October 31st (Halloween)
Julliard School
Solána
Me and Tony walk into the school just as the bell rings, signifying the start of third hour. We say bye to each other as we go our separate ways.
I make my way to my locker to put books ,and different materials I wouldn't need today since I had already missed two classes.
I also needed to get my shoes for dance ,because I wouldn't be doing anything in these damn heels.
I make my way towards my locker pushing past stagnant students , and also making sure not to trip in these damn heels.
Our school has different Halloween decorations up. Orange lights, fake spiders, skeletons,and posters of pumpkins. A handful of the teachers are dressed in costumes trying to get us in the "Halloween spirit".
A lot of students are dressed up in orange and black but none seem to be wearing costumes. Candy wrappers litter the ground , making me roll my eyes.
How the hell are you in college but don't know how to throw shit in the trash, and pick up after yourself?
" Solaaaanaa". I hear a loud high pitched ass voice calling my name. I turn around but don't see anyone so I just shrug it off , and continue walking.
I reach my locker and unlock it, and feel someone's body come barging into mine from behind. I turn around ready to cuss someone out.
"What the fuuu- ", I stop speaking when I realize who it is. Stacy. One of my friends from dance. She's a cute little Asian girl who's really sweet to everyone.
She's nice to everyone so it's rare for her to have problems with other people. Usually when she's in conflict it's just because someone is being a dick, and picking on her for no reason.
But since she's cool with everyone she always has people to defend her or back her up.
I laugh at the frightened expression on her face. Her eyes are hella big, her mouth is formed in an "o", and she has her hands up as if she's surrendering.
Stacey is really small and can't be any taller than 5'0. She's petite and only weigh about 115. But thanks to her small body she's one of the best dancers at Julliard.
She moves fast as hell , and never runs out of stamina. She can do hella tricks and flips.
Stacey is is also adorable as hell. She has dark brown eyes , a small nose, and full lips. She has the smoothest , clearest skin I've seen on anyone.
Today she's dressed in a pink , girly costume that I'm guessing is a Sailor Moon costume. Her hair is in two ponytails on both sides of her head, and she has a crown on her head with a star that's in the middle of her forehead. Definitely Sailor Moon.
I break out of my thoughts and laugh at her facial expression. She looks scared as fuck. I didn't mean to yell at her like that.
" My bad Stacey I ain't know that was you. Yo little ass almost knocked the wind outta me." I say putting my hand on my chest.
She grimaces and starts to fiddle with her fingers out of nervousness. I smile at our similarity trait.
" My bad I guess I got too excited, with it being Halloween and all." She shrugs her shoulders with a sheepish grin.
" It's cool, what's up?" I say , not wanting her to feel bad or anything.
"I wanted to know if you're doing anything. Some people in our class are throwing a party tonight, and I know how you usually stay in the house so I wanted to invite you to change that. I'm sure you'd have a good time." She gives me a warm smile and I smile back.
Happy at her thinking about me, but also knowing I already have plans.
" I appreciate you thinking about me, and I probably would have took you up on the offer but my boyfriend invited me to a party already." I explain to her.
She looks a little disappointed but then her face lights up. " That's good. I'm glad you're getting out tonight instead of staying in the house. I know how ridiculous you think Halloween is."
We both laugh and agree with each other.
" Thanks I guess I'll see you in dance, Stace." I say as I begin walking towards Ms.Hyde's class.
" Yep, bye Sosa." She skips away in her pink shoes and knee high socks.
" Stace!", I call out before she disappears down the hall. "Huh?", She says looking curious.
" I dig the Sailor Moon fit." I smirk at her and send her a wink.
" Thaaaanks seems like you're the only one who knew what it was. None of the losers in this school know ANYTHING." She says rolling her eyes.
I laugh at her , we say our goodbyes, and she runs down the hallway like Nartuo, with her hands behind her back.
I die of laughter before walking into the classroom. That girl a trip.
I walk into poetry and become mindful of the class and everything it contains. Most importantly, who it contains. Nokia.
I roll my eyes and scrunch my face up as I think about her. I did not want to deal with her bullshit today so I sit somewhere else in the classroom.
I meant what I said about avoiding her. She's no good and I don't want to get caught up in that. I know exactly what's going on in her sick ass head.
She thinks she can turn me out and that I'm some kind of challenge to her because I'm straight. And if she did succeed she could fill her ego up and think she has some sort of control over me.
She's manipulative as fuck and I want nothing to do with her. She doesn't respect me or my sexuality.
It would have been ok if she wouldn't have been coming on to me. We could have been friends.
But now I want nothing to do with her.
I look up and see she just walked walk into the classroom and is making her way over to where we usually sit together. Her outfit today is really emo. A graphic tee, baggy pants, combat boots, and hella accessories.
She has straight weave in her hair ,her eyes are accentuated with dark eyeliner. Her appearance is filled with swag ,and she looks cute as hell to be honest.
I love how she can be feminine and masculine all in one. Hard, but soft. Demanding and dominant, but alluring and submissive.
Just as she begins to sit down we make eye contact with each other ,and I freeze up and feel stuck. She smirks, that cocky ass smirk and waves at me. Her acrylic nails flutter in the air as she waves.
I roll my eyes at her , and she blows me a kiss. I scoff, and just give her the middle finger. That just eggs her immature ass on.
She laughs obnoxiously to the point where everyone in the room can hear it and she mouths , "when" to me.
"In your dreams." I say aloud. She just continues smiling and doesn't respond and sits in her seat. The bell rings and the last students pour in.
Ms. Hyde still isn't back so I just decide to work on other stuff. Plus I can't really do the project without a partner. But I don't know if I even want to do it with Nokia or find someone else.
I sigh and busy myself with work. The substitute just puts on random Halloween videos , and the students talk among themselves and do whatever after the bell rings.
I look up after awhile, over at me and Nokia's table. To my surprise there's another girl sitting with her. And they seem to be in deep conversation.
My mind begins to wander and throw questions around.
Who the hell is she?
How does Nokia know her?
Are they friends?
Are they more than friends?
And what the hell are they talking about ?
My hands start to sweat and I begin to fidget in my seat. Why the hell is this bothering me so much? Why does it even matter to me?
Me and Nokia aren't friends anymore, and it's not my business anyway. I should be happy she's pestering another girl ,and not me. But I'm not.
Despite my thoughts I can't tear my eyes away from them and this girl. What would Nokia want with her?
I scrutinize the girl trying to pick out any flaws she had but I couldn't. She was beautiful as hell. Her face was beat, her weave was curled to perfection, and she was dressed nice.
She had a really nice smile that contained blue braces. She was really pretty. I could see why Nokia was talking to her.
I began to feel inferior and insecure about myself. I subconsciously pick and pull at my hair cursing it for being so wild and untameable. Cursing it for not being as perfect as the girl's.
I pick at my outfit, suddenly wanting to cover up feeling like it's stupid. The girl was dressed in a crop top and a simple pair of mom jeans. Why couldn't I be like that? I always had to do some weird shit and go all out my way with outfits. Why did I have to be so different?
I take out my mirror looking at my makeup , growing irritated that it's not as good as hers. I definitely don't have as much skill as she has. My highlighter doesn't shine as much as hers. I still struggle with making my cat eye look good.
I look over at them , conversing and laughing at each other. Nokia smiles. A genuine smile. Not one of those cocky grins. A simple smile. It's beautiful.
Why couldn't she do that with me? What did the girl say to make her smile like that? Why couldn't I? What did she have that I don't ? Why didn't Nokia look at me the way she looked at the girl?
They continue talking and the girl touches Nokia ,and rests her hand on Nokia's forearm. A wave of emptiness washes over me. My stomach drops and my body temperature rises. The emptiness mixes with a teaspoon of bitterness.
Fuck her and that girl.
I look over at them some more , and me and Nokia make eye contact. She sends me a smile and winks at me. I just continue to mug her.
The girl realizes Nokia's attention is now somewhere else, so she turns her attention where Nokia's is. Me.
The girl makes eye contact with me and sends me a smile that looks forced before turning back to Nokia. They begin to whisper ,while stealing peeks at me which could only mean they're talking shit.
I feel myself getting upset and to avoid getting into altercation ,I take my attention off them and stop looking at them.
And it's like I come back to my right senses again. I feel shocked by my previous thoughts and it seems as if they're not even mine. Why am I comparing myself to a girl Nokia is conversing with? Why would I feel insecure? Why does it matter who she talks to. Am I jealous?
No I'm not. I'm not gay and don't have any feelings towards Nokia. I have a boyfriend I'm madly in love with and care deeply about. I've never been attracted to another woman in my life.
So what was this? What was she doing to me? Where was all this coming from? Why did she have this pull over me that no one else had? She was channeling feelings and emotions I didn't even know I could feel. This girl had me going crazy.
You could deny words, you could deny actions, but you couldn't deny feelings. And I couldn't deny what I was feeling for Nokia.
I don't know what I was feeling but I sure am feeling something. Something profound and more complex than I've ever known. Something that's beyond me, and my understanding.
Meanwhile she probably didn't waste a thought on me. She probably had many other girls like this. And I was just another notch on her belt.
I had to pull myself out of this , before it was too late. Or maybe it already is....
Heyyyy. This chapter was wild. They both getting deeper and deeper in their feelings about each other...and this is only the beginning
What do y'all think? What do y'all think of Solána's thoughts ? What do y'all think of Nokia, is she manipulative? What do y'all think Marie and Nokia was talking about?
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