony, and Rayne accompanied at a lunch table with some of our other friends. I make my way over to the table to join them.
Me, Tony, Rayne, and Nyema mostly just stick together and be in our little space. We have a lot of friends, but we're not as close with them.
But today I was looking forward to catching up with my other friends since I hadn't really been hanging out with them.
" Heyyy guysss." I greet with a smile, as I sit at the table. Everyone acknowledges me and waves back, a couple of them give me hugs. Of course Tony doesn't still upset about this morning.
"Hey Solánaaa, I ain't hung with you in awhile sis. Was poppiiiin?" My friend Erica greets, as I sit next to Rayne. I smile over at Rayne, and she smiles back.
" Hey girrrrl, and righhht. It's been so long. I've been fine , you?" I smile at her giving her my full attention.
" Nun much bitch. Just tryna maintain these grades, secure the bag, and still have enough time to pop my pussy on the weekends." She sticks her tongue out.
We all die of laughter. Erica is ratchet as hell and says whatever, and doesn't give two fucks what anyone thinks. We love her regardless though.
She was known for her loud mouth and being a dancer here at Julliard. Yes, she was rough around the edges and hood as hell, but when it came to dance no one could top her.
She was confident in her ability and always perfect in her moves. And she could dance many genres. Hip hop, ballet, jazz, tap, etc.
Everybody misjudged her and thought she was just a girl from the hood with no talent. But the girl could dance her ass off and was passionate as hell. Her talent and dedication spoke for itself.
" Girrrl you is a meessss." I say looking at her while sipping on my smoothie.
" Damn right I am." She sticks her tongue out her mouth again ,and flips her hair.
Erica was pretty as hell. She had a slim thick body with a booty that was out this world. Her skin was the color of coffee. Dark, smooth, and rich in color.
Her hair was always fly as hell and she had the prettiest set of hazel eyes. Sis could dress too.
Today she was in a body hugging sweat dress, with a pair of Fendi's on her feet. Her hair was in long zig zag cornrows and she had gold earrings in both ears. Bomb.
" Omg. Solanaaaa!!!!" I hear a high pitched squeal that make my ears hurt and I look up being met with none other than Tiffany Parlor.
One of the best drama kid/actress here.
Also one of the richest girl at the school. Her daddy probably owned half of New York , and her spoiled ass got anything she could think of.
But I liked her because she wasn't stuck up like most people thought. She was actually down to Earth, and a hardworker. She didn't want to depend on her dad forever, and actually wanted to make a living for herself.
She was very nice, and always so giving. She could be an airhead at times, but her innocence and naivety made her cute to me.
I admire Tiffany as she makes her way over to the table with her boyfriend holding her lunch. Paul, was a jock but pretty nice.
Her hair was the richest blonde , and looked like a movie star's. Her light blue eyes were glistening, and her face was beat. She was dressed in a Chanel baby blue powder sweatsuit , with shades to match it.
A diamond bracelet was on her wrist with a matching chain. Custom made Balenciagas graced her feet.
She looked like she had been casted to play a part in a Hollywood teen movie about social hierarchy and romance. She was that bitch.
" Tifffannnyyy." I squeal back, getting out of my seat to meet her halfway. We hug and give each other kisses on the cheek.
" Honeeeyyy, how have you been Lana? Shame on you for not coming to hang with us in so long. We've missed you. You have to come and visit me one day. Daddy bought a new estate." She cheeses, getting excited.
" Omg I know, I've been so busy, I promise to spend more time with you guys. And that's greaaat. We need to plan, and have a night out like old times." I express, dramatically.
" Yesss, we need to make an appointment at the spa or maybe get our nails done together ." Tiffany says getting all riled up.
" Definitely." I reply, agreeing.
" Omg Solána this outfit ! It's outrageous, did it come like this ? Like did it come in a set ?" Tiffany clutches her chest. She's so dramatic.
She always seem so cynical and like she acting. But she be dead serious.When I'm talking to her it feels like a movie and like we're playing parts.
" The bralette and the pants came together but I just threw the shirt in wanting to try something different." I shrug my shoulders, feeling somewhat proud of my outfit. Tiffany was the queen of dress so if she liked it,'it was fly.
" Omg you're like, the queen of concept. I'm getting Mean girl vibes like when Regina George wore the cut out nipple shirt. Except that's completely different than you're outfit. But you get me. It's iconiiiic." I laugh. I love Tiff, she's so cool , it felt nice to be talking to her again.
" Aw thanks babe, I'm digging this sweatsuit , giving me hella y2k vibes." I say , gawking at her fit.
" Thanks babe, and you know it's Chaneeelll." She flips her golden blonde hair over her shoulder , and we just begin laughing at each other.
We take a seat, to indulge in conversation more comfortably. " Oh so you're not gonna say hello to your bestie ?" Erica says loudly getting Tiffany's attention.
" Oh hey boo, I'm sorry. I didn't even see you." Tiffany and Erica hug. Yes they were best friends. Even though they were polar opposites.
Erica was loud, and ratchet. While Tiffany was more reserved and formal. Erica was straight hood, while Tiffany was all white girl, 90210ish.
But I guess they balance each other out. They begin to converse and I turn towards Rayne since I hadn't seen her all day.
I nudge her with a smirk on my face , trying to get her attention. She smiles and then fake rolls her eyes at me. I pout.
" Why you being mean Rayne, I missed you. I love uuu." I give her puppy dog eyes , teasing her. She laughs and gives into me.
" You barely acknowledged your best friend." She says with attitude.
" My bad I was catching up with our other friends. Since I'm always round y'all niggas." I refer to her, Nyema, and Tony.
I mush her head making her send me a death glare.
" We gon fight, hoe." She say, jumping at me.
" No we not, because you love me bitch." I stick out my tongue at her and make a weird face. We just laugh each other off.
Today Rayne is dressed in an all black dress with fishnets underneath and combat boots. Black lipstick is on her lips, and her nose ring is present. Her hair is in two side buns with the back falling out.
I'm digging her fit and I subconsciously think about how it reminds me of No- I stop myself before I can even think of her. She took up enough of my thoughts today and I refused to let her take up anymore.
She was making me feel a lot of shit I didn't want to feel. So I just decided I wouldn't acknowledge her or my thoughts about her until I was ready and could handle it. Which would probably be never,
I sigh as I catch myself, and Rayne looks at me worried. " You good, boo?" She rests her hand on my shoulder.
" I'm fine just thinking about shit. Don't worry about me." I send a smile that is somewhat forced.
" You thinking about my dick?" Rayne says wiggling her eyebrows. I bust out laughing she's so fuckin dumb. Yet she always cheers me up.
With her stupid ass jokes. " Nah nigga I'm thinking bout DAT ASS." I say in a deep ass voice.
" You tryna get a taste , Daddy?" Rayne says innocently.
" Hell yea", I lean into her and lick the side of her face then scoot away so she can't do anything.
" Ewww Lanaaa, yo nasty slob ass." Rayne wipes her face, looking disgusted.
" It's more where that came from baby." I wink at her, and laugh my ass off.
" Y'all bitches gay as fuck." Erica says laughing at us. Everyone else soon joins in.
Just as the noise at our table dies down more people plop down. The twins. Sophia and Sapphire.
They were here on an art major and also talented. They always wear matching outfits and makeup. They were joined at the hip and you'd never see them without each other.
The two were pretty bitchy to a lot of people but nice to me. But it's because they only really fuck with each other.
Today they both were in silver sweaters, with plaid skirts, and heels to match. Both of their black hair is straightened with a middle part. They have glittery, silver eyeshadow on with burgundy lipstick.
They were beautiful as hell.
I greet them and they greet me back. " Long time no see Sosa." They sit down and busy themselves on their phone and taking pictures of themselves.
The other person that joins the table along with them is , Syre. A chill, white guy who is here for band. He plays drums and guitars, and has dreams of starting his own rock band one day and getting famous.
He was really cute ,and girls at our school fawned over him. He had sea foam green eyes. Dirty blonde hair. Muscular build. And one of his teeth were chipped which added to his attractiveness for some odd reason.
He was perfect like a model but had this ruggedness to him. He always wore ripped jeans , dirty converses, and shirts with one too many bleach stains. But he was fine as hell despite all that.
He had a pretty nice attitude too,even though he could be cocky sometimes. I fancied him and was happy we were friends.
Only problem is he liked me. Despite me having a boyfriend and everything. He still flirted with me and made advances towards me. I thought it was cute but always turned him down out of respect for my relationship.
I didn't mind being friends with him though. He was nice to talk to and always made me laugh.
Him and Marcus couldn't stand each other. One, because of me and two, because they used to hang around each other but had a falling out. Over what I don't know.
" Solána babygirrrl." Syre plops down beside me , pulling me into a hug and giving me a kiss on the cheek.
"Syreeee...I miss you." I hug him back. I breath in the scent of his jacket which smells like cologne and weed.
" Yo ass don't never hit me up, how you been girl?" He say looking me in the eye. I admire the beauty of his green eyes.
" I knowwww I'm sorry, and I been good, you?" I ask curiously." He rubs his chin and his eyes glisten as he begins to talk.
" I'm doing pretty good. Still playin my instruments , trying to put together my band, and getting ladies until you come around." He says, flirting with me.
" Syre be quiet you always playin, knowing I got a boyfriend."
" Fuck him. When you ready for some real loving hit my line. This white boy got everything you need." He wiggles his eyebrows and takes my hand in his, kissing it.
I smile big at his cuteness, while rolling my eyes.
" Mhmm, whatever. Says the boy who switch girls like underwear." I tease him.
" Yeah cuz I'm waiting on you. I'll drop all of them, for you Lana. Just say the word." He winks at me.
I brush him off and just continue eating my lunch. " How's everything going with music? You still plan on chasing your dream?" He asks , curiously.
I roll my eyes and sigh. " Yeah but I still got mad stage fright and anxiety. I don't know how to be comfortable in my voice and sing in front of a lot of people. I wish I could get past my stupid fear."
" I understand that. Sometimes you just gotta let go and kill your inhibition. Thoughts can sometimes cripple us and stop us from doing a lot of things in life. So you just gotta ignore them and be. You'll learn how to eventually. You're mad talented, don't let your fear get in the way of what you want." I take in Syre's word finding truth in them and feeling a little motivated by them.
" Damn you're right Sy. See that's why I love you,'you're so smart." I nudge his shoulder.
" Marry me then." He takes the onion from in his burger out, and puts it in front of me. The smell bothers my nose and I scoot away.
" Is that suppose to be your ring?"
" Yep, it's all I can afford right now." He says shrugging his shoulders.
" Sorry but Imma need more than that, white boy." We both laugh and eventually stop talking, breaking off into different conversation. Everyone is laughing , catching up, and talking about their plans for tonight.
My mind begins to wonder and I space out taking in my surroundings. I feel mellow until my eyes land on a familiar face across the lunch room. Nokia.
Since when did she have this lunch and how come I'd never noticed? I roll my eyes and grow irritated as she fills my mind. I recall my feelings from earlier, and feel anger instead of sadness.
Why couldn't I just live my life without her affecting me? It's like she was everywhere. In my classes, my lunch hour , and even in my thoughts.
I stare over at her and notice two other girls she's sitting, and conversing with. One has a big , poofy Afro and has headphones covering her ears. She's dressed in masculine clothing, obviously a tomboy.
The other is a pretty Afro Latina looking girl. She has butterscotch skin, and long wavy hair , that looks wet and dewy. It's thrown back in a sleek ponytail.
From here I can see she has thick eyebrows that are arched perfectly. She has big gold hoops in her ear and a hoop earring in her nose. She's dressed in a striped orange and navy blue shirt with ripped jeans.
She was very tomboyish but feminine at the same time.
I wonder who these girls are to Nokia. Were they her friends? Could one of them possibly be her lover?
I continue to observe them , letting my curiosity get the best of me. The two girls laugh at something, as Nokia looks annoyed. You can tell she wants to smile though.
I smile to myself a little , enjoying her annoyance. It was funny and rare to see her annoyed, seeing as she was the one always annoying me.
A taste of your own medicine, huh?
As they continue to laugh and joke I come to conclusion that the girls are probably just her friends. Relief comes over me and I feel content for some reason. Why?
I continue to eat my lunch, drowning out my friend's chatter, lost in my own world. And of course my thoughts of Nokia.
I continue to steal peeks at them, not being able to control myself. And suddenly a wave of emptiness and jealousy comes over me once I see the girl from poetry class come sit next to them.
The same one Nokia had been conversing with. The same one who had taken my seat next to Nokia. And the one who had possibly Nokia's interest.
I watch as Nokia's face lights up at the sight of her, like the girl was a God and had fallen from the sky or something. As if she was the highlight of her day, and they hadn't just seen each other last hour.
My feelings get crushed even more as they hug each other, and I feel like I can't breathe. Like my oxygen was slowly leaving me and the more I watched them, the more I would lose air.
I felt helpless, and like I couldn't do anything. I wished I could stop the situation from happening but I couldn't. It was out of my control.
I couldn't control them hugging each other. I couldn't control the way their eyes lit up when they seen one another. And I damn sure couldn't control the way they felt.
" Yooo...Solána are you okay? You look like you bout ready to cry." I exit my thoughts as I hear Rayne's voice. I look over at her not being able to form words, feeling dumbfounded.
"I uhhh... I just...", I try to talk but my eyes find their way back over to Nokia's table. Bitterness and an urge to scream settles inside me as I watch her and the girl.
"Why are you looking at those girls like that? Do you know them or something?" Tiffany looks at me confused.
The table gets silent and everyone's attention is on me , anxious to hear what I have to say. Anxiety creeps it's way through my body as all my friends eye me ,and look between me and Nokia's table.
" No, I don't know them." I lie, just so their attention can leave me. I feel my palms sweating , and my heart beating.
" Yo, that's that one dyke and her friends. Her name is Nokie or some shit like that. She fucked Dylan's girlfriend last year." Syre says loudly as he chews on a burger. Everyone starts whispering, looking over at the table, and getting excited to hear some gossip.
I roll my eyes at the derogatory term, and also at my friend's gossiping. I don't understand why they got a kick out of being in everyone's business.
They always had to talk down on people, and gossip about others. As if they had nothing better to do with their lives. But I ponder the information feeling a little shocked, and disappointed.
I felt disgusted and ashamed of myself. I was stressing over someone ,and feeling things for a person who didn't give a fuck about me, and had a big ass reputation.
She obviously was a player and got around with girls. All she wanted was to fuck me , and to move on with the next girl. She didn't care about anyone's feelings. She was selfish and only cared about her own selfish needs.
" Are you for real? How do you know?" Sophia pryed, eager to know more and indulge in the gossip.
" Hell yeaa. He found them messaging each other , and confronted the girl at school. She told him straight up. He almost fought her because she was actin all tough. But he calmed down because he ain't want to fight a female."
" Omg so that's why they broke up? Daniella was cheating on him with a girl?" Tiffany gasp being all dramatic.
" Yep." Syre says as the others look surprised. I just feel myself getting upset.
Upset at Nokia for being a fuckgirl. Upset at my friends for gossping, and talking about her. And upset at myself for being upset.
Why did I care ? She doesn't mean anything to me, I barely know her!!!
" Yeah she gets around. She's slept with hella girls here, and known for turning them out. A lot of them be fighting over her, it's wild." Syre continues to speak about Nokia.
" Ew, I don't understand how girls can have sex with other girls. That has to feel so weird and unsatisfying." Tony scrunches her face up , as she comments on the situation.
" Right like who would want to be fucked with a plastic dick and get head from another girl?" Sapphire says looking confused. Omg.
" Shiiit she's cuuute. I'd let her get a taste any day. Okuuur." Erica says loudly, sipping on a drink. I watch as she looks over at Nokia, practically drooling. The others laugh at her and scold her, but I feel upset.
I feel myself getting protective and ready to fight. I clench my fist and feel myself getting tense as they continue to talk about her. I try to tune them out , but they just continue talking. About her.
Finally I just snap. " Can you guys just shut up!!! Who cares about her, and how many girls she has slept with? Why does it matter , that's her business. Let people live their lives the way they want. If she likes girls, let her. Damn. That's why I don't hang with you guys cause y'all are always concerned about other people." I take a breath after I finish what I have to say. They all look at me wide eyed as their mouths hang open.
I'm a nice person , and stayed pretty calm. So it was rare for me to snap. I usually just kept my thoughts to myself when something bothered me. But today I just couldn't.
I felt like I was losing my shit, and had a zero tolerance level. I don't know what it was.
" Solána...", Rayne grabs my arm, looking shocked.
" No, I can't deal with this right now. Excuse me but I have to go." I get up from the table , grabbing my belongings. I stomp away from the table , annoyed, not bothering to look back.
I walk through the swarm of students, filtering out the noise as I make my way to the bathroom. I enter the bathroom, not even paying attention to the few girls in here.
They glance at me and continue talking or busying themselves with whatever. I walk into a stall, slamming the door. I plop down on it, feeling defeated.
I let out a sigh, as I put hands on my head. What am I doing? What is going on with me?
I don't understand anything I'm feeling. I'm confused and lost as to what it means. Why does she have this effect on me? It's like she's controlling me and taking over my life.
And I don't want her to...but it just keeps happening.
A couple minutes later after sitting and pitying myself I exit the stall, ignoring my thoughts and feelings.
I just couldn't deal with them. Thinking things through and trying to rationalize wasn't getting me anywhere. I was constantly going in circles.
I stare at myself in the mirror, as if something will change and I'll find the answers I need.
I snap out of it as I hear the bathroom door open. I busy myself with washing my hands, so I wouldn't look weird or anything.
I already have my friends wondering about me.
I feel the person's presence and hear their shoes move around on the bathroom floor. I continue to busy myself with washing my hands, not in the mood to interact or even look at anyone else.
" Solána...", I hear my name and recognize the voice without even looking back. I feel myself freeze, and start to feel stressed again.
Well I'll be damned. Fucking Nokia. What does she even want? Where did she come from?
Why can't she just leave me alone? I want nothing to do with her, not now, not ever.
I close my eyes as I sigh, and then look back at her in the mirror. To my surprise she doesn't have that stupid grin on her face, and she actually looks genuinely concerned.
Who am I fooling though? She doesn't give a damn about me, or anyone else.
" What do you want, Destiny?" I say , not even caring that I called her by her real name. Maybe she would get the message that I didn't want anything to do with her. I wasn't in a good mood at all.
She chuckles , before sighing. " So that's what we doin now? It's like that?" I stare daggers at her, as she puts her hands in her pocket.
I chuckle bitterly. " Yep it is like that. I don't want to talk to you, I don't want to look at you , I don't even want to breathe the same air as you. I just want you to leave me the hell alone, and go bother someone else." I feel my blood boil, as I talk getting more and more worked up.
" Damn I fucked up didn't I ? You really don't want shit to do with me?"
" Yes you did. You don't respect me, my sexuality, or my relationship. You continue to come on to me time after time. I thought I wasn't your type, so why the hell do you keep trying to pursue me? All I wanted was to be your friend."
"I'm not gay. I don't like girls, and I especially don't like you. I am not a girl who will be another notch in your belt, to fulfill your stupid, twisted fantasy. And fuck you for thinking that." I let my thoughts out without even stopping for air. It felt good to get it off my chest. It was like a weight had been lifted.
It grows silent after I stop talking and then she speaks.
" Look I'm sorry, I know I fucked up. And I want to make things right." Nokia pleads, looking helpless. She inches towards me and I feel myself growing nervous.
" No fuck it. I don't care about anything you have to say. Go find another girl to toy with. Like your little girlfriend." The words slip my mouth before I can even think about them. I cringe at how jealous I sound.
" What? What girlfriend? Who are you talking about?" Nokia asks, trying to play dumb. I fold my arms over my chest looking at her like she's full of shit.
" You know who I'm talking about. The girl you sat with in poetry. The girl who you were talking shit about me with. Yeah, that girl. Go fuck with her."
" Marie? Omg, you definitely have it all wrong. She's a friend, a very good friend. I don't even look at her in that way. She's cool but no." Nokia chuckles which only makes me get mad and feel stupid.
A part of me feels relieved and wants to believe her. But another part of me feels upset and like she lying.
" Yeah whatever you say Nokia." I roll my eyes , and busy myself with drying my hands.
" And we weren't talking shit about you. Yes we were talking about you but not in a bad way. I was telling her about how I ..." she pauses as if she doesn't know what to say.
" How what?" I say, growing irritated.
" How I uhhh..,want to be friends with you but I'm bad at it. And how I like spending time with you." She shrugs her shoulders , and her face looks a little nervous as she says it.
I squint my eyes in suspicion at her, trying to call her bluff. But she looks genuine as if she actually meant it.
I feel my heart flutter, and start to feel all bashful. " You do? You like spending time with me?" I finally turn around and actually look at her.
I suddenly lose all the confidence I once had, and feel shy around her like I usually do. I look into her eyes , and feel myself melting from the intensity of them. It feels like she's staring into my soul.
" Yes, I do. You know that, don't you?" She inches towards me and I feel my breath speed up. What the hell?
Before I know it my backside is touching the sink, and she's hovering in front of me. I hold on to the sides of the sink, and lower my head not wanting to make eye contact with her.
She grabs ahold of my chin, making me look into her eyes. I get lost in them, and feel in awe of all her beauty.
Then suddenly I come back to my right senses and realize what she's doing: Trying to manipulate me like always.
" You're full of shit, get the hell away from me." I pull away from her, startling myself and her. All my anger and frustration towards her comes flowing back. Who does she think she is?
I gather all my shit, prepared to walk out the bathroom, to get the fuck away from her.
" Yo, why are you being like that? You touched my boobs I didn't make you." She says sounding all cocky.
" Yes the fuck you did! You manipulated me into doing it. You liar." I turn around, ready to defend myself.
" Ok yeah, but it's not like you didn't want to. You wanted to do it. I just helped you out." She shrugs her shoulders and that cocky grin appears on her face.
For some reason I decide not to respond to her and just continue to make my way out the bathroom. Fuck her.
She walks after me, and grabs my arm, making me turn towards her. " Solána- "
" Don't fuckin touch me, Destiny" I snatch my arm out of her hold, and she looks shocked for the second time. Her mouth hangs open, and she stands there without anything left to say.
I just walk out the bathroom , heated but relieved I'm away from her.
This has been the worst day ever.
Heyyy. Hope you guys had a Happy Thanksgiving and ate hella shit. 🌚🦃I been vegetarian like two weeks so I just ate some damn baked potatoes and pie lol. It was fye doh.🤤😂
Brooo this chapter was 6,000 words this is the longest chapter I've ever written. I hope it didn't drag and was actually interesting.
It's break so I been writing, hope I can get some more writing done before break lol 😫
Hope y'all enjoyed. Vote. Comment. Discuss. Share. Add to your reading list. ❤️ bye- Arieaja