83RD ROSE || Storm Gonzaga (Pt.2)
- STORM GONZAGA -
I admit that the Outside School is really fun and exciting. I was really expecting na magto-tour lang kami sa mga tourist spots at magsestay kami sa hotel but no, it's not. Sa Outside School na ito ko lang naramdaman ang totoong essence ng camping. I am the batter in our baseball in the mud game, representing our team in Grade 12. Well, actually I'm playing this sport eversince Elementary so yeah, this game is not really hard for me and it'll not make me bleed once I'll start running for a home run since we're playing in the mud.
Hinigpitan ko ang pagkakahawak ko sa baseball bat habang nakatingin ako sa bola nung marinig ko ang cheer ng mga kaklase ko, at nangibabaw naman doon ang boses ni Michelle.
"Go Storm! Go Storm! Kaya mo 'yan!!!" bahagya naman akong napatingin sa kanya na katabi lang ni Quia habang winawagayway n'ya ang kanyang panyo na may nakaimprintang mga rosas. Malapad ang ngiti n'ya habang chinicheer ako.
Palihim akong ngumiti kasabay ng pagpalo ko sa bola at pagtakbo ko sa mga base. Bago pa man maibalik sa pitcher ang bola ay naka-home run na kami.
Sigawan agad ng mga ka-batch ko ang narinig ko nung maka-home run kami. Hinanap agad ng paningin ko si Michelle na ngayon ay masayang-masayang tumatalon habang pumapalakpak at nakatingin sa akin.
"Ang galing mo!!!" sigaw n'ya para marinig ko s'ya.
I snorted seeing her face messed with mud but I'm happy seeing her smile. Nanalo ako dahil ang galing mong mag-cheer eh.
Did I just suddenly became warm towards her? Oh, boy, this is not good. This is really not good. Alam ko kung saan patutungo ang nararamdaman kong ito ngunit hindi, hindi ko hahayaang mangyari ito. I will never ever get involved in this twisted thing called infatuation.
So far naging masaya naman ang buong linggo namin sa Outside School. Hindi naman naging boring iyon dahil na rin sa mga games at pakulong ginawa namin doon. Nakalimutan ko nga ang problema ko sa parents ko nung sumama ako sa Outside School. I guess I should really thank our class president for this.
Unti-unting sumilay sa mga labi ko ang kanina ko pang sinusupil na ngiti matapos kong maalala ang mga nangyari sa Outside School. Hindi ko alam kung bakit ko naaalala ang mga iyon—ilang araw nang nakalipas iyon ngunit heto ako't naaalala ko parin lahat iyon. This is driving me nuts and it's that girl's fault kaya ngumingiti ako na parang baliw rito. Goddamn it. Umiling na lamang ako at pinagpatuloy ko ang pagkain ng instant noodles. Yes, this will be my dinner for tonight. Mas mabuti na rin itong mag-isang kumakain. At least nakakain ko ang mga pagkaing gusto ko, unlike in our house.
"'Wag puro pambara ang kainin mo. Dapat may panulak."
Nag-angat ako ng tingin sa may-ari ng boses at gulat ang rumehistro sa mukha ko nung makita ko si Michelle kaya halos hindi ko malunok ang kinakain ko. "Su-Sumastre, a-anong ginagawa mo rito?"
Nilapag n'ya muna ang slurpee na hawak n'ya. I was staring on the slurpee and frowned. She was supposed to offer some sort of soft drinks or water, right? What's with the slurpee? Ah, this girl is super duper weird. Crazy girl.
Mukhang luto na ang pagkaing niluluto n'ya sa sa microwave oven kaya agad s'yang lumapit dito at kinuha. Bumalik ulit s'ya sa table kung saan ako kumakain at umupo sa tapat ko. "Tulad mo, kumakain."
I wanna say something pero biglang umurong ang dila ko kaya kumain muli ako at narinig kong muli s'yang nagsalita. "Walang anuman."
I just cleared my throat and nodded as I continue eating. Seriously, I wanna talk to her but I can't find any word to start the conversation. Ugh, Storm you're being stupid again. "Bakit dito ka kumakain? Bakit hindi do'n sa bahay n'yo? 'Wag mong mamasamain ang tanong ko ah? Curious lang ako," I looked at her as she continue eating.
I want your eyes on me, pretty lass!
Alam kong nagulat s'ya sa ginawa kong pagkuha ng noodles sa cup na hawak n'ya at kinain ito pero wala akong pakealam. Advantage rin 'yung ginawa ko. At least nakatingin na s'ya sa akin. "Nakakasawang kumain sa bahay. Puro sosyal ang pagkain tapos maingay pa dahil akala mo nasa business meeting ka sa dami ng sinasabi ng mga magulang mo. At least dito, kahit ano'ng pagkain makakain mo ng walang sumusuway sa'yo."
"Ikaw? Bakit dito ka kumakain?" tanong ko habang may laman pa ang bibig ko dahil sa noodles.
She laughed and I was stunned. Damnit, what's happening to me? "Don't talk when your mouth is full."
Umismid naman agad ako at binalewala ang naramdaman ko kani-kanina lang. "Pake mo? 'Di mo naman bibig 'to."
She glared at me. "Kumain ka na nga d'yan. Maya ka na magtanong."
Nagkibit-balikat na lamang ako at bumalik ulit ako sa pagkain.
"Gusto mo pala ng beef bulalo flavor na noodles?" tanong n'ya rin habang puno pa ang bibig n'ya. Is she imitating me?
"Don't talk when your mouth is full," I said, mimicking her.
She blinked and smiled. Ugh, stop acting like that you crazy girl!
"Tss..." naramdaman ko na lang na bigla na lamang sumilay sa mukha ko ang kani-kanina ko pang sinusupil na ngiti habang kinakain ang instant noodles. Damn, why am I acting like a dork here? Darn.
"Mas masarap kumain ng noodles pag may kanin," she muttered.
"Rice is a good match of pancit canton," sagot ko naman.
"Pa'no mo alam 'yun?"
"I tasted almost all the noodles here so I know."
"Yabang."
"Crazy. I'm not. I'm just stating facts."
"Pero mas masarap nga ang pancit canton sa kanin," I snorted as I heard her answer.
"I told you so."
Ilang araw na rin ang nakalipas matapos ang pagkikita naming iyon ni Michelle ay naging abala na rin kami sa eskwelahan. Nagkikita naman kami araw-araw kaso minsan lang kaming mag-usap dahil kung hindi ako ang busy, s'ya ang busy. Kung hindi naman kami busy pareho, lagi naman n'yang kasama si Chantal, Quia, Venessa, Lorelie, Honey Stephanie, Raine at iba pang kaklase naming babae. Sabihin mo nga, paano ako makaka-tiyempong kausapin s'ya sa lagay na 'to?
Yes, I'll admit it. I'm kinda shy in approaching her. I know it's gay but it's really what I feel! Ugh, curse that crazy girl who made me act like this. It's totally gayshit.
I received a phone call from Quia—ah, no—from Tric. Actually, it's Quia's phone but Tric Marion Baek is the one who called us for an urgent meeting and even threat us that he'll gonna pull out his investments in our families' companies if we'll not gonna attend the meeting. He's a very big investor in our company and pulling his investments in our company will be a big trouble for us. Yeah, right, that goddamn half-korean jerk is our business partner—or should I say he's one of our biggest investors in the company and he is such a pain in the ass so instead of risking my mom's company, I'll gonna attend the meeting. Damn him.
I admit I am so surprise when I knew the reason why Tric (actually it's Quia. She's the mastermind) called us for a meeting—dahil tungkol pala iyon sa birthday ni Michelle, sabay sa mismong araw ng acquaintance ball namin. I should feel pissed because that's the only reason why the call such urgent, stupid meeting pero sa halip na magalit ay nakaramdam ako ng biglaang excitement, lalo pa't pinagkakasunduan naming lahat ang tungkol sa gagawin at ihahanda namin sa surprise birthday party namin para sa pinakauna naming class president sa history ng batch namin.
But the main reason why I am so goddamn happy is because... I will be one of her 18 roses, one of the important boys in her life.
Should I be happy about it? Should I feel the honor, the privilege? I asked myself.
Yes, you really do, Storm. You really do deep inside your goddamn heart.
"Ate Sydney, can you choose between these two prince attires suits me? Is it the black or the white?" I asked ate Sydney as she's caressing the fur of her dog.
Kumunot naman ang noo n'ya matapos kong ipakita sa kanya ang dalawang prince costume na hawak ko. "Ha? Magsusuot ka n'yan? Para saan? Cosplay party pala ang acquaintance ball n'yo?"
"Nope," I popped the 'p' for emphasis. "It's our class president's 18th birthday. Fairytale themed kasi ang birthday n'ya parang kapanahunan ni Cinderella ang dating kaya eto, mapipilitan akong magsuot ng costume na ito para sa birthday n'ya."
"Oh~ so, you're one of her 18 roses?" I nodded as a response. "Kyaah! I'm so proud of you baby boy! Binata ka na!"
"Please don't call me that, ate. It sounds disgusting," ngumiwi ako.
She pouted. I wonder why I have a sister who is very, very childish. Ano kaya ang pinaglihian nito ni mama? Si Dora? Isip-bata 'yun eh. Paano kaya na-handle ni kuya Jared ang ugali na ito ni ate? Tsk. "Grabe ka naman sa akin, kapatid. Minsan na nga lang ako maglambing sa'yo, babarahin mo pa ako. Hindi ba pwedeng maging proud ako sa'yo kasi isa ka sa 18 roses ng kaklase mo? First time kong narinig na tinanggap mo ang pagiging isa sa 18 roses kasi andami mo nang nireject na offer as escort tapos ngayon ka pa lang pupunta ng party na hindi bored o kaya napipilitan. Ako na nga lang ang nag-iisang ate mo na nagmamahal sa'yo ginaganito mo pa ako. It hurts, you know? Ayheytyu!"
I sighed as I kissed her forehead. "I love you, ate. Okay na?"
She beamed. "So much. Haah~ I miss Jared tuloy."
"Hindi kayo nagkausap o nagkita?" I frowned.
"Nagkita. Kaso kaninang umaga lang 'yun dahil ginawa s'yang photographer sa kasal ng kaibigan n'ya. Pero kahit ganoon, namimiss ko parin s'ya."
I slightly shook my head. "You're being possessive, ate."
"It's not possessiveness, it's love," she defended. "Well, I admit it sounds possessive but what should I do? I love him as much as he loves me and I'm afraid of losing him. At kahit kanina mo lang s'ya nakita, namimiss mo agad s'ya. That's love, Storm. It makes you lose your senses, your ability to analyze everything, think everything except for that person, it makes you crazy, makes you childish, makes you mature and makes you happy as well. I know, hindi mo pa maiintindihan ang sinasabi ko but someday, if you'll fell in love with someone, you'll feel this craziness called love and you'll be afraid of letting her go."
"Yeah right, crazy little thing called love," I rolled my eyes playfully. "So tell me now, alin ang pinakamagandang suotin sa dalawang 'to?"
She beamed as she points the prince attire in my left hand. "The black one. It suits you."
Tumango naman ako at bahagyang ngumiti. "Thanks, ate."
"No problem, baby boy!"
Narinig ko naman agad ang ringtone ng cellphone ko kaya agad ko itong sinagot. "Yes, Quia. I'm on my way," agad ko namang binaba ang tawag. "Ate, I have to go now. Thanks for the help."
"You're welcome, baby boy! Don't give up on her!" 'yun ang narinig ko bago ako tuluyang lumabas sa kwarto n'ya.
I slightly frowned. Don't give up on... what? What the heck is my sister tries to imply?
"Good evening, students of Empire Academy!" the MC opened the acquaintance ball with a greeting. "This night is special for us. We acquaint and make memories with our schoolmates and classmates that we will treasure forever. Aside from that, this night also, ladies and gentlemen is also important and a big day for this young maiden because this is the day that she'll flap her wings and take her journey into a complete woman. Please help me welcome, our debutant, our birthday celebrant, Michelle Sumastre!"
Mula sa nakakubling kurtina ay kitang-kita namin ang paglabas ni Michelle mula roon and I jaw-dropped mentally when I saw her wearing a baby pink, rosy gown while she's going down from the staircase. Gawd, she's so pretty—ah, wait. Pretty is an underestimation. She's damn gorgeous. She's so illegal and I wanna sue her in the higher court for being pretty!
She's looking at us as me, together with Tric, Mark, Raven, Nathaniel, Hans, Luke, Ryuuji, Tyrone, Errol, Nolan, Riel, Leogne, Kezie, France, Price Kurt, Arsean at Kaizzer were holding each red roses as we stood up beside the staircase. I'm on the left side facing Kaizzer, he's wearing a red-colored prince attire and he is so good-looking on it. But I'm more good-looking than them, as what my sister said.
Nung tuluyan nang nakababa si Michelle ay agad ko na s'yang sinalubong at iginiya sa gitnang bahagi ng ballroom. Binigay ko sa kanya ang unang rosas na hawak ko. I slowly wrapped my left arm on her slim waist and hold her hand as I gently danced with her. Damn, why I felt so giddy while staring at her up close? This is not good, really. But somehow... I like the feeling.
"I hate to admit it but... you're so beautiful tonight," bigla ko na lamang nasabi iyon sa kanya. Actually, it's really true but goddamn it! I don't wanna say it to her!
She smiled sweetly and my heart suddenly skipped a beat. I felt like I just got a cardiac arrest. "Ikaw rin, sobrang gwapo mo sa suot mo. Bagay na bagay sa iyo."
"'Wag mo nga akong bolahin, Sumastre," I tried to be stiff but I don't really think it's effective. Darn.
She blinked twice. "Mukha ba kitang binobola rito? Hindi ah?"
"Crazy girl," natanaw ko na si Kaizzer na lumalapit na sa amin kaya tumigil na ako sa pagsasayaw at binigay ang kamay n'ya kay Kaizzer tsaka umalis papunta sa table kung saan kami uupong labingwalo. Bago pa man ako tuluyang makalayo ay bahagya akong lumingon kay Michelle na ngayon ay mangiti-ngiting inamoy ang pulang rosas mula sa akin.
I smiled at her like a lovesick fool. What cusre did you put on me that you got me just like that, Michelle?
Muli kong binisita ang tagong puting pader na nasa glasshouse. Tago ito dahil natatabunan ito ng mga matataas na halaman at mga vines pero marami-raming pumupunta rito para magsulat. This wall is called "Remedy Wall" for us. Dito namin sinusulat ang mga problema, hinanakit, frustrations, sikreto at kung anu-ano pang tinatago naming nararamdaman na hindi namin kayang ilabas dahil sa iba't ibang rason at circumstances.
Bahagya ako yumuko sa may kanan ko at nakita ko ang mga salitang nakasulat sa pulang pintura.
I think I want to die... so I can be free. Naalala ko ang katagang ito. Eto 'yung mga panahong sakal na sakal na ako sa mga ginagawa sa akin ng mga magulang ko. 'Yung kailangan lahat ng gusto nila gagawin namin ni ate para daw sa kinabukasan namin. I don't think it's not. We can simply do well in school if they want us to do well in school—get good grades and achieve in school for our future. But what they want us to do is to make their company prosper in big time. We don't benefit here, they are. We do this not because of our future, but because they want everyone to be impressed with them.
I only thought that the world is really cruel, that the world is really that selfish. But...
When I met her, I think the world is not really that selfish after all. Unti-unti akong ngumiti matapos kong isulat ito sa ibabaw ng katagang una kong sinulat rito. For me, Michelle Sumastre is the epitome of freedom. Wala s'yang pakealam kung hindi n'ya kami masabayang mga elites. Wala s'yang pakealam kung may suot ba s'yang ginto o may hawak s'yang mamahaling gamit. Wala s'yang pakealam kung may makabanggaan man s'yang mataas na tao, basta masabi lang n'ya ang sa tingin n'ya ay tama. She don't care about the laws of the elite. She wants to be free and to do what is right. I salute her for that. Maybe because...
Maybe because I like her already.
I already like, Michelle Sumastre.
"Ano 'to?" tanong n'ya nung may inabot ako sa kanyang isang pulang kahon nung makalabas na kami ng kotse ko. Nasa loob na kami ng 7 Eleven at magkatabi kaming nakaupo habang nasa harap namin ang dalawang cup ng noodles at burger. I was about to bring her in a fine dine but then she refuse. Gusto daw n'yang kumain dito at mas malapit naman dito ang bahay nila. This just few blocks away from their home kaya okay lang kung maglalakad lang s'ya pauwi. Gusto ko s'yang ihatid sa restaurant ng uncle n'ya kaso ayaw n'yang ihatid ko s'ya doon dahil baka hindi na ako pauwiin ng mga kaibigan n'yang bakla. Pfft. Silly.
"Kahon malamang," she glared at me because of my sarcasm.
"Alam kong kahon 'to 'wag mokong pilosopohin. Ang ibig kong sabihin, ano ang laman nito?" tanong n'ya.
I sighed. "That's a vanilla-strawberry flavored cake. Alam kong gusto mong kumain ng cake doon sa reception ng kasal ni ate but I don't think that's possible. Mainit ang dugo ni dad sa atin kaya panigurado magmumukha tayong gate crasher doon kahit invited naman tayo.
"Sabagay tama ka," umismid naman s'ya. "Ikaw naman kasi eh! Bakit 'yun pa ang naisip mong paraan para magkausap ang ate mo at ang dating nobyo n'ya na true love naman n'ya."
"Kaysa naman magsisi sila na hindi nila nagawang magkausap. At least, we helped them in that part. At least may nagawa akong tama para sa ate ko," I said in a monotone voice.
Napatitig naman s'ya sa akin dahilan para mag-iwas ako ng tingin. I don't wanna stare at her too. Baka kung ano ang masabi ko eh. Hindi pa ako handang sabihin... siguro. Goddamn it, this is so gay! Noon, pinagtatawanan ko si kuya Jared kapag kinikilig s'ya kay ate Sydney at tinatawag ko pa s'yang gayshit no'n but now it's happening to me! Karma is really a bitch. Fvck it, I really do have hots on Michelle Sumastre.
"Sabagay, tama ka," aniya sabay bukas ng kahon ng cake. "Huwaw! Mukhang masarap! Hmm~ ang bango pa ng cake! Pwede ko bang tikman?"
I shrugged. "I bought it for you so eat it and don't hold back."
She pouted. "Kaso, baka magka-diabetes ako nito kung ako lang ang kakain. Masyado itong marami para sa akin. Hoy, Bagyo, share tayo!"
"I'm... not really into sweets," napangiwi ako bilang tugon.
"Asus! Minsan lang naman eh kaya share na tayo ha? Ha?" pangungulit n'ya.
I sighed in defeat. "Oo na, oo na!"
"Ayos! Tikman ko muna ha? Okay lang?" her eyes twinkled as she asked my approval.
Nagkibit-balikat ulit ako at nangalumbaba sa mesa. "Sure."
"Okay!" masayang tugon n'ya sabay lagay ng icing sa kanyang daliri at tinikman ito. "Hmm~ ang sarap sobra!"
Hindi ko na namalayan ang sarili ko na nakatitig lang ako sa kanya habang masayang tinitikman n'ya ang cake. She even asked my permission if she can eat the cake that I bought for her and even wanna share the cake with me. Such a nice trait... I never saw it to all the girls I met both in school and business. Kapag lagi s'yang ganito, mas lalo lang akong nagkakagusto sa kanya.
"Is it possible for you to like someone like me?" natigilan naman s'ya sa pagtikim ng cake at maang s'yang napatingin sa akin na para bang nagulat s'ya sa tanong ko.
Holy shit! Did I just asked her that effing question?! Oh goddamn it this is so stupid! You're so stupid Storm! I wanna throw you in the Pacific Ocean for crying out loud!
"I mean..." sa halip na bawiin ay nagdugtong na lamang ako ng sasabihin ko. "Is it possible for you to like a rude, cold and sarcastic guy like m-me?"
This is now or never, Storm. You gonna hold on to the faint hope you have or you gonna sulk in the corner because you're never been true to yourself about this. You gonna be brave like what kuya Jared do. Say your feelings for her... before it's too late.
Naramdaman ko naman ang titig n'ya sa akin kaya unti-unti akong lumingon. My heart beats raging fast and I breathe so heavily as I'm anticipating for her answer.
Sumilay naman ang matamis na ngiti sa kanyang labi. "Hindi naman mahirap gustuhin ka, Bagyo. Oo rude ka, suplado, isnabero, maldito, at pilosopo pero may mabuti ka namang kalooban at sobrang hanga ako sa pagmamahal mo sa ate mo kaya masasabi kong hindi ka talaga mahirap gustuhin."
I gasp silently in such answer. Are you giving me the hope that you can like me too, Michelle?
Agad naman n'yang hinarap ang cake at kumain. "Kung ako, malamang nagkagusto na ako sa'yo kasi mabait ka naman kahit suplado ka. Kaso, hindi na kasi pwede. Baka crush pwede pa kasi hinahangaan naman kita. Kaso... hindi pwede eh kung saka-sakaling gusto mo ako."
"W-Why... I mean, why not?" my voice began to tremble. What the heck is this?!
"May iba na akong gusto eh."
Pakiramdam ko'y para akong nabuhusan ng isang bucket ng ice o kaya nama'y bigla na lamang akong binagyo sa kanyang sinabi.
So... you mean... may iba ka nang gusto?
"M-May iba ka nang gusto? Si-Sino?" tanong ko.
Is it Tric? Mark? Raven? Nathaniel? Hans? Luke? Ryuuji? Tyrone? Errol? Nolan? Riel? Leogne? Kezie? France? Price Kurt? Arsean? Kaizzer? Who? Who is it?
Lumingon naman s'ya sa akin at malapad na ngumiti. "Secret~ hihihi. Basta, may crush na ako... baka love na nga eh kasi kahit hindi s'ya laging nakatingin sa akin, s'ya parin ang laman ng puso ko. Gusto ko s'ya nung una akong pumasok sa Empire Academy. Alam kong imposibleng mapansin n'ya ako pero malay mo, balang araw... mapapansin din n'ya ako at malaman n'yang gusto ko s'ya at magustuhan rin n'ya ako."
"I bet that guy is so lucky that you like him..." I said, trying to hide the sadness in my voice.
This is just an indirect confession but it feels awful. I felt something piercing in my heart after hearing what she said. Goddamn this confession! This is a total gayshit!
Nagsisisi ka bang nagtanong ka sa kanya n'yan? Anang boses sa isip ko.
Nagsisisi ba ako? Siguro hindi. Gusto kong malaman kung may pag-asa ba ang tulad ko na magustuhan n'ya. At ayoko na ring itago ito. Ayoko na ring magtago ng nararamdaman. Ayoko na ring magsulat ng mga nararamdaman ko sa Remedy Wall kung may bibig naman ako para sabihin sa kanya ang nararamdaman ko. I don't regret saying these up. I'm just a bit in pain.
Ngumiti naman s'ya sa akin. "Hindi siguro. Andaming babaeng nagkakagusto sa kanya kasi heartthrob s'ya sa Empire kaya imposibleng maswerte s'ya dahil gusto ko s'ya. Baka ako pa nga ang swerte kapag napansin n'ya ang pagmamahal ko para sa kanya."
I smiled weakly. No, you're wrong Michelle. He is so lucky. He is so damn lucky that he was liked... loved by the girl I like the most... my very first love.
But I bet this is not over. You are willing to wait for that guy to notice you then I'll make a move and do the same too. I will wait for more. I will wait for that day that she'll set her eyes on me and like me too. It may be impossible, but I will wait. I will wait for that day that you'll gonna notice me too, Michelle Sumastre.
READ ME!!! READ ME!!! READ THE AUTHOR'S NOTE!!!
A/N: Hey guys! Sorry for the very very very very very very late UD, XIELOs and ROSE ELITEs~ yes, I know that I am hiatus for two weeks because it's my internship/pre-service teaching so yeah, my schedule is so hectic and busy so that's why I end up doing hiatus. Sorry if this update is sooo spoil. I'll make up to you next time. Hahaha. Umm, since my internship is one month and I still have my enhancement classes so my updates might end up once a week, it depends if I can manage to do some double update or something so I hope guys you gonna understand me. I'm still working hard for my diploma/bachelor degree this coming graduation. Hahaha! Just give me tons of comments, reads and votes as my graduation gift. HAHAHA!
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