Love. What is love? Why do we always use that word for a lot of things? Why is it that we believe that this four letter word is everything? If you look it up in the internet, love is said to be an intense feeling of affection created from the human brain. From a Catholic perspective, taken from 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8, "Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends." (Not trying to be biased in terms of religion)
But what is it really? Even simple definitions will not let my head wrap around the idea of love because all it ever did was hurt me. My parents say they love me but do not seem to care if I'm hurting. My relatives claim to as well but all they do is judge me, push me around, and make me feel inferior. My friends may but they leave me alone in the dark whenever I need them the most. I had completely given up on the idea of love. But then I saw him...
I didn't mind, walking into the room, greeting my friends after not seeing each other in quite a while. But once I looked up, I saw him. He was practically towering over me as we passed. His smile caught my attention. At first, I thought he looked slightly familiar. It was like I've seen him before somewhere but it seemed impossible since it was my first time being in this place in eight years after transferring to y/city/n. Then I met his eyes for a quick moment. My chest felt heavy, my heart was beating faster, my palms felt moist and cold, my stomach was doing summersaults.
What is this feeling? I thought to myself. Who is this man and what is he doing to me?
"Who is he?" I whispered to one of my close friends.
"Oh, him? He's Shawn. He'll be helping out throughout the event." She replied, not even seeming to show the same effects that the stranger has on me.
Hours passed and I couldn't seem to stop myself from staring at him. Something about him intrigues me. Like how I've said so many times before, how can one look so familiar yet still be a stranger to me? But as I continue to analyze him from afar, he actually looks attractive. His deep brown eyes, tall build, fluffy dark brown hair, pink lips. Everything about him seemed perfect even with the little imperfections here and there. Then he sang. Goddamn, he has the voice of a fucking angel! He manages to make it seem effortless yet sounds amazing!
"Y/n, didn't you hear? We have to go to lunch then gear up for the next activities." Y/bff/n said, snapping me back to reality.
I shook my head and headed out of the function hall, following her to the dining area. But even with the people I'm with or conversation we're having, I still can't seem to stop looking at him. After we decided to go to our rooms to change, I stood up and placed my plate on the baskets they were using to sort everything out. When I looked up, I couldn't seem to control myself. I froze right in front of him, my hand stopped mid-air as I was in the middle of leaving the left overs on the small bowl by the side. I only came back to reality when my friends tapped me on my shoulder, telling me that they're about to head over to the dorms. I finished my task as fast as I could before running after them.
God, y/n! Snap out of it! You're acting really weird and is it seriously all because of a boy you have never even met before a few hours ago?! He's practically a stranger to you! You'll probably never even see him again after this retreat! By tomorrow, you'll get over it and go back to y/city/n, not even remembering his name or how he looks like. Get over it!
I tried to get myself together as we changed into clothes comfortable enough for running. The day passes by quickly. I still can't seem to get my eyes of the poor guy and the fact that I practically had a mini heart attack when I heard him sing is not helping weird feelings I get when I see him or even think of him. Running out of the dorms, heading into the main building for breakfast, I tried to get my mind off him. It was strange. He's just somewhat intriguing and I have no idea why. He hasn't left my mind since I got here, even in my sleep. I was so caught up in my thoughts that I didn't realize someone was walking in front of me until we both collided, leaving me flat on my ass.
"Shit, are you okay?" The person asked, kneeling down in front of me.
I looked up and met his dark brown eyes filled with concern. It felt as if my heart was going to explode and I didn't trust my mouth to spill out something that makes any sense so I just nodded, taking the hand he stook out to help me.
"I'm sorry. I should've been paying attention to where I was going." I stammered.
He looked at me and smiled. "It's okay. I'm Shawn by the way."
"Y/n."
Once our hands met, that's when I realized something. Love is a strong word but you'll know it once you feel it. Even if it's one-sided, you can still feel it. And maybe this is what they call love at first sight. After this, only time will tell if we are meant to be with each other or maybe he'll just be another crush.
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A/N: It's been a long time, huh? 😂 I'm sorry for the long time I haven't posted but school is stressing the living shit out of me.
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